Woman vs Food: She Eats

I sometimes wonder whether female bodybuilders become female bodybuilders just so they can eat like a female bodybuilder. It seems no other women on the planet outside the catering industry itself spend as much time thinking, talking or writing about food as female bodybuilders do. And when they're not doing that they're cooking it.



And eating. Even my wife's woefully obese former colleague (the kind of woman who seeps under the armrest when she's sitting next to you on a plane) doesn't eat as much as a female bodybuilder does - and trust me, this woman eats a LOT.



But on top of that, female bodybuilders fantasise about food. A comfort eater like my wife's fat friend has fantasies too, but whereas she satisfies her cravings as soon as she can, the female bodybuilder has to be disciplined about it. And it's in that waiting time - counting down the hours to the next cheat meal, or (most disciplined of all) dieting before competition - that their cravings reach levels no comfort eater has ever abstained long enough to experience. Consequently - when it's time for her cheat meal, or when the competition is over - satisfying that craving is, well, rather satisfying.



And the more pleasurable the food seems, the more the female bodybuilder's subconscious associates food with pleasure, and so it continues. Lots of eating, a little cheating, extreme dieting, and then the reward of whole right side of the menu.



Do I know what I'm talking about? Of course I don't! But one look at Jodi Boam's reaction to that somewhat humble burger and chips and you know I'm right. Have you ever seen a woman look so happy, so ecstatic to be eating something so simple? I wouldn't be at all surprised if she's having a full-on foodgasm right there, the smell of it alone setting off joyful KA-BOAMs big and small that are spreading all over her beautiful, peaking body... Have another look. A good look. Don't you see that?



So does food hold the key to the female bodybuilder's heart? Perhaps it does. Cook me food, buy me food, bring me food or BE food is what they say. But we actually do have evidence in this clip starring Rene Campbell that - even if you won't necessarily win her heart - being prepared to carry her shopping and having a few skills in the kitchen will, at the very least, buy you some time with a female bodybuilder.



I doubt Rene shares her "soup gone a bit wrong", which is even better news for the dude who measures her cabbage. I doubt any female bodybuilders share. With all that attention they pay to what they eat (or, in Rene's case, drink) and how much of it they eat (or drink), nicking something off her plate is, I imagine, very verboten.



Go ahead, she's saying. Make my day.



We're gonna need a bigger kitchen...



Dry cereal?! For me?! I LOVE you!!!



Woman vs Food all week on FMS.

Enjoy!

FBBUK: Rene Goes Public (FMS Stays Private)

When was the last time female muscle fans were in the mainstream media?

As far as the UK is concerned, the last time I can recall was the rather infamous segment of Louis Theroux's Weird Weekends when the eponymous presenter meets a few at the Jan Tana, as well as Maria Calo and her (then?) husband.

Since then, Brian Eno has said he likes a muscular woman (see FMS passim), but I really can't remember another instance - and please to tell me if I'm wrong - where us fans of female bodybuilding have been given either airtime or column inches.

But a couple of weeks ago, FBB fans found themselves in the very mainstream UK magazine Closer as part of a story about the ever-beautiful Rene Campbell.



Strangers love my muscles and beg me to marry them! it reads on the front cover.

Inside, under the headline: Bodybuilding Mum: "Men think my muscles are sexy – strangers ask to marry me!", we learn that Bigorexic Rene Campbell says she gets more attention from men as a bodybuilder than when she was a petite size eight.

There's Rene, NUDE! And only her tastefully positioned legs and well-placed arm preventing that week's Closer from having to be displayed on the topmost shelf.

Her muscles, the story continues, have made her an unlikely sex symbol with thousands of men viewing her pictures online everyday. Well, OK. I, and I dare say you, dear reader, may have been guilty of a bit of that. But there's more...

Rene, 37, has had more than 10 marriage proposals from strangers and last Valentine's Day received several bouquets of flowers from secret admirers. "Men tell me I’m sexy and I’ve had marriage proposals from guys all over the world."

Really?

I've been writing this blog a while now, and as a result I've had the pleasure of contact with a number of fellow female muscle fans from both the UK and elsewhere. Now, I wouldn't say that all of them are exactly what you'd call "normal" (who among us is?) but they are most certainly not in the business of asking Rene Campbell - or any of their favourite female bodybuilders for that matter - to marry them.

