Olympia Review 2014: "My Olympia"

When we asked you lovely readers if you wouldn't mind sharing your experiences of the Olympia weekend ("My Olympia": Contributions Wanted!), we weren't expecting to get thousands of responses, but we had hoped we'd get more than one!

Fortunately, it's beaut (as the man himself might say), all the way from Australia - so you should bear in mind while reading that because of the time difference, the Ms Olympia was on Friday 19th September, but it was already Saturday 20th in Oz.


"Ozzy's Olympia"

As usual, like many lovers of big muscles (I should probably say "addict", by the way) I was impatiently waiting for this year Ms Olympia, mostly to see our "real" Queen of Muscle Alina, and to drool in front of Anne Freitas's unbelievable ass...

And I was not disappointed!

This Saturday, I was working, but I could not stop thinking about what was taking place at the same time, far, far away from me. I was thinking, "At this moment, maybe Alina is on stage, maybe she's winning this Ms O", or "In what state of mind are all of those ladies?" and, of course, "How can those judges stay calm during the show? I mean, they HAVE to jerk off at least once, don't they? Just to be able to do their job quietly!"

And the morning passed, and during the lunchtime break, I quickly went online to check if there were any vids or pics of the event... And they were all available!!! I immediately looked at them, of course, but I had to go back to work, so I only looked at what was most important to me: Anne's ass! And, oh boy, it was really, really difficult not to wank immediately but I had to wait...



All afternoon I couldn't get the pics of her out of my head. One in particular... I was continually thinking about her crotch. She looked like she had developed some new muscles, and that her vagina had now totally mutated into some new thing! And, all the time, I was thinking "Oh my god, how good it must be to be inside it..."

And when I came back home, it was too late to jerk off, because my girlfriend was already there... I had to wait until Monday (!!!) to finally release my load in front of Anne's magnificent ass... And, of course, I'd had the image in my mind for two days, so it was only a formality to do it... it took only a few seconds before I ejaculated...

A week after, I'm still obsessed by this picture, and I've already jerked off twice in front of it today...

Many thanks to Ozzy for taking the time to share his Olympia weekend experience.

Check out Ozzy Female Muscle "The Blog of a Man Who Loves Muscular Women", sadly rarely updated these days, but there's a fair old archive to explore nevertheless.

If Ozzy has inspired you to write about whatever it was you were thinking and doing during the Olympia weekend, please email me: 6ft1swell@gmail.com.

I look forward to hearing your stories.

Thanks again to Ozzy!

Olympia 2014 Review: FMS Awards

Judging by the post-Olympia buzz, it's fair to say the star of the Olympia 2014 was probably Juliana Malacarne, and all things considered it's hard to disagree that she had the muscles, the performance and the most exciting win of the weekend.

But who else made an impression on the FMS "judges"?

It's time to find out as, with our tongues quite clearly in our cheeks, we bring you the first (and possibly the last but you never know) FMS Ms Olympia Awards!

(and no, we couldn't ignore Juliana either...)


The Ursula Andress Award for Best Entrance
JULIANA MALACARNE for her "Praying Mantis"



Juliana is on the right, in case you were confused.


Biggest Bulge
SIMONE OLIVEIRA



If it's bulge you want, the NAC is where it's at. "Classy" shows like the Olympia, where care is taken to mask that little bit extra, are not usually the best bulge hunting grounds. But Simone, in the bright pink posing suit she wore during the prejudging, made a bid to impress the judges with her fbb special. Unless it's padding. Might be.


The "Suit You, Madam" Award for Sexiest Posing Suit
YAXENI ORIQUEN, Prejudging



The fashion this year seemed to be for bright, multi-coloured swirly patterns with plenty of sparkle, but FMS is an old school female muscle head who likes his posing suits to be of the old school style - one colour and very VERY revealing.



So, despite competition from Christine Envall's gold and Alana Shipp's blue prejudging suits, Yaxeni gets the award for squeezing her mighty muscles into her trusty old black posing suit, and once again giving us the pleasure of watching her pecs stretch the bejesus out of it and her glutes threaten to make it disappear altogether.



Perhaps one day that much-abused fabric will give up and fall apart when she hits her side chest pose. Perhaps that's the moment when Yaxeni, with her muscle breasts bared, will finally call it a day for both her Olympia career AND her suit.


Proudest Smile
CYDNEY GILLON lights up the auditorium



We've noted the divine Ms Gillon's dazzle before on FMS (see Chicago 2014: Olympia Bound), and she didn't disappoint on her Olympia debut. From the moment she stepped onto the stage she looked happier than Pharrell Williams when he checks his bank balance, and, if anything that smile got even bigger and brighter for the finals.



We also wanted to give Cydney an award for the impressive way her posing suit thong thing became visibly tauter when she flexed her glutes, but we couldn't think of a snappy name for the award, so let's just take it as another kind of smile...


The Never Noticed That Before Award for New Bits
ALINA POPA



Check it out! Just below and a bit to the right of the number 10 and directly opposite that. What muscles are they? And while you are down there, you might as well peruse that area in general for new bits that emerge from and disappear into her posing suit. Anne Freitas had something similar going on down there without the kind of detail Alina has. What, I wonder, are the movements that develop those muscles?


