Hand Bras: Swell's Picks

Finally this week, a personal top three hand bras...

THE THIRD HAND


Swell digs this shot of Rhode Island's figure turned physique competitor Ariella Palumbo for all sorts of obvious reasons, but not least the massive double-take you do the first time you see it. Then, of course, there's all the questions it leaves you with. Questions like 'is the third hand male or female?' and 'where is their other hand exactly?' You can't find the answers to these questions on her website, nor on her Instagram page, but you can find lots of other lovely pictures of her there. And no, Dave Palumbo isn't her father. But he is going to be training her this year.


EVERY ANGLE COVERED


Backstage/pre-contest hand bras are always winners, but drop-dead gorgeous German bikini champ Ramona Valerie Alb deserves a special mention for this abstacular triptych. You can almost smell the protan. And there's lots more of FMS' favourite Cuban Jamaican Afro-American German cooking, training, and getting up to all sorts of energetic craziness on YouTube, Instagram and Facebook.


MMMARVELLOUS MMMAVI


I know I probably shouldn't be trying to unduly influence your own personal selections for the FMS Hot and Hard 100 with mmmouth-watering pictures of some of my favourite women while voting's still open, but really, if Mavi Gioia isn't one of the 100 hottest hard women in the world then my name's not 6ft1swell...
[er, it isn't though, is it? - ed.]

Hope you enjoyed Hand Bra Week. Normal service resumes tomorrow.

Muscletease: Home of the Hand Bra

Nowadays, hand bra selfies are two-a-penny, but in the early days of the internet, they were extremely rare. However, from about 2005, there was Muscletease. Its creator, female muscle photography legend Juan Carlos Lopez, made the style (in Muscletease-speak, 'implied topless') one of the trademarks of the site and through his work there and on his free online magazine Hardfitness, the hand bra made a mighty comeback.

Casey Brocato, 2008

As well as some of the more famous fitness and figure athletes like Tara Scotti or Mindi O'Brien, Muscletease featured many women that were new to this ex-member. I've chosen Casey Brocato, who competed in figure from 2008ish to 2010, as an example. A second place in her class at the 2010 NPC USAs was her highest finish and as far as I know she never turned pro. A word of warning if these images whet your appetite for more of her - there is now an over-35 MALE physique athlete with the same name. Refine your search if you want to avoid an unpleasant shock!

Heather Green, 2006

One of the most memorable sets from my first (of a few) times as a Muscletease member was this one of the mouth-watering figure competitor Heather Green, who turned pro the year after these were taken. Now competing in the WBFF physique division, you might want to reconnect with Heather via her Twitter.

Outfits: It is up to the model to bring her own clothing. Bring at least three different outfits you can use. Preference is swimsuits, skirts, gym wear, heels, contest suits. If you are in contest shape it is best to go with swimsuits mostly. Optionally I can provide swimsuits as well but they will be smaller and much sexier usually from Colleen Kelly Designs, DreamGirl, Wicked Temptations etc.
(Photoshoot information, Hardfitness)

Juliana Malacarne, 2007

With over 30 photo sets still listed there, Juliana must be one of the Muscletease's most photographed models, if not the most photographed. I'm pretty sure the site introduced me to Juliana, and if that were the only reason I had to be grateful to Juan Carlos Lopez, I wouldn't need another. For Juliana at least, the introduction of the physique division heralded the most successful period of her career so far, and now pushing 40 (if she isn't there already) La Malacarne seems, like a fine wine, to be getting better and better with age.

Karen Zaremba, 2005

This set of FMS Abs Queen Karen Zaremba ('Blue Bed' is its title, and there are five parts!) is, I suspect, as familiar to female muscle heads as any of the most renowned sets from WPW, HerBiceps or any other female muscle photo site you care to mention. The images will be 10 years old next year, but Lopez still uses these pics all over Muscletease and Hardfitness as examples of his work, and I don't blame him. Classic stuff. What was I saying about iconic female muscle photography the other day...?

As well as on Muscletease and Hardfitness, you can keep up with the work of Juan Carlos Lopez via Twitter, and the Hardfitness Facebook page.

Enjoy!

Aleesha's Problem

Or, 'Some Girls Are Bigger Than Others'

I don't think I can hold this hand bra much longer. What if...?


Success!


... That's better!

Horizontal Hand Bras

And the memories...



Kris Murrell, who appeared in the Adam Sandler comedy Grown Ups 2 last year, and was last seen as a competitor in 2012 when she made her physique debut and looked like half the woman she once was - literally - in her NPC Nationals winning pomp of 2009, which is how, if you don't mind, FMS would like to remember her...



And an FMS all-time fave, Dr Sexy herself, Dena Westerfield, now sadly missing in action (well, working in a professional capacity at her clinic rather than competitively bodybuilding) in a shot that still grabs the attention despite the passing years and the fact that Dena often used to wear only a little more than a hand bra in the majority of her photo and video shoots. Female muscle gold!

Enjoy!

Christal Cornick's Hand Bra 101

Given the events I described on Friday (Image Removed Copyright Violation) I feel that I should say straight off that today's post is entirely A WORK OF FICTION, a bit of fun and nothing more, and that Christal Cornick had absolutely NOTHING to do with it. Is everybody clear on that? Good. Let's begin...

One of the rising stars of British female bodybuilding, Christal Cornick is not only a four-time regional bodybuilding champion but has also finished 3rd at the UKBFF British Championships in each of the last three years.