So, who the hell are these guys, these poor souls who, without any hint of irony, write forum posts like 'If only Aleesha Young were single...'? Who are they and why do they get all the attention? Why isn't Closer writing about professional men in their late 30s, not at all the kind of timid, skinny live-with-mother types some would paint all female muscle fans as. They're moderately successful, they're property-owning, educated, eloquent guys who just happen to have a thing for muscular women...

Well, I have a confession to make.

I had the opportunity to talk to a journalist from Closer and I didn't take it.

Now, unlike the marry-me-Rene brigade, I am not deluded - well, not as deluded at least. I'm not saying it would have changed anything about the Rene story, nor that Closer would have been interested in what I have to say and published 'my' story instead or as well as Rene's. If I'd made out I was a proposal maker or bouquet sender then maybe - maybe - I'd have had a little quote in there somewhere.

In fact, I procrastinated for some time after I was contacted (not by the magazine, note, but by an intermediary), and let the moment pass. Now I somewhat regret that the opportunity to represent the silent majority of female muscle fans, to paint an alternative picture of us, has gone, but, though tempted, being the spokesperson for the entire female muscle lovin' brethren is not something I would want to be.



But anyway, about Rene.

Seems she's on a bit of a publicity mission. Not only has she got her name (and naked body, remember) in mainstream print, but she also made an appearance, in late November, on The X-Factor (about as mainstream and prime time a TV show as you are ever going to get) as part of a backing act for one of the performances.

And Rene has starred in a music video as well. I mean, really starred.

The Closer story then (new pictures of Rene and bonus clip of her working out all pumped up aside), not really worth the read. The X-Factor appearance (aside from Rene's own Facebook pictures of the day), not really worth bothering with.

But the music video, which was directed by Jack Newman for Bullion Productions, is definitely worth four minutes and twenty-four seconds of your time.

Oh, what a surprise - I recommended by far the least mainstream thing!

This is 6ft1swell, for FMS, staying well out of the limelight...

Inspired by... Martin Kohl

It's always nice to know that someone is reading my musings, and even nicer when they actually bother to share their thoughts and/or reach out a mutually female muscle appreciating hand. So, this week on FMS, for some of the lovely readers who have been in touch (whether by email or the comment box), a whole post inspired by them as a way of saying thank you for supporting the blog.

I hope they, and you, will enjoy them.

Martin Kohl, one of the most prolific commenters on FMS, is a German with admiration for the female muscle beauty the UK currently has. 'All the good BB girls are British these days... *envy*,' he said in response to FBBUK: Haway the Lass!*, a post about teen sensation Georgina McConnell (and, incidentally, one of the most popular FMS posts of this, or any, year).



But although Martin loves a bit of Georgina (who doesn't?), back in January he told us that 'I'd rather go out with Rene if it comes to British beef.' So first up for Martin today, it's Rene, who you will probably agree is not only the most successful female bodybuilder from the UK right now, but is also the most beautiful.


Now that's what I call eye candy...




It's funny that while Martin is such a UK FBB fan, because I've always been a massive fan of German FBBs. Sabine Wick, Christa Bauch, the massive Cornelia Brandt, Merle Mohr, Nathalie Falk, the sensationally sexy Skadi Frei, and my all-time German number ein and one of my very first female muscle loves, the beautiful Anja Langer, are just some of the Muskel Mädchen who have filled me with admiration for the female muscle talent of Martin's home country.



And this year, it's been Michaela Schaar, the self-styled 'Iron Witch' of the Black Forest, who has made quite an impression on this boy.




It seems, as we say here, the grass is always greener on the other side, or, as Martin would say, Die Kirschen in Nachbars Garten schmecken immer süßer.



Thanks to you Martin for continuing to support the blog. Your comments and emails, always honest and full of passion and humour, are always appreciated. I look forward to another year of mutual female muscle jealousy.

Hopefully, I can unearth some more British talent for you to enjoy in 2014...

Inspired by... Anonymoouse

It's always nice to know that someone is reading my musings, and even nicer when they actually bother to share their thoughts and/or reach out a mutually female muscle appreciating hand. So, this week on FMS, for some of the lovely readers who have been in touch (whether by email or the comment box), a whole post inspired by them as a way of saying thank you for supporting the blog.

