Svensk Muskel: Linnéa Fransson

THE CROSSFITTER



Swell, Swell, 6 foot 1 inches tall,
Who is the fairest Crossfitter of them all?

Linnéa, Linnéa, my Swedish princess,
You aren't top of the rankings but you're the best!




While Swell sits under that tree over there and continues to churn out what he calls "his epic poem to his Swedish Crossfit goddess" but what the rest of us call a collection of rhyming couplets so bad they constitute a crime against the English language, FMS is fortunate to be able to call upon the keen eye of our resident Crossfit expert.



Aiden says: I had seen pics but she blended in with the horde of Scandinavians...

OK... well, perhaps we should just introduce her ourselves, then...



She's 1.68m (5'5") and just over 60kg (9½st, 132lbs). She's from Mariestad in the province of West Gothland, where the biggest of Sweden's lakes are. As the beginning of Swell's "poem" suggested, Linnéa didn't make it to the Crossfit Games in 2014, but as she's just 21, the best years of her Crossfit career are surely yet to come.



Aiden says: I think maybe even more so than Camille (who is very photogenic but everyday women may say too bulky), Linnéa, on the other hand, hits the points "most" women think they need to adhere to, ie. 1. Abs, 2. "Toned" arms, 3. Blonde, 4. Slimmish not blocky or strong looking. At 21 she has a lot of development to do, and looks get sponsorships but not championships.




Follow her development for yourself on Instagram, Facebook, and You Tube.



Njut!

Olympia 2014 Review: Gymnastic Fantastic

It's one thing to look great. It's a whole other deal to look great and perform an acrobatic routine while carb and water depleted. But that's what Fitness competitors do each and every time they hit the stage. It's a sport that combines the aesthetics of physique with an entertaining twist. If you like looking at fit women doing insane tricks, then you need to sign up for the Fitness division fan club.
Cassie Smith, Bodybuilding.com




It's been a while since FMS last celebrated the power and flexibility of Fitness competitors and muscular women in general. In fact you have to go back almost exactly two years to 16th October 2012 for our last Gymnastic Fantastic post. Watching this year's Fitness Olympia routines with our collective jaw on the floor convinced us it was high time we celebrated such dynamic athleticism once again.




Don't cha wish your girlfriend had moves like these? read the tagline on our very first Gymnastic Fantastic post in 2011, and on another early post we (somewhat more crudely) invited readers to imagine the possibilities. As Tuco might have said in The Good, the Bad and the Ugly: "There are two types of men in this world. Those whose women are this gymnastic, and those who wish their women were this gymnastic."



I was once fortunate enough to actually be with a couple of extremely flexible women. One was an ex-gymnast, the other a dancer. And yes, it is as good as you imagine it is, better, in fact. Legs all over the place. The ability to achieve positions previously undreamt of and, more importantly, maintain them. Those were, indeed, the days!




But it's not just the sexual fantasies of men that this kind of strength and agility appeals to. It was the sight of a fitness competitor performing her routine that originally aroused Dr Tanya Bunsell's interest in muscular women. As she recalls in her wonderful book Strong and Hard Women - now available in paperback remember - The first time I saw a female bodybuilder I was 7 (at a ballet class). I looked up and saw a woman doing a gymnastic routine on a muted television screen. I watched her do the splits, one armed press-ups and even a back flip. I was awestruck, not so much by the routine, but by the combination of her skills and her appearance. I had never seen a woman look like that before. She was wearing a shiny bikini, displaying her tanned, muscular body. She had lots of make-up on and styled 'big' hair. She looked so happy, independent, strong and carefree. I know now that the woman performing the routine was a fitness competitor. Unlike the majority of people who immediately react with repulsion at the mere sight of a muscular woman, her appearance, demeanour and capabilities immediately appealed to me. Even at that young age I was drawn to and fascinated by a woman so apparently possessed of herself.




Really the prowess of these amazing women can only be partially appreciated in photos like the ones we've selected today. While they may capture something of the "insane tricks" Fitness competitors perform, what they don't capture is the speed at which they perform them. The transition from one almost impossible move to the next almost impossible position happens in the blink of an eye, and what's more, there are no let-ups - at no point do they pause and catch their breath. They're relentless.




We noted on Saturday that it was thought Oksana Grishina's routine was just so far ahead of everyone else's that she had moved up the judges' scorecards from 4th (or even 5th place) in the first ("physique") round and into top spot because of it. But quite honestly, the flexibility, the acrobatics, the strength and the sheer energy displayed in every single one of the routines at the 2014 Fitness Olympia left me quite breathless.




Nevertheless, I did especially enjoy (former gymnast) Myriam Capes' strength in her "Angel & Devil" routine - and she even treated the audience to a most impressive most muscular at the finish. As well as Capes' routine, I enjoyed her fellow Canadian Fiona Harris flinging herself around the stage, and another woman that caught my eye for her acrobatics was American Whitney Jones. And some of the positions 4th place finisher Bethany Cisternino and Uruguay's Marta Aquiar managed to get themselves into had my eyes popping out of their sockets (among other things).




