Arnolds Review: Swell Digs Amateurs

FIGURE PHENOMS

ELISE FARGIE
Winner, Class F



We do like it when we pick 'em.

Elise was an FMS Woman of the Week this time last year, in particular the "gorgeously thick and defined abdominal ridges" on this Australian Figure champ drawing our attention. Here she won the tallest of the Figure classes, quite surprisingly if her own reaction is to be believed. I came into this show with a goal of making Top 10, she wrote afterwards, and completely exceeded alllllll [sic] my expectations!



These past 6 days have been the BEST experience of my life...

Pleased for her. Elise comes across as very genuine on her social media. As a mother, she has quite a lot more to do than most while preparing herself for such contests, and as an Aussie, she had further to travel than most of the other Figure ladies as well.



More Elise at the Arnold Amateur.

ALICIA BELL
Runner-up, Class C



In direct contrast to Elise, Canada's beautiful Alicia Bell had "high expectations" of herself at the Arnolds, and couldn't help but be a tad disappointed - even though 2nd is nothing to be sniffed at - by the outcome. However, 3rd at last year's Canadian Nationals, and now 2nd here, I'd say Alicia is definitely heading in the right direction.



It's a fun ride watching her prepare for these shows. Alicia is one of those Figure ladies who never stops showing off her increasingly freaky and separated muscles - "my delts have delts!" - as the big day approaches, and her prep for the Arnolds was the most enjoyable watch yet. One of the many reasons why she's so popular not just in my house and the FMS office, but across the female muscle fan forums as well.



Watch Alicia backstage at the Arnolds.

LOLA MONTEZ
Winner, Class C & Overall



It was always going to take something, someone special to beat Alicia, and here she is.



If you've never seen a naked Lola Montez in one of those clips that populate areas of the internet not solely reserved for female muscle (clips that enable Lola to fund the lifestyle that enables her to look like this), then I suggest you seek one out sharpish.



Having said that though, even the blandest images of Lola covered up (to some degree at least) are hot enough for me and my imagination, let alone her sizzling IG clips - like this one, for example, taken after the Arnold pre-judging. 1st callouts. Dead Center, she triumphantly announced. See you at the finals. Her "#1" sign at the end of the clip leaves no doubt where she expected to find herself placed. And she was not wrong.

PHYSIQUE DREAMS

LEA LOUISE GEIGER
5th, Class A



Familiar from NPC Nationals past as a Bodybuilder, Lea has been a Physique competitor since around 2015, although not very often and with no great success.



Only the top 5 (out of 20 in the class as a whole) got to perform their routines here, so this was probably Lea's biggest achievement in her nigh-on 10-year career to date.



Haven't managed to find anything from her on social media, but I did find this random - but hot as only women admiring muscle women can be - clip from 2015. Enjoy!

ANGELA YEO
3rd, Class A




We finish today's diggery with two women who've been all over the forums in the last few months, the first Angela Yeo, recently featured on FMS for one of the many muscle fetish-y clips she puts up on her Instagram, clips that have had the brethren becoming increasingly breathless in their praise for her. Clips like this one...



I have never been through anything quite like this, said Angela as she prepared to say goodbye to Columbus, "looking filled up and pretty". I am SO PROUD. I can't wait to find out what will fire me up like this again. OMG am I ready to lift!!!



There's a growing number of us always ready to watch.

LINA MARIA VARELA
Runner-up, Class A



Over the last twelve months, Dominican Lina Maria Varela has gone from being an undeniably attractive but largely unremarkable Figure competitor to a bona fide shredded Physique goddess - one of my top swoons for 2017 without question.




Her countless sweaty workout clips and the fact that she's not been shy about showing off her gains have endeared her to the wider female muscle lovin' world as well, and that very much includes you lovely FMS readers. You'll find out more next week, but it's not hard to see why she'll be making her Hot and Hard 100 debut this year.



She's obviously a name (and body) familiar to most, but what might surprise you about Lina Maria though is her age. Although I'm not sure exactly when she was born but at her most recent contest before the Arnolds - the NPC Clash of Champions in October last year - she won both the Open and the Masters over 35 Physique titles.

And we leave you today with Lina Maria getting oiled up and much much more!



Tomorrow, Swell digs some Arnold pros.

Back Beauty

BACK POOL (Part 1)

If you've got it, you should really flaunt it.



Azaria knows, Azaria does.

BACK BEEF


Alicia Bell

There certainly is a lot to take in on these women, noted a fella who contacted me recently asking to be "initiated" into the world of female muscle lovin' (for real!). Most women it's just tits and ass, but these women have so much more going on...

He was, apparently, a fast learner. Or maybe he was just learning from the best?