I hope they, and you, will enjoy them.

First up, Anonymoouse, who probably wishes to remain so, so even if I knew anything about him(?) - which I don't - I wouldn't be telling. Anyway, one of his (many) comments this year, one that was especially memorable, related to a clip of Colette Nelson doing some cooking during Domestic Muscle Goddess week back in June.

I love watching big muscle girls doing normal stuff (like cooking for instance) instead of the usual poses (as great as they are, it can get a little stale and repetitive)!

And so, especially for Anonymoouse...

BIG MUSCLE GIRLS DOING NORMAL STUFF

Like shopping, for instance - I told Tina not to flex, 'Great as your biceps are,' I said, 'It can get a little stale,' but she insisted. Sorry chief, it won't happen again, I promise!



Or waiting for your late ass...



Normal stuff like having a snack while catching up on some emails, not forgetting to make sure everyone can see your trophy. Or your arms. The SIZE of her ARM!



Normal stuff, the kind of stuff you do ALL THE TIME. Like feeding a giraffe.

More shopping, well, a possible purchase anyway. A girl like Christmas (how apt!) Abbott needs to know what she's putting in that beautiful body of hers, doesn't she?



Rene smiling sweetly at you across the table. Like I said, normal stuff.



Getting those fluids in.



And more shopping. Do you think Brazilian bomb Larissa Reis really dresses like this when she goes shopping? I know I would LIKE to think she does...

Jay Fuchs (on the right) and Skadi Frei (on the back) arriving at the club.



And having that morning espresso. Nude. Is it just me or does anyone else sincerely believe that sexy muscle women like Monica really do walk around in the nuddy whenever they are at home? I, for one, am absolutely CONVINCED it's true.



And finally, as Anonymoouse enjoyed Colette cooking so much back in June, I thought he(?) would like another cooking lesson. This time, a full fourteen plus minutes of the very very sexy Shawna Strong making some special wraps.



Enjoy! Another reader-inspired treat tomorrow...

Prof. Pennypacker's Pectarium

Pennypacker on download limits
If there is anything more irritating in this new world than the ridiculous imposition of daily download limits then I have yet to find it. I pay my subscription, set my program in motion and within the hour it has all come to a juddering halt. 'You have reached your daily limit for download'. Incensed, I fired off several emails and received replies ranging from the unsympathetic to the downright rude. XXXXXX [name removed for legal reasons] simply refunded my membership and as good as asked me not to bother them again. The nerve! Now I have no option but to seek out their material through not strictly legal means via my ever-growing list of (ever-generous) contacts. A ridiculous state of affairs. In future, I will simply write to websites and ask them to quote a price for their entire back archive.

At the time of his death, the professor was a paid-up member of six clip and photo websites and no fewer than twenty-eight websites belonging to individual female bodybuilders. We can only guess at the number of photo websites he had been a member of previously, though his archives suggest that at one time or another he had subscribed to all of them, and had paid for access to the members sections of quite literally hundreds of individual websites.





from Pennypacker's diary 19th June 2011
Debit card blocked due to 'unusual activity' according to the peon I spoke to (no doubt in some call centre on the other side of the planet). Had to ring another peon to assure them that, yes, I had authorised the payments and would they please unblock my card. After I'd calmed down (thanks to some archived Sondra Faas), for no other reason than my own personal amusement I called the manager at my branch direct and asked at what point my spending had become 'unusual'.

Whether or not Pennypacker's spending was 'unusual' or not, it was certainly copious. A statistician by profession and calling, he noted, some time in late 2012, the amount of money he calculated that he had spent on website subscriptions, pay-per-view clips and private cam shows until that point. The figure he arrived at was £7,650. In addition, he had donated £2,500 to individual bodybuilders to help with expenses, and spent almost £5,000 on state-of-the-art IT with which to 'indulge my passion'.



But rather than that being a cause to rein in his spending, Pennypacker instead rejoiced at the fact that he had the means to not only continue spending this way indefinitely, but could, in fact, increase his outlay without the slightest worry. 'Since the success of the first book I have had money but never knew what (or who) to spend it on,' he wrote. 'Now, at last, its purpose is clear.'