Really don't wanna put clothes on today!! But I guess going to the shops naked would get me in trouble. LOL xCx
— Christal Cornick (@ChristalFBB) December 14, 2013

And she seems to enjoy the skin she's in. But other than being the owner of a Twitter account that'll send your pulse sky high, Christal Cornick is also one of the world's leading female muscle hand bra posing experts, and, by her own admission, often performs hand bra poses even when it's totally unnecessary.

I go naked so often, she says, I sometimes forget I'm actually wearing something!!! With, as you can see below, hilarious results in all sorts of incongruous places...



So, FMS is downright delighted Christal is helping us out in our Hand Bra Week, with her own little guide to some of the less common hand bra poses. Now pay attention.

1. THE FOLDED ARMS HAND BRA


Christal says: Modesty is not exactly my forte, but false modesty is quite another thing. This variation on the hand bra comes in useful, for example, when I walk into the weights area topless 'by accident' and then, after all the boys (and girls) are staring, I fold my arms, feign surprise, give one or two cuties a knowing wink, and then head back into the changing room to put a tiny top on!

And it can also come in useful when entertaining some lucky fella.

I sit him down, make him wait a bit and then re-enter the room wearing nothing but a tight little pair of shorts and my folded arms hand bra. When my chest is right in front of his face, it's off with the hand bra! Assuming he doesn't pass out at that point (it happens) it's the perfect moment to grab his head and bury it into my granite pecs. I've broken some noses in my time with that move!

2. THE ONE-ARM HAND BRA


Christal says: The best thing about the one-arm is that it leaves your other arm free to do whatever, so there are endless variations. I call this particular one 'The Teapot'.

Ah, yes, it's like the handle! Wow, great obliques. Great veins on that forearm, Christal. And, wow, I like your bicep and shoulder too. Wow, actually I really really really like that shoulder. And those shorts look like they are rather snug. Are they?

Oh, you wouldn't believe! But do you see how 'The Teapot' drew your attention away from my perfect pecs, allowing you to take in some of my other perfect parts? And having that free arm makes this absolutely the best hand bra pose when the postman turns up with something that needs signing for. Let me tell you, delivering to Christal is such a treat that the postmen at my local depot have started holding an auction to see who gets to do the round that includes my house. How cool is that?

Very. And last, but certainly not least...

3. THE SIDE CHEST HAND BRA


Christal says: In a perfect world, this would be a mandatory pose.

But it is a mandatory pose, isn't it?

I mean exactly like this.

Damn!

I have spent years sculpting every inch of my body. Why shouldn't I display all of it? Would you tell a sculptor who'd carved a nude to stick a posing suit on it before you opened the gallery doors to the public? Of course you wouldn't! That would be ridiculous. Well, why do I, a living sculpture, have to do just that?

[At which point FMS was left so utterly speechless that we agreed it would be best if the interview was terminated. Quite honestly, since then, I've seen the world Christal imagines every night when I close my eyes. And I like it.]

Many many thanks to Christal for her unique and informative hand bra insight, and we sincerely hope that 2014 will be the year when she goes not just one, but two better, and claims the British title that she deserves. Even if it has to be done in a posing suit!

Enjoy!

Hand Bra History

A somewhat more humorous than most Wikipedia entry tells us the hand bra was an uncommon and unnecessary pose in early 20th century European and American pin-up postcard media because toplessness and nudity were common. It's heyday, according to the article, was from about 1930, after bare breasts become repressed in mainstream media, until the early 1960s, when bare breasts became a common occurrence in pin-up literature.



However, hand bras made a comeback towards the end of the century in the mainstream media, thanks to the so-called 'lad mags', that, the Wiki author tells us prominently feature photos of scantily clad B-actresses and models, and which avoid topless and nude glamour photography.



The article then brings us up-to-date with the popularity of the hand bra pose on magazine covers like the famous Rolling Stone image of Janet Jackson where the hand bra is somebody else's hands, and the 1994 Playboy cover featuring Ronald 'The Great Communicator' Reagan's daughter, Patti Davis.



And the article ends with news that you can now buy your own hand bra, the hand bra parody bra, as worn by Lady Gaga in the video for her 2013 'Applause'.



Well, at least the first bit was kind of interesting...

Enjoy the pictures anyway!

Our models (that I know) today were Elena Panova (top), major Swell crush of the moment Brooke Black (with camera, second row right), beautiful Zsuzsanna Toldi (in black and white and in colour), and finally Karina Akmens (bottom).
IDs on the other two would be appreciated.

Hand Bras

This week, FMS returns to the familiar format of seven posts with a single theme.



Hands up anyone who doesn't like a hand bra on their muscle woman?

OK, you can put your hands above the table again. I don't expect too many hands went up there. I mean, what's not to like? Seems to me it's a similar deal to the 'maximum muscle minimum clothing' image. You get to see all the muscle, and there's just a little bit denied to you, and it's that little bit you can't see that turns the eroticism up to 11 by sending your female muscle lovin' imagination into overdrive.



I guess the first 'hand bras' I would have ever seen were in the muscle mags of my teenage years. I certainly remember the shot of Paula Bircumshaw (right), although I seem to remember it as a whole page photo rather than as it is here with text. In the muscle mags, hand bras were about as racy as it was ever going to get, as it ever could get, so each one was a pretty big event in Swell's teenage bedroom as I recall!




Nowadays, you can get to see it all as often as you like - don't get me wrong, I like a shot of a topless or naked muscle woman as much as any of the female muscle lovin' brethren do, as long as there hasn't been a plastic surgery disaster, of course - but still, the tease of the hand bra always has that extra special something.




So, you lucky people, it's not quite topless muscle beauties all week.

Enjoy!