(More) Summer Lovin': Dressed to Impress

I see the girls go by dressed in their summer clothes...



Except none of them ever look like this!









Dressed up muscle is just about - after glammed, tanned and oiled on stage muscle - my favourite thing. Not so much because of the obvious masculine (muscles) v feminine (style) juxtaposition, more I think because they just look so damn amazing. Women who don't lift can look good if they know how to accentuate their assets and cover up their faults. Women with muscle, however, look great whatever they're wearing because their entire physique is one great big asset and they literally have no faults.



Muscle women can expose as much - or indeed as little - of their beautiful bodies as they wish. Often, and quite understandably, they wish to expose a lot. Particularly beloved of female muscle heads are outfits you can see the muscle through, and for me, abdominals straining against tight fabric is the hottest hard thing of all.



Pity the women who have to grin and bear it while a glamorous muscle goddess sucks all the air out of the room and gets all the attention. If you don't want to be completely upstaged, on no account should you invite a Paige or a Marjorie to your wedding...





Ooops! Too late.

At the time of the pic, Paige's friend was still managing a smile. I do though wonder how long that lasted. Marjorie looks like she knows how her dress is going to go down at the reception. And that raised eyebrow tells me that's exactly the way she likes it.



And Paige's and Marjorie's outfits are relatively modest. Nothing see-through...



And they expose the upper but not the lower body, not both.



The fact Samantha Frost (above) has chosen to preview her dress in the gym seems to be really rubbing it in. You know how good I looked in my leggings and vest, sweating and groaning as I powered through my workout, all the boys drooling all over the place. Well look at me after my shower, glammed and dressed to impress...

Or at least that's what I imagine she's thinking!



To be the man who helps Audreana Cornilissen with her dress choice!

Does my back look big in this?

Massive, darling, but why not try that tighter, shorter one again?





Even bigger beasts are on the way, but first, proof that despite my assertion at the top of the post, muscle women can make mistakes when it comes to their outfits.



You could, as Lauren Finley clearly has done, incur the wrath of the undisputed undefeated Ms Physique Olympia and wear a slightly too-similar outfit to the party.



Or, like Suzanne Davis, you might make a slight size miscalculation.

Although to be honest, the thought of being at a party where you can witness the sight of a muscle women literally bursting out of her clothes is not an unpleasant one.

And so to the big beasts...

I honestly tried to find recent dressed up pics of as many Rising Phoenix qualifiers as possible. Know how many I actually found - recent ones? Just these two.



The ever dependable Ms Martin.



And Virginia, busting out everywhere.

What a sight!

Enjoy!

(More) Summer Lovin': Michaela's Mind

Just on the off chance you were in the mood for a bit more Physique freakery...



Erotic and genuinely disturbing in equal measure (which makes her even more erotic, the will to go to such extremes and revel in doing so!) is what I say. You say, among other things, that she is "amazing", and "awesome", and that "she's on another level now". That you look at this picture and all you can think is "I love muscle women! WOW!!!", and that "even a train would stop to look at that". "Look how happy you are!" exclaims one of Michaela's Instagram devotees. Exactly my point. What woman in their right mind would get so much pleasure from being so disgustingly muscular?!

Our kind of woman.

Enjoy!

(More) Summer Lovin': FBBUK : Hard All Over (Hayley Brylewski Turns Pro)

This is what Hayley's leg looked like the night before at "bedtime". How you sleep when your veins are poppin' out of your skin I know not - guess there is the exhaustion from depletion, but wouldn't you spend the whole night just looking at your freaky self?!

Maybe touching...



The next day - show day - and Hayley has a cheeky abs check in the hotel lift before breakfast. I wonder if she got her trousers back up and her jacket closed before the door opened? Wonder if she even bothered. Perhaps she just sauntered into the buffet with clothing arranged exactly like that, a treat for the early birds in the dining room.



She had, even by her own gnarly standards, been looking particularly hard in the lead-up to her show - her glutes in particular. As last weekend approached, she proudly displayed them in the gym (left), and by the time she'd arrived at the hotel (right), they seemed to have become harder still. I was reminded of her fellow Brit Corinne Ingman, and when it comes to peeled glutes, there is no greater praise than that.



I've thought about this long and hard, and I really would give up a body part to be the guy who gets to take the photo of Hayley lounging on the bed in her sparkly purple posing suit. I might even be prepared to give up a limb just as long as that guy is also the guy who can go back to worshipping (with body parts of his own choosing) those delicious walnuts right after he's posted said pic to her Instagram for her.



Anyway!

The contest Hayley was getting (as Corinne herself puts it) "truly, disgustingly peeled" for was something called the Ben Weider Worldwide Classic British Championships Pro Qualifier, and, as befits a contest with such a magnificent name, it was held in...

Coventry.



It is one of a series of shows "worldwide" - clue is in the name! - designed to make new pros. There's been one in Rimini, and after the Olympia there's another in Alicante... OK, so maybe not "worldwide" yet, but the concept is still young. The number of contestants vying for the coveted pro card hasn't been massive either. As in Rimini so in Coventry - just two Physique ladies: Hayley plus (also from the UK) Sandi Griffin.



Hayley got the nod, and the big red envelope.