BACK PLAY FOR TODAY

UNSUSPECTING WEDDING GUEST

(turning to a guest sitting next to him)
See the muscles on that bridesmaid? Looks like a bloke in a dress.

SWELL

I KNOW... She's hot.

UNSUSPECTING WEDDING GUEST

Huh? You... like that?

SWELL

Oh I do. I really do. You know what lats are?

(UNSUSPECTING WEDDING GUEST nods)

SWELL

(con't)

Well, there's nothing sexier than a woman whose lats hang over the back of her dress. Right, darling?

MRS SWELL

Oh yessss. So wide, so powerful. I would LOVE to have a back like that.

SWELL

You will, baby. You will.

MRS SWELL

I am getting so turned on looking at her...

UNSUSPECTING WEDDING GUEST

(taking his plus 1 by the arm)

Come on, darling. Let's go and sit somewhere else.

MRS SWELL

Guess they don't lift.

SWELL

Guess so. And I guess we are going to be back in our room while everyone else is having their starter.

MRS SWELL

Mmmm. Wonder if I can persuade her to join us later.

(A huge thought bubble appears above SWELL's head)

SWELL

(his thoughts, in the bubble)

That's why I married you.

Not a true story. Just what flashed through my head while I was looking at these sexy (and as yet unidentified) lats spilling over the sides of that dress. Among other things.

BACK POOL (Part 2)

If you've got it, you should really flaunt it.



Like, really flaunt it. Don't just prance around in the pool with all your muscles, give 'em a show, this is Back Pool after all! [UK readers may get that, the rest of you... probably not] Show 'em what you can do with those muscles, show 'em those beautiful muscles in motion - even if a pull-up is a tad easier in water. You're so damn Alpha!

DOUBLE BACK DOUBLE BICEPS



Jodi Boam and Pearl Binder - backs to savour (ie. salivate all over) at the Vancouver Pro this year. Pearl is currently topping my (unofficial) What-you-doing-in-Physique-you-a-BODYBUILDER-lady list. Seriously. Get back to where you once belonged Ms 2016 CBBF Nationals Overall Masters Bodybuilding champ.

I ask you!

BACK ROOM



I'm going to need a bigger bathroom, thinks the spreading Tonya Hickey.

21 Reasons (#21)

Due to some work commitments and Mr and Mrs Swell's now annual sojourn to the South of France (not the bit that was recently on fire, thankfully), the FMS offices are going to be closed this week, next week and the week after. Nevertheless, as always, we don't want to leave you totally FMS-less, so we've lined up 21 Reasons, one daily picture (or two or three), plus one reason why we love doing what we do, as if we were explaining it to one not so convinced of the glory of the muscular female.

Enjoy!

#21
ENLIGHTENMENT?



And so to the last of our 21 Reasons. So far we have had facial beauty, Laine Costa's sweaty pecs, happiness, Lauren Martin Stow, the joys of obsession, Fanny Swerkstrom's bum, flexibility, lady pecs (in general, not just Laine's sweaty ones), curves, magnetism, that female muscle jawline, Guluzar Tufenk, abs, the fact that the sport has a champion as in-your-face sexy as Margie Martin, clitoral enlargement, biceps, Dani Reardon, exhibitionism, Female Bodybuilding contests, and, yesterday, the transformative powers of muscle. I could have mentioned many many others, but these were the 20 that ultimately made the cut. It hardly matters, but would our imaginary female muscle denier be convinced, do you think?

I think not.



No one is "convinced". I can't imagine what it's like not to be attracted to female muscle, and I would bet you can't either. We just are. It wasn't a rational choice. Attraction never is. Nevertheless, we suspect those who claim never to be attracted to muscle on a woman, even the smallest amount, are kidding themselves - that's why I call them "deniers", for example. We, on the other hand are "enlightened". We have, in the literal sense, "seen the light" - the fact that muscle women are just better.



We're not enlightened though. We're just wired this way. The deniers are going to see the light sooner or later. They'll have no choice the way things are going. "Strong is the new sexy" was the phrase du jour some years ago. Take away the "new" and you're bang up-to-date with the now. Female gym membership on the up and up, the number of women competing likewise. Meanwhile, weight training for women is growing in popularity in countries where just a decade ago it was unheard of. Even in the few countries where it's forbidden it's growing. More and more female muscle on the planet. The women who do it "enlightening" the women who don't to take it up. Muscles, for more and more women around the world, are desirable, and those that disagree will, the way things are going, be occupying the weirdo space where we once were.



So don't congratulate yourself too much. You weren't "proved right" or anything like that because you didn't have much choice in the matter. Rather you should count yourself lucky. You should absolutely feel blessed to be a female muscle fan in the current zeitgeist. It feels pretty good when your team is winning, doesn't it?

FMS returns to "normality" tomorrow.