All in all, I'm left wondering why the Fitness division bothers with any other round, so much have I enjoyed the rare treat of watching all the routines in full. Heels and quarter turns are fine and all, but the Figure and Bikini divisions already cover that. And given the routines already count for 66% of the total scoring, it seems a bit unnecessary to put these fantastic gymnastic athletes through the heels and turns thing when it is clear to all they are best appreciated flying through the air, twisting and landing into a one-armed press-up... then taking off again!!!



You can pick your own favourites, and see these amazing women in motion, here.




Enjoy!

Haters Gonna Hate (But If They Are Gonna Hate Melissa Wee, They Should Learn to Spell)

True story. Recently made a very cool female muscle lovin' contact through a forum which is not a female muscle forum. He started up a thread called 'Girls with Muscle' which we have both been adding to, posting pics of Zsuzsanna Toldi, Chelsea Hagan, Cindy Landolt, Megan Avalon etc. Busty types. Not the hugest most shocking kind of muscle women by any means. And guess what? Thousands of views, but only the odd comment of support/suggestion, although two other guys have posted some muscle. By far the most popular type of comment bemoans the "horrific" amount of muscle on these women that "cross into butch", whose "faces look weird".

Now, if you are reading this blog you probably don't agree that Chelsea Hagan has a "weird" face, and nor would you use a word like "butch" if you were describing Cindy Landolt. However, if by the off chance you are reading this blog and you actually do think that Zsuzsanna Toldi's body is "horrific", then my question to you is this:

WHY ARE YOU HERE?

I don't mean "Why are you here?" in the philosophical, cosmic sense. I'm not asking for an explanation of your existence. What I mean is "Why, if you don't like female muscle, are you here, at a blog about female muscle?" Why visit a forum thread clearly labelled "Girls with Muscle" if you don't like girls with muscle? And why look at pictures of Melissa Wee on her Instagram or Facebook pages if you find her repulsive?

Melissa says: And this is why I deadlift.


Yes, Singapore's sexiest gets her fair share of abuse, possibly more than her fair share, and these haters are all very keen to spell out exactly why they find her so abhorrent. And that's another thing I don't understand about these types, why do they bother commenting? Why do they feel so compelled to spend their precious time sharing their negative opinions with people who quite obviously have another point of view?

It seems to me that you must really have a lot of time on your hands if you can afford to pass your time being so totally and uselessly negative. Really a LOT of time.

Posting a bigger picture because I LUB the rainbow bandage skirt!


Melissa doesn't have much time to waste. And she is certainly not going to be wasting any precious free time she does have on answering her critics, but occasionally it is satisfying to see her hit back at a particularly nasty hater. She hits back and in the process mobilises those of us who do appreciate her to send her more messages of support. The net result of Melissa being hated is Melissa getting some love.

Perhaps the negativity isn't completely useless after all!

I have about 3 and a half months to go before I step on stage. The closer I get to the date, the more excited and nervous I get. I just got home from a chesticles/ bicepraptors session followed by a 6km run. I'm pretty much too damn tired now to say anything inspiring. In fact I don't even feel very motivated today but I know that I got to do what I got to do if I want to present my very best physique come September 6th. So guess what princess, even if I don't feel like training or sticking to my diet, I still gotta suck it up and do it. Because if I don't, I can't expect to get the results that I want. I have no one to blame but myself.


Melissa's most recent response to some pointless hating was a little bit different though. You may recall that Melissa was (or is?) a primary school teacher. Well, once a teacher, always a teacher is, I believe, how the saying goes, and the poor fool who wasted his time insulting Melissa on this occasion fell foul of that teacher within her.

Someone spammed my Instagram account on more than 30 photos telling me my muscles are "descussting" and "you loose your boobs". Omg. The horror! Melissa wrote. Can you see where this is going yet, where the teacher in Melissa is taking us?

Because sometimes we need a midweek night out.


Of course, as Teacher Ms Wee points out, it's "disgusting", not "descussting" (unless they meant "discussing" - surely not?!), and although you might "loosen" something (probably not your boobs, but anyway), you don't "loose" anything, you "lose" it.

With all that time on their hands - I mean, scrawling your borderline illiterate views all over thirty pictures must take a good hour at least - you'd think that they could spend just a moment of that time checking how to spell the odd difficult or confusing word.

Spamming your feed with more progress pictures I took today. 14 weeks out. 3 and a half months. I think I'm going to freak out. I HAVE to bring a much tighter package to stage in 14 weeks. It's not a matter of whether I can but rather I MUST.


Help is at hand, however. Female Muscle Slave, in association with Melissa Wee, is delighted to invite entries for the first annual HATERS ONLY SPELLING BWEE.

Rounds will include straight up spelling, homophones and homonyms, and a freestyle round where contestants are given a microphone and get sixty seconds to score points with some grammatical, well-structured, and witty abuse while Melissa (bikini-clad, ripped and oiled) flexes her descussting muscles right in front of their faces.

GunShow


Contact 6ft1swell@gmail.com for an entry form. What have you got to loose?

Oh, and I nearly forgot. If, and only if, the idea of Melissa Wee doing a few topless pull-ups (because you make the most gains doing pull ups topless, according to Melissa) appeals to you, then make yourself comfortable before clicking here.

Please, enjoy!

Crossfit: Big Love for Sam Briggs

Looking for a super hero? Good news! Your search