Hayley, with big red envelope (and sword) and Jenna Beckworth

I’ve competed with Hayley for many years, Corinne wrote by way of congratulation. A genuine person with a lovely heart. FMS too, is genuinely delighted to be reporting one of the nicest, most down-to-earth UK Physique Dreams' dream has come true. Perhaps, as Corinne adds, Hayley has "set the tone" for more British Physique success. @linnyg_walnut [Linda Gartside] is up next, predicts Corinne. Then myself.

Amen to that.

Check out FitVids preview of their latest work with Hayley.

Enjoy!

(More) Summer Lovin': Summer of Ashley

Last seen on stage at the Tampa Pro, Ashley Hromyak clearly knows how to do summer - between the sets, obviously, her Tampa package probably her best ever.

She rides an inflatable unicorn...



And she LOVES paddleboarding...



I do like the way she grips the shaft of that paddle...




[enough! - ed.]

Killjoy.



Ashley on Instagram

Enjoy!

Sunday at Sea

Imagine...

The wife has been waving cruise brochures in front of your face for years, but never managed to get you on the boat. This year, however, she just went and booked it.

Four weeks of it. Your Christmas "present".

You set sail in August, but have felt nauseous since February.

But as you arrive at the port - with a month's worth of travel sickness pills - the radar goes off like it's never gone off before. Muscle to starboard (or is it port?), and from where you are she looks HUGE! You try - and fail - not to stare. She's right there, tight shorts, loose vest and OMG she's only bloody POSING in front of the boat.



And OMG it IS her. It's KATIE LEE!!!

Katie (really) did take a well-earned break for a Caribbean cruise with friends recently - Dominican Republic, Honduras, etc. And I can't help wondering how many of her fellow passengers spent days and nights desperately manoeuvring themselves and their significant others into parts of the boat where Katie & Co. were while at the same time (and equally desperately) trying to cover up a tentpole the size of an oar...



The more successful our voyaging female muscle heads were at that - and at stalking the gorgeous Katie during stop-offs - probably had a knock-on effect on the vigour, and frequency, with which their significant other got the "benefit" of that tentpole.



Net result - your wife's now under the impression that if she wants a "romantic" holiday, then taking you on a cruise is the only way to go. "He's never like this when we do a city break," she says to herself after yet another (vigorous) pre-dinner (post-Katie-stalking) cabin romp. "Think I'll pre-book next year before we disembark."



The "Allure of the Seas", eh?

More Katie, including more Katie on vacation, on her Instagram.

Woman of the Week: Amanda Machado

Every time I lift it's just as intense and spiritual as the best night of sex I ever had.
Amanda Machado



The first sight of Amanda Machado we can remember was late last year. She wasn't, as you can see above, wearing much more than a coat of Protan. Oh, how we swooned!



Turns out, however, that Amanda doesn't have to wearing nothing to have her effect on us. Fully-clothed will do equally as well. Now perhaps that's because we know, and she knows we know - note the smirk, you'll be seeing a lot of that - what's underneath that classy outfit, but also because of what we she wants us to read while we look at her smirking in her suit: I just love bossy women, she writes. I could be around them all day. To me, "bossy" is not a pejorative term at all. It means somebody's passionate and engaged and ambitious - willing to do all it takes to learn and grow.

We swoon again. She's so ALPHA!



Since trailblazers Larissa Reis and Monica Martin left home and relocated to the US, there's been a steady stream of Brazilian muscle women who have followed in their thundersteps. Amanda has been in the US for seventeen years, and - so far - she's one of the more successful, not just in the sport, but also - unsurprisingly - in life as well.



Having settled in Los Angeles, she's a manager at Otium - a restaurant whose dishes have "elegant rusticity", according to their website. A classy place, worthy of Amanda - until she outgrows it anyway. She reads books like Conscious Capitalism, she goes to the opera, and she's currently developing her own thing - Mind of Athletes, though I have to admit exactly what her mission is with it is ever so slightly beyond me.



AND she has a physique to die for.

To be frank, I've decided that the only thing preventing Amanda from being my perfect woman is her location relative to me, and I'm devising a plan to rectify that by firstly retraining as a chef, opening my own (acclaimed) restaurant, and then moving heaven and earth to tempt her to manage it. (I was joking when I started that sentence but now I've finished it I'm rather curious how feasible that actually is.)



Bodybuilding is not my life, says Amanda. It is part of my life. And as [with] everything I commit to do; it has to be consistent, challenging, rewarding, and fun.



Since she started competing in the US last year, she's done three shows and won three times. She won her class at the NPC Ferrigno Legacy Championships last November, and won again at the MuscleContest Excalibur the following month. Her goal for 2018 was a pro card, though of course - this is Amanda Machado - it went a bit deeper than that: The professional card is symbolic, she explains. The idea here is not only to achieve professional level status, but to take the body and mind to such an extreme of discipline and dedication that I can achieve anything I set my mind on.



As if these Alpha brasileiras needed any help, the NPC are now bringing the pro cards to them! And for her first contest of 2018, Amanda's mind was set on a return to her homeland - check it out, on top of everything else she's the coolest/hottest vaqueira imaginable! - and last weekend's NPC MuscleContest Brazil pro qualifier in São Paulo.




It may not surprise you to hear - given all we've learned about Amanda today - that she is now an IFBB pro. Just another step on her road to total world domination.



Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'm about to swoon all over the place.

Get your own on here and with Amanda's (intense) Instagram. Divertir-se!