Sunday at Sea

Imagine...

The wife has been waving cruise brochures in front of your face for years, but never managed to get you on the boat. This year, however, she just went and booked it.

Four weeks of it. Your Christmas "present".

You set sail in August, but have felt nauseous since February.

But as you arrive at the port - with a month's worth of travel sickness pills - the radar goes off like it's never gone off before. Muscle to starboard (or is it port?), and from where you are she looks HUGE! You try - and fail - not to stare. She's right there, tight shorts, loose vest and OMG she's only bloody POSING in front of the boat.



And OMG it IS her. It's KATIE LEE!!!

Katie (really) did take a well-earned break for a Caribbean cruise with friends recently - Dominican Republic, Honduras, etc. And I can't help wondering how many of her fellow passengers spent days and nights desperately manoeuvring themselves and their significant others into parts of the boat where Katie & Co. were while at the same time (and equally desperately) trying to cover up a tentpole the size of an oar...



The more successful our voyaging female muscle heads were at that - and at stalking the gorgeous Katie during stop-offs - probably had a knock-on effect on the vigour, and frequency, with which their significant other got the "benefit" of that tentpole.



Net result - your wife's now under the impression that if she wants a "romantic" holiday, then taking you on a cruise is the only way to go. "He's never like this when we do a city break," she says to herself after yet another (vigorous) pre-dinner (post-Katie-stalking) cabin romp. "Think I'll pre-book next year before we disembark."



The "Allure of the Seas", eh?

More Katie, including more Katie on vacation, on her Instagram.

Tampa: Closer

See the sweat - damn you can even see the pores on some!

As we noted the other day (see Triggers), James Cook does take you to the parts other photographers don't reach, and in Tampa, Mr. Rivieccio went in really close during the Figure presentations. Now the idea that muscle women (and in the grand scheme of things these Figure phenoms are HUGE) "look like men", is, sadly, still prevalent, but for me at least, he's really captured the beauty of these phenomenal ladies...



Even as their Protan begins to streak!

Download and zoom in (the pics are easily hi-res enough to take it) and you'll see that even though Tiffany Laumeyer (left) really is sweating profusely, whoever did her tanning application should definitely consider doing a bit more training before their next show. You'll also see where little beads of sweat have collected into tongue-tip size pools where the flawless Danielle Rose's neck meets the top of her pecs.



The big winner in the day was Canada's Melissa Bumstead (below, left). There are so many strong candidates for "The Most Beautiful Woman in Figure" that it could be a conversation that, once started, might never end. Melissa would definitely be part of that conversation though, and her somewhat wild-eyed excitement at being front and centre in the first callout only makes her even more beautiful to my eyes.



Next to Melissa (here, not in the first callout), Maggie Watson gets a bit of a raw deal - the expression on her face at the exact moment Cook clicked could have been more flattering for sure - but again, zoom in and perhaps think about how good the sweat making her neck shine would taste. Or that on her shoulders. Or the trickle running down her pec line... Would you wait for it to trickle down onto her abs, or not?



Amber Eutsey (left, she of the unabashed bicep flex - see Monday's post, Tease), looks like she felt powerful even when she wasn't showing off "illegally", while Mexico's stunning Georgina Lona has the expression of a woman who can't quite believe what she's standing next to. Or perhaps it's what that guy in the front row is doing...



But while Cook went in close on many of the Figure Phenoms, he only stayed in close on Puerto Rican sizzler Karen Reyes. The camera really loves her, as it were.




Should Annie be worried? I doubt it. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if she were controlling the whole thing from the comfort of wherever she was, ordering Cook to take more of this girl, more of that girl, and much much more of Karen. The idea that after the show Annie and James reviewed all these pics together (and naked) from the comfort of their hotel bed is perhaps the hottest one I've had all week!

Enjoy!

Tomorrow we say goodbye to Tampa for another year.

A Passionate Man

SWELL DIGS... IMPLANTS and MUSCLES


Everything I want. Everything I dream about.

No, this is not me coming out on the side of the "enhanced" in the eternal chest debate, but rather the title of, in my opinion at least, one of the very few female muscle focused blogs on Tumblr actually worth following. I love women with implants, I love women with muscles, explains its author. I love women with implants and muscles.


Christi [Wolf], the first real bimbo-FBB. Glammed up, big hair, drag queen make-up, stripper heels and slutty clothes, but then big hard muscles and big fake tits. That WPW spread from 84,365,423 years ago — game changer.

Your average FBB fan Tumblr is hardly worth the storage space it takes up. Same old photos, reblogged over and over with the same old comments, if indeed there is any comment at all. I may not like everything Implants and Muscles posts, and I may not agree with everything he says, but at least he says it in a unique, original voice. He's thought-provoking, he's entertaining. At least he says something different.


