Gymnastic Fantastic

Lack of posting recently due to relocation to the countryside and the consequent job hunting. Things are more settled now, so watch out for more of my wit/insanity and highlights from my collection of muscular women on a regular basis again. As always, feel free to get in touch at 6ft1swell@gmail.com. Thanks to everyone who’s bothered commenting while I’ve been out of action. I’ll be in touch!

So, I’m back with some bendy, strong, athletic women to stimulate your imagination (and maybe other parts of your body too).


This sexy lady’s boyfriend says The hardest thing about having a girlfriend who will literally bend over backwards for you is choosing which side to approach from. Well, buddy, if you are finding it all too much, I’m sure there won’t be a shortage of guys willing to bear the hardship of being with this flexy babe. Seriously though, Female Muscle Slave advises Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays from one end, and Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays from the other. And on Sundays cook her lunch and give her a massage.


This lady is now banned from her local gym after causing serious injuries when posing for this picture. Every man in the gym just stopped what they were doing and gawped at her. One guy dropped a barbell and broke his fitness instructor’s foot, another brained his training partner by letting go of a cable, and two more guys fell off their running machines and suffered cuts and bruises. She rather likes the effect she has, I think. Look at those eyes and that smile – she knows.


Recently I have been dreaming of a team of kick-ass Asian babe bodyguards to look after me. Auditions were held (in my head!) and these two power hotties made the team. I feel very very safe knowing they are always close by in their tiny tops and tight little hot pants, ready to kick anybody who messes with me into orbit. It’s doing wonders for my self-confidence.


Examples of the kind of strength, balance and flexibility that sets some women apart from your average girl. Having been fortunate enough to spend quality time with an ex-gymnast a few years ago, I can say (from experience, not my head this time) that moves like these are the tip of the iceberg. Even my fertile (and slightly sordid) imagination couldn’t have dreamt up some of the positions that Ms S pulled on me. Great days, great memories.

Alevtyna Titarenko

Every guy on that beach is thinking the same thing…


Great legs, amazing balance and some serious strength. If you’re in doubt as to how much effort this takes, then try it yourself. At your own risk.


A topless handstand gets a fly-by. And why not? Perhaps this was what Captain Schettino was trying to catch a glimpse of when he altered his ship’s course?

Anything you can do…

It’s not just fitness babes who can get into sexy flexy positions. Beautiful bodybuilders Lyris Capelle, Oana Hreapca and Nataliya Romashko demonstrate that big muscles and the splits are not mutually exclusive. Heavenly.


If you’ve been missing yoga classes, this bendy Asian groin-activator should get you back to the mat quick snap. Now, what is this position called? Suggestions please!

And finally…

I’m not going to bother writing anything here. I’ll let your imagination do the rest. You don’t have to be muscular to turn Slave on, but it sure helps if you can get into this position. And keep your heels on while doing so. Phwoar!

Enjoy!

Biception

There are a lot of different dogs in the world, but when someone says the word ‘dog’, we all have a general idea of what they mean because we all share a general idea of what all dog have in common. In philosophy, this general idea is a concept.

Now, I think we can all agree that there are definitely not enough women in the world who have well-developed biceps. Seeing them in real life is such a rare occurrence for me that I am forced to scour the internet for them! This rarity has an effect on the general idea, the concept, of what biceps on a woman looks like.



Now, me and you, when we think of female biceps, might imagine those displayed by Sarah Hayes above, or maybe Birgita’s magnificent pair. We might just as well imagine Nataliya Romashko’s works in progress, or [name removed by request] flexing both barrels as she opens the door to welcome us to her home for a night of muscle worship. This is our concept of a female bicep. Our bicept.

[image removed by request]

But the others, those cursed with an aversion to muscular women, or those that simply don’t scour the internet for images of them, where does their biception come from?

Today I overheard a conversation while I was tucking into my green curry at Greenwich Market. Two women were talking about a mutual friend and how big her biceps were getting. They weren’t being negative, just incredulous that this friend seemed to like showing off her big arms.

Apart from thoughts of getting to know the women at the next table so I could get to see their friend showing off her arms, images started to spring to mind. Images of women with big arms. Images that reflect my bicept. Images like this one of the gorgeous Lyris Capelle.



They mentioned her fiancée (Curses! Foiled again!) and suddenly something like this flashed through my mind.



‘Too big’, I found myself thinking. This was, after all, the real world. They couldn’t be that big. Big for most people is something like this.


I’m not complaining by the way, I think they are just lovely, and I’d be proud to rub oil into either one. Or both if absolutely necessary

But then I really did come back to the real world. One of the women said ‘If she keeps going like this, she’ll be like Cameron Diaz.’ What?! As big as Cameron’s?! And not even yet, but at some point in the future ‘if she keeps going like this’?!

The general bicept, therefore, seems to be that Cameron Diaz has huge arms for a woman, whereas our group bicept is something quite different..

I wish I could have opened up the laptop and given them a taste of Alina Popa fully-pumped, Heather Policky (what would they have said about her legs?!) or Danielle Gardner, who has just slammed the door, flexed her arms and told you that she isn’t going to let you out till she’s finished with you.



If I’d shown them Carla Rossi (one bigger than the other, but both far far bigger than Cameron Diaz’s) or Amanda Micka’s big round baseballs, would it have altered their bicept forever?



Some people think it would have. And have set up a scheme whereby other women’s bicept can be re-aligned. Female bodybuilders visit women’s groups, show off their guns, and as a result, the next time one of their friend’s has arms that could maybe one day rival Cameron Diaz’s, they don’t express surprise at how big they are and get me all excited, waste my valuable Christmas shopping time, only to kill all my hopes because of their faulty, and no, I don’t think that’s too strong a word, faulty concept of what a female bicep is.

Rebecca Armstrong is seen here at one of these bicept re-alignment events. She seems to be enjoying it a little more than the other women present, doesn’t she? It’s never nice to find out you’ve been getting it all wrong. And there’s nothing better than being the one to tell them!



Enjoy!