10 Years at the Arnold Classic: 2009

NORMAL SERVICE IS RESUMED...



No 'bumps', no 'distortions'. Or at least none that the judges took offence to anyway. Iris Kyle became Ms International for the 4th time at the 2009 Arnold Classic.

BUT HOW DIFFERENT IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN



Iris' physique was, for me (and I know nothing), at its most epic at that show. If ever she looked like she ruled as she did, it was then. But at the same time I'm looking at the women who she beat that day (and pretty much every other day too), and I can't help wondering, what if...? What if runner-up Debi Laszewski or 4th place Heather Policky had got the nod that day? What if Yaxeni - who placed 3rd but for my money looked miles ahead of her 2008 Ms International self - had defended her title?



When the perceived foregone conclusion was always, without exception, realised, all but the biggest Iris fans simply got bored. Would it have made a difference to what was about to happen to pro Female Bodybuilding if the Ms International had started to crown different winners? Debi went on trying for years after this, but for Heather this was the penultimate show. She could have won here, she could have won the Olympia.



Would she have continued if she'd won either? Would it have given the division the shot in the arm (if you'll excuse the expression) it so badly needed? Would it merely have meant a year or two extra at the Arnolds before it was axed, or would it have made absolutely no difference at all? One thing it might have done is to have given the Ms International an identity distinct from the Olympia. But it never happened.



Iris had become, to all intents and purposes, invincible.

BIKINI BOW



No pro Bikini division, but for the first time Bikini at the Arnold Amateur. There were two classes: Gia Allemand (left) won the A class, Ali Sonoma the B. I guessed Ali won the Overall "posedown" between the two. And believe it or not, I guessed right.

Sarcasm aside, this meant that in the pro show there were three different female classes (BB, Figure, Fitness) and in the Amateur show four. For the men, on the other hand, there was just one choice whether pro or amateur - Bodybuilding. Compare that to now with the 212 and the Classic Physique and Physique and they've probably thrown another one in by now as well and called it Model Physique or something. This is definitely one of the stories of the last ten years (at the Arnolds and elsewhere), albeit one we are less interested in - more choice for the boys, much the same for the ladies.

WHERE WERE THEY THEN?

NICOLE WILKINS - Fitness (8th)



JULIANA MALACARNE - Figure (13th)
HEATHER GRACE - Amateur Figure D (2nd)



I think it's safe to say that in both cases improvements have been made!

Note the one-piece is still in effect.

AUTUMN EDWARDS (now SWANSEN) - Amateur Fitness C (Winner)



As above, improvements have been made!

YES, YES, BRING ON THE AMATEURS!



There was quality on display in every class in the Female Bodybuilding division at the Amateur show. Tellingly though, little of that quality went on to bigger and better things, and apart from one notable exception - Rita Bello (above) - none of these magnificent women are competing as FBBs anymore if they are competing at all.



In what we now realise was her customary mind-boggling, groin-activating shape, Rita won the Heavyweight class that year. She needed to be that good to leave gorgeous Geraldine Morgan (3rd, now a consistently unsuccessful Physique competitor) and the much-missed-in-my-house runner-up Alevtina Goroshinskaya in her wake.



Rita was joined in the Overall posedown by the Blonde Bomber herself, Lightweight class winner Johanna Dejager - and I would bet that guy whose head is obscuring your view probably still replays in his head what his front row seat allowed him to see multiple times per day. He'd be rich if it were possible to make videos of memories...



Meanwhile, among the Middleweights, 2008 Lightweight winner Joanne Stewart looked like she'd found an even finer razor with which to sharpen her conditioning but only finished 3rd, one place ahead of Finnish behemoth Salla Kaurenen.



The Middleweight and (I imagine slightly controversial given Rita's impression of a living anatomy chart) Overall winner was the undeniably gifted Elena Shportun. Seriously, if that guy could put his memories on film, he'd be minted for life!

BRITISH INTEREST?

Still a negative on that, I'm afraid.

Great Glootz of the 21st Century: Masterpieces

With apologies to Lora, and to Monica, Laura, Gracyanne and Debi (especially Debi, she was a striation away from making the Top 5), and to countless NABBA goddesses and their thongasmic displays of ripped glootage... Who else could it possibly be?!