So much ass muscle. Clydesdale of a woman.

I appreciate and admire his (more often than not brutal) honesty. I appreciate and respect his knowledge of Female Bodybuilders past and present. And I appreciate his humour - he's the only female muscle blogger who's made me actually laugh out loud. But above all, (and, despite the title, this is not exclusively reserved for the enhanced muscular woman) I recognise his burning, uncontrollable passion for female muscle.


If you were mine and I was around you all the time, I’d permanently be hard. I could never not be hard when you’re around. You could test it whenever you wanted. We could be out walking around and all you’d have to do is rub your hand down there and I guarantee you’d feel a lead pipe in there with your name on it. Is that what you want? Is that something you desire? Do you want your man’s cock to be constantly rock hard for you, throbbing for you? Do you want your man to be edging for you 24 hours a day because that’s what I offer. I’d live for you. All the blood would go to my cock, but if you were mine I know I’d never die cos I’d already be in heaven.

This passion manifests itself in gushing, heartfelt professions of undying love like that for Isabelle Turell above, but also a very real cam addiction. 30 minutes and $300 later... now my balls feel almost as empty as my heart, he confessed on February 5th. And then, just a few days ago, another howl of anguish after the pleasure. And now another $100... Why do I spend money on it when I can get off for free. Fuk!


Just look at how well her body responded to the drugs. Look at how buff they made her. It’s incredible. She, herself looks amazed. You know how hard it is to develop pecs like that!

I know full well the pleasure, and pain, of such splurging. And the short answer to his "Why do I do it?" question is that it really isn't quite like anything else. The high is very addictive, but for me, in the end, the self-loathing won out - not long before I started on this blog, probably not coincidentally. Perhaps Implants and Muscles needs another outlet for his talents to let go of that particular habit? Worked for me!


At the gym. Look over and see this woman taking a selfie of her injection points on her arm. Cock grows right out of your shorts and exceeds your typical length by several inches. You start spewing cum like a fire hose. You’ve found your soulmate.

Perhaps he just needs to find his?

As well as the "injection points"(!), she'll need a sense of humour...


"Hey! My eyes are up here! Hey-I’m talking to you! Hello? (Ergh!) Why do you always do this? Why must you always stare at my crotch, huh? I mean, even when we’re in public, I look over and you’re staring directly at my fucking crotch. I admit, at first it was kind of sexy—you had never seen a cock get this big and you would just go to town on me for hours, but now I think you’re seriously obsessed with my dick, like you have an actual problem and it’s not funny anymore! It’s like you don’t even want me anymore, you just want my penis."

Implants and Muscles on Tumblr

I Just Popped Out For...

... an eyeful of muscular womanhood at the supermarket(?!)



Well, at least the Heavyweight-below-the-waist version purveyed by Mia Sand.

The forums abound with stories of heads coming across big, strong, beautiful women at retail outlets. I seem to recall rather a lot of them take place at DIY (hardware) stores - "she was waiting in line at the checkout, casually holding an entire flat-packed office suite under one mighty arm". Encounters at chemists (drugstores) seem to be common too, which I suppose makes sense - they must take some legal drugs! One tale on the forum whose first rule is... ends up with the lady marrying the (charming, witty, not at all Madness-stricken) head she met one night in the queue for prescriptions.



But if the images FMS has managed to source for this post are anything to go by, your local equivalent of Tesco, Morrisons or the Co-op is where it's at. And surprisingly, you don't have to confine your search to the meat and veg aisles either. The lady might well be shopping for a cheat/treat on the evidence we have. Chocolate?! Wine?! Cake?! Maybe it's only worth a photo on such rare occasions - the weekly loading of enough chicken breast, broccoli and eggs to feed the five thousand into the trolley ain't.



Dare you ask for a flex?



Neither Michelle Vjacobo (left), nor Ria Ward look like they are backward in coming forward to show it off. For one thing those are outfits guaranteed to draw attention in a supermarket-based environment (or indeed any environment), they haven't come all hooded and covered to quickly shop and go, have they?

Dare you ask for a cheeky abs flash?



From my own experience, the only prerequisite for The Madness to descend is that I see a lady with ANY amount of muscle - they needn't be a full-grown FBB (I'd probably spontaneously combust if this ever happened). So Susanne Kleven (above) or Jessica Morgan Canty's ripped abs exhibitionism would be more than enough.



I couldn't even begin to imagine how I'd react in this scenario...



I find it hard to understand why there isn't a line of dudes, tongues hanging out, tentpoles at full mast, shuffling behind her, following her everywhere she goes?