The Andrulla Blanchette Award for Best Brit

Will hopefully have a winner next year...


Most Unexpected Flex
ALICIA COATES' biceps



White Men Can't Jump, and Figure Girls Don't Flex... unless they are Alicia Coates, who gave us the left in the prejudging and (only slightly less unexpected) the right in the finals, both with a big old Grrrrr. Oh, we DO like your style, Alicia!


The Express Yourself Award
LA'DRISSA BONIVEL



And we DO like a bit of emoting with our flexing too, and while there was plenty of that in the routines across the divisions, La'Drissa Bonivel's prejudging flexes were accompanied by an emote-fest that makes her a clear winner in this category.



Sadly, these still images don't do justice to quite how expressive the la'lovely La'Drissa was, but hopefully they'll give you a taste. Track down video if you can for the FULL emote - FMS might be able to point you in the right direction. Drop us an email.


The Cinara Polido Award for Involuntary Flexing
SIMONE OLIVEIRA's glutes and hamstrings



Apt that a Brazilian should win this award given it is named after one (see Cinara's gluteal spasms from the NABBA Universe 2013). Simone didn't have a great night at the Olympia, finishing 13th out of 13, but this is the second award she's picked up tonight (albeit an award for something beyond her control). The pictures can't possibly convey just how much her glutes and hamstrings were putting on their own flexing show, so you will have to take our word for it, or, alternatively, check Simone out in the prejudging here from about the eleven-minute mark. And those fast-twitching muscles didn't stop twitching for her routine, either, so check that out too - right here.


Ms Granite Glootz Olympia (chosen by C. Moore Glootz)
ALANA SHIPP



You know C. Moore isn't joking when he says he carefully checked every single pair in every single division before making his final choice. And a HARD choice it was. Alina Popa, Anne Freitas, Christine Envall and Ms 10x herself all made C. Moore's short list, but in the end Alana's sculpted bunz emerged as clear winners.




My loins are on fire, C. Moore told us. All that DETAIL, magnificent ripplage. And so TIGHT, like it's an advantage that she's not the biggest. All that hard gloot muscle packed into such a small area. Imagine how DENSE they must be. And Alana KNOWS they're special, C. Moore can tell cos she spent like 90% of her routine with her glootz right up in the judges faces. If C. Moore in the front row... UNNNNGH!


The "Me Flex It Longtime" Award for the Longest Held Pose
MYRIAM CAPES



Surprisingly, it's a Fitness competitor who we reckon held a pose for the longest. Myriam Capes, as noted yesterday, treated the audience to a big old most muscular near the end of her routine - and certainly took her time about it, winding it up before hitting it HARD, and then holding ... holding... and holding some more!!!



Honestly, I believe women have given birth in less time than Myriam took over her big muscle finish, and when she was finally done the end of her routine almost seemed to be something of an afterthought. "Damn I am pumped UP! Oh, the music's still going... well, I'll just jump in the air and do a twist and that should do it... YEAH!"


The Diana Dennis Award for Best Bodybuilding Routine
SHEILA BLECK

Serious one this, like the "Best Film" or "Best Song" of the FMS Olympia Awards...



Alina was all grace and beautiful poses, I enjoyed Jennifer Sedia's funky routine a lot more than I'd imagined I would, and FMS fave Margie Martin's sass and size definitely got the blood pumping, but, predictably, the winner is... Sheila Bleck.




I didn't think this was her absolute best routine, but the standards she sets herself are SO high that even so, she still had more than enough athleticiam, sensuality and artistry to make everyone else's routine seem a little one-dimensional. If the routines were worth the amount of overall points they are in the Fitness division (66%), Sheila would have placed a LOT higher - and would have a lot more pro titles.



Watch Sheila in motion here - she's on second after Rita Bello - though the monotone (and largely irrelevant to what we're watching) commentary does distract (and detract) from Sheila somewhat, so you might want to turn the sound down.


The Howlin' Wolf Award for Sexiest Routine (in any division)
SAMANTHA HILL's "Michael Jackson" routine

Juliana probably gave us the "Best" routine not just in the Physique division, but in any division. However, this is not an award for the "Best" routine, but the "Sexiest", and for the FMS panel, there wasn't a routine that came close to the unapologetically sexual energy of Samantha Hill's. It stank of sex. It was positively dripping in it.



To tunes including a couple of Michael Jackson numbers, Samantha didn't so much do a routine as move around suggestively, holding her position every now and then in a kind of pose. Throughout she looked as if she wasn't trying too hard - sort of half-heartedly mouthing some of the words of the songs, for example - which gave her an air of "this is all a bit beneath me" arrogance that had hands reaching under the table in the FMS office, and, I dare say, all over the female muscle lovin' world.



Not for a moment would I want you to think that I think Samantha actually wasn't trying too hard, she just had that air about her, and it slayed me. I ended up in the 3rd callout after nailing my Michael Jackson routine, she told her Instagram followers. No, I may not have placed as high as I wanted but even stepping on the Olympia stage among the top 24 women in the world is an honor and a dream come true. Don't worry I'll be back! And when she is, there will be even more Samantha Hill fans than there were this time around. Well, at least one! FMS' new crush.



Watch Samantha drip in it from 16.40 here.

Enjoy!