Horizontal, lateral and vertical size. C. Moore has measured a few pairs of cheeks with my special virtual measuring tool, and trust me, Heather's glootz went both wider, deeper, higher and further out than any before or since. Massive MASSIVE meat.



You could - literally - rest your beer on them. (Although I imagine, if you were in a position to do so - the use of the Policky (I refuse to say any other name) masterpieces as an ad hoc table would be pretty much the furthest thing from your mind.)



Let's not waste any more time and go straight to the treat - here.

In total control of her muscles... and me!




Before Alina, she was the Great Uncrowned Queen of Female Bodybuilding.

Well, uncrowned no more.



Queen of Glootz!

Oh Heather...

Thighs of the Day: Legendary II

I do like to save the best for last. So to end our week of thighs here at FMS, the best pair of thighs ever. That’s just my opinion, but I doubt I’m alone in that opinion. These thighs belong, of course, to Heather Policky.

[Regular readers will know how I feel about my favourite female bodybuilders getting married. Happy for them, of course, (he said through gritted teeth) but I’m not about to start using her married name. It not only screws up my filing system, it also means I have to change it back when the marriage (sadly) doesn’t work out.]

Anyway, back to the point. Heather was never all about the legs. She may have been good enough to win the Olympia (and may be good enough yet), an overall package combining beauty, muscular development, charisma and that little bit of je ne sais quoi, but those legs were other-wordly. I’m not just talking about their size, but their perfect shape too. Mass and aesthetics. The holy grail. Heavenly. Legendary.

Like I said, with Heather it’s never just about the legs. Those lips, that look of confidence. See how her lats balloon outwards. There’s pecs and abs to admire as well. But in the end you just have to look down. On tiptoe, her thighs explode out of her tight black shorts.

On stage, how many hearts have skipped a beat as hands on hips she extends one leg? She’s going to shake it… she’s going to shake it! Then she does, and then bam! It’s flexed and those beautiful cuts and striations take your breath away.

Now that is a woman! I’ve always wondered just how on earth she got those trousers on. Must have had help. Must have had a queue of helpers. Still it must have taken a while. Off was probably easier. Each pair strictly a one-time deal. Pull them on, wear them, then let those muscles do the ripping when it’s time to get undressed.

And when she’s changed into something more comfortable, there are those thighs in all their glory. No curves on muscular women, he said. Oh really! Dude, look again and tell me just where the straight lines are.

I think this is just about my favourite set of Heather (until I change my mind again). There are muscles everywhere, and delicious tanned, rippling, defined muscles at that. Frankly, she looks bullet-proof. A super-heroine made flesh. And she knows it, doesn't she? Check out that smile.

Her incredible body outdoors in the wet, in heels and lingerie. Sounds like a recipe for a good set of images, and surprise surprise, it totally works, and in no small part because she is really giving it the full foxiness. Again, no curves?! Are you blind?!

I remember seeing an interview with her where she claimed not to train her legs. Hard to believe now, especially rediscovering this photo. Maybe she meant she wasn’t training legs at that time, but she clearly was when this snap was taken. Possibly the juiciest-looking things you will ever see.

Is it the natural sunlight, a bit of photomanipulation? Or was her body really this shredded when this image and its accompanying set were taken? I like to believe the latter, naturally. I like to believe that once upon a time, for a few hours at least, her thighs really did look like this. Truly legendary.

And in case you didn’t know, Heather Policky is on the comeback trail. And there can be little doubt that for now at least, she’s training those bad boys…



If you want her life story, she has a fairly long entry (for a female bodybuilder) at Wikipedia. There are a couple of interviews you might like: one on Bodybuilding.com fairly early in her career, and another at Muscleweek.com from last year that will bring you pretty much up-to-date with all things Heather. And there’s her blog, which, despite not being updated since last August (and updated only irregularly before that), is still well-worth a read. She’s not a woman to mince her words or pretend she isn’t a sexual being.

Hope you have enjoyed this week’s posts as much as I’ve enjoyed putting them together. Female Muscle Slave will be on sabbatical for the next week (unfortunately not with Heather), but will return on 23rd March.

And talking of legendary, FMS recommends PumpItUp for your daily muscle fix, a blog that has been going since 2006. So he must be doing something right!

See you in a week!