And the spending did not stop there. It was revealed during the legal battle over his will that the final cost for the construction of The Pectarium from first surveys to the final electrical installations broke the £200,000 mark.



from Pennypacker's diary 13th May 2012
They [the builders etc.] wonder what this thing they have made is. Most of them believe it is a place in which I will conduct scientific experiments or has something to do with 'gaming'. I wonder, if I did tell them, would one or two (or more) want to come back and experience it for themselves? I would gladly let them. I find to my surprise that I have designed the whole thing to be a private yet (potentially) shared experience without ever once realising it. My subconscious obviously craves to have like-minded company to enjoy my archive with. Perhaps I should start advertising on the forums: "Come see The Pectarium. Available now for weekend breaks/long stays. Groups welcomed." Ha!

The idea of turning The Pectarium into some kind of holiday camp for female muscle lovers may or may not have been one that the professor would have pursued. We will never know. Within weeks of his first 'glorious' night within its walls, he fell ill...

gifs by
The Ankle (Christa Bauch)
Shirtrippers (Angela Salvagno)
Muscular Girls in Motion (Rene Campbell)

Prof. Pennypacker's Pectarium

Like many fans of female muscle, Pennypacker was, at times, curious to know who he shared his passion with. Ultimately, he decided it was an impossible task to try to identify who, exactly, the 'sthenolagniacs' are. However, the questions about the group to which he felt he had come to belong are certainly ones familiar to the author, and may well be questions readers have asked themselves at one time.



from Pennypacker's diary 10th October 2011
I find the statistician in me is not gone. How many of us are there? Do we number in our thousands, millions, tens of millions? Are we numerous enough that we are almost certain to know a fellow female muscle worshipper, even if we do not know that is the case? How many, I wonder, have I met in my life? How many are friends, though we would never speak of it and so never know?

from Pennypacker's diary 12th November 2011
At times I feel like such a diletante. The knowledge some of the forum bods have of the history of female bodybuiding, their knowledge of the training methods and lifestyles of the women, their knowledge of when and where the competitions are, even the bars where the women go after the contests... I have so much to learn before I feel I can talk to them without feeling like a schoolchild being quizzed by a university lecturer. Oh, the irony of that!!!



from Pennypacker's diary 17th February 2012
From what I can understand, I am unusually old and developed sthenolagnia (how much new vocabulary I have learned?!) relatively late in life, but this is based only on the confessions of those who are prepared to share this sort of thing, and only then when protected behind the anonymity of the internet. Hardly empirical.

from Pennypacker's diary 22nd February 2012
Like mad monks in the most extreme of orders we practise our common religion from within our own cells, never meeting, passing notes to each other under doors.



from Pennypacker's diary 9th April 2012
A thought on the prevalence of available material. Statistically speaking, it holds that at any given moment a female muscle worshipper somewhere is more likely to be masturbating to an image or clip of Annie Riveccio than one of Georgia Fudge. It amuses me to think that this might be remembered as Pennypacker's First Law. Ha!



from Pennypacker's diary 4th May 2012
For a moment I lifted my head above the parapet. Received email from cousin Larry. The family is worried about me. I wrote hundreds of words in reply, confessing to everything in some detail. Candid and unapologetic, I was ready to 'come out' as they say. Never pressed send. Deleted it and wrote something about being kept busy with the renovations to the house and various loose ends from work that needed tying up. Promises that I would visit him and do the family rounds in the summer. I wonder if this is a common experience, something other female muscle lovers go through.

from Pennypacker's diary 19th July 2012
What I know. 1) Sthenolagnia exists all over the world and it is a taboo fetish everywhere even though 2) it takes many different forms. 3) The lovers of female muscle are as varied in age, social status etc. as the male population itself.



from Pennypacker's diary 28th August 2012
Bank holiday with the family at Larry's. Conversation turned to the Olympics and Larry, never one to hold back on his opinions, spouted forth about how impressed he was at the 'Amazonian women' on display at the Olympics in London, how wonderful the physiques they had developed were and that kind of thing. I agreed wholeheartedly, perhaps a little too wholeheartedly - there was more than one comment made about this being the first time me and Larry had ever agreed on anything. Could Larry possibly be one of 'us'? On the train home I daydreamed of a test. Sending him pictures of Rene Campbell. Subject: A Real Amazon.



Enjoy!

Rebekah Kresila by Muscular Girls in Motion
Viviana Violante by 'the street fighter'.