Seriously though, happy hunting but don't go all stalky.



However hard it may be.



Enjoy!

The Chance Encounter

OK, you've got 25 seconds to decide what to do and/or say.

Ready?

Go!



Come up with any bon mots?

No, me neither.

And Lola Montez was very much in slow motion right there. Real time would have given you even less chance. And let's face it, you were hardly under pressure, were you? I mean, Lola's not REALLY sashaying down the street towards you, is she? What would you do then? What, if you were indeed capable of speech at all, would you say?



I console myself with the knowledge I am not alone.

Pics and vids is one thing, says one fellow head. Seeing them right in front of you is entirely another. Sightings in the gym are most common, and while they are always awesome occasions, they are definitely the least exhilarating. Nothing compares to a chance encounter in public. Exhilarating in the extreme. Muscle ladies get my heart pumping for sure, confides another. My breath gets short and I cannot take my eyes off of them. The desire is simply overwhelming. Ah yes! The Madness. On the extremely rare occasions that I actually see a true female bodybuilder (even at the figure level) in public, it's like my body goes into red alert and I'm stuck on that moment for at least the next couple days. It's like seeing a unicorn. Well put, sir!

Unless you live in Miami or some such and it's an every day kind of thing.



Or maybe not.

A muscle woman is something I can't prep for. It's one thing seeing hundreds of gorgeous legs, chests, glutes onscreen. I could see the same woman through hundreds of different pictures, or a dozen videos. Nothing ever readies you for when you see her in the flesh. It's the difference between watching a video of a rollercoaster, and physically RIDING one. For me, just seeing one is like an epiphany, and all attempts at maintaining my gentlemanly dignity dissolve to mush as my mouth hangs open, my eyes bulge wide, my breathing gets laboured.

Perhaps we'd be better having our chance encounter elsewhere.

Public transport, perhaps?



I mean, at least the book might give us a conversation starter, and for the time being Tina's not going anywhere, so you don't have to worry about thinking that fast.

Although I'm curious how you'd start a conversation while the object of your desire (that's Melissa Wee on the left, by the way) is using said transport as a mobile gym...



All those muscles in constant motion...

Or indeed if (like "Elana", right) she is in a female-only section of the tube!

When I see a very muscular woman, which is very rare, I lose control. I'm so attracted to the bulk, shapes, veins, and muscle that my heart races. I often, if on foot, will change direction just to see if what I'm seeing is actually what I'm seeing.



Clocking those legs on the tube only to find out they belong to the new girl in HR.

Cue not-so-chance encounters on a daily (sometimes thrice-daily) basis...

The ultimate ecstasy, or the ultimate torture?!

Kicking off 2018 properly with a week of Muscle in Public on FMS.

Any stories? Comment below or send to 6ft1swell@gmail.com

Enjoy!

The Year in Review: November/December

Found myself on compulsory temporary leave in November, which wasn't so bad - I needed a break. Rather upset about the identity of my replacement though, and the reprobate duly lived up to my expectations by stealing some of my notes to use as the theme of his most eloquent post. Most of the time November was about wanking to female muscle, as far as I can see. It is his declared hobby - I have a copy of his CV here - and the "friends" of his who also contributed seem to be into it just as much as he is.

NAUGHTY NOVEMBER

The (Mis)Adventures of C. Moore Glootz



We always had our tea around 6, so C. Moore whacked in a VHS around 5.55 and munched away on his fish fingers or whatever safe in the knowledge that later in the evening, once parents were safely tucked away in bed upstairs, he would be free to review, replay, rewind and frame advance at his leisure, with a pint of orange squash (fluids important, but that hardly qualifies as a top tip) and a box of mansize tissues.

Bum Bakhar BOOM!



Better to be alone with her and them. The garage makes me think of lube for some reason and just as I do my lube of choice starts leaking out. Polish the joy trumpet, make it glisten like her perfect skin sweaty after a hard gloot sesh. My (actual) head begins to tilt back in ecstasy, my eyes begin to roll, and my whole body starts to shake. Moaning, gasping, bucking, gooning, my prayer reaches an ecstatic climax...

Fan-tasy:
Two's Company, Three's A Crowd, But An FBB Plus Three Is So Heavenly
by Hot Beef



Back to her place. "I would invite you all in," she tells us as she unlocks her door and steps into her apartment, "but, you know, early morning cardio..." She steps out of her shoes. "I didn't get this body by staying up all night." Again, I feel no disappointment. It's been a privilege to spend this time with her, just to be in her presence. But it's not quite over yet. She slips out of her dress to reveal her beautiful naked body in all its magnificence. She hits a series of poses - arms, chest, thighs, abs... It's too much, overwhelming. I feel my legs trembling, my head spinning...

Fantasy: At Her Service
by Gym Slave



My absolute go-to clip is Tazzie Colomb, huge and sweaty and although she begins with a little top on, it doesn't last long. That gorgeous deep and sexy Southern accent, and lots of arrogant flexing to camera and for herself in the mirror. Towards the end of the clip she bench presses some serious weight for 20 reps (as I recall), topless, her pumping pecs glistening with sweat and swelling bigger and bigger. That would be the ultimate - to be there, hard and ready to do her bidding, to get my face between her legs and lap away, to be muscle f***ed unconscious as she rises from the bench totally fired up, dripping wet and ready to destroy the first hard cock she sees...

Natalia Brings Us Together



It was a "moment", many many joy trumpets sounding out more or less simultaneously as the contest photos go up. For a day or two at any given time there is a Natalia tribute happening somewhere in the world. For a day or two we (maybe not all of us, but the vast majority) are all looking at the same body.

Great Glootz of the 21st Century: Cathy



Some women achieve incredible contest glootage at maybe one or two shows in their competitive lives. Very few achieve it again and again in their career, and Cathy LeFrançois has arguably done it better than anyone for well over two decades.

Glootasm of the Week



And so we goon. Speaking becomes tricky. I would say we debated the various merits of these magnificent examples of womanly gloothood, but you hardly call my bud yelling "Zoa is FERRRRRRM bruvva!" and me yelling "Yeah but Michaela is HAAAAAAARD dude!" a debate as such, but the sheer physical pleasure (expressed in moans, in gasps, in animal yelps and bellows) flows through our bodies with beautiful intensity, and sharing the feeling takes it to a whole new level of ecstasy.

Fantasy: The Best Seats in the House
by musclejack



This being a fantasy, the women absolutely LOVE it. All our hard cocks lined up for them. They eyeball their victims, show them where they want it, hit the pose and BAM! another load flies stageward, another poor drooling muscle lover has to start all over again - we're all full of viagra or some such, so staying hard is no issue!

Glootz etc. @2017 IFBB Ferrigno Legacy Pro



Just outside the top 6 on the day, and runner-up in C. Moore's reaction rankings is Amanda Smith, who was making her pro debut (that's what the minions tell me anyway). Whatever. WOW! Minions also say she's fast-becoming a forum favourite over at the place where men pretend to be women in the chat room. Whatever.

Great Glootz of the 21st Century: Masterpieces



Horizontal, lateral and vertical size. C. Moore has measured a few pairs of cheeks with my special virtual measuring tool, and trust me, Heather's glootz went both wider, deeper, higher and further out than any before or since. MASSIVE meat.

NPC NATIONALS 2017

Swell returned for our annual review of the Nationals. It was good to be back.



Once again the Overall Bodybuilding champion came from outside the Heavyweight class. Fallon Brinson was a Physique competitor this time last year, and will be a Physique competitor next year, but by becoming a Light-heavyweight Bodybuilder for a day, she was able to earn her pro card. Switching up for the one show was the smart move. Fallon only had to beat one other Light-Heavyweight to get to the Overall posedown, and was one of a total of just 16 women in the Bodybuilding classes, compared to the 44 potential rivals she would have faced in Physique.




In the Figure division, we especially enjoyed phenoms Martina Harris (Overall winner); Capucine Leconte (Class "A" winner); Kessia Mirellys (Class "A" runner-up); and Debi Laszewski's girl, Brittany Miller (runner-up in the "D" class).



It was long overdue, so even if she would never have beaten her former self, news that Jennifer Kennedy - one of the best-reviewed of those FBBs who like to get up-close and personal with their fans - had been awarded her pro card was most welcome.



Kristina Nicole Mendoza and Carla Maria Bradley were our Beautiful Beasts from the Heavyweight Bodybuilding class. Inexplicably, neither made the top 3.




The standout division was, as always seems to be the case at these national level shows now, the Physique division. Far too many gorgeous, muscle sexy women to mention all of them - but the cream of the cream included Lauren Hanford - who had only decided to compete for the first time 17 weeks previously; Ashley Fuller with "a bit of the Susan-Marie Smith vibe about her"; the "must have been mighty close to taking the Overall" Rachael Chaskey; and Lisa Luettinger and her quads.

And finally, for that week, and for our look back at 2017 - Jacquelyn Hickerson.



She f***ing ruled! Happily, this was one of those all too rare occasions when the judges and my loins were in full agreement about the outcome. And obviously Jacquelyn felt like the right woman was going home with the trophy as well.

One more post to come before Christmas, our 2017 Women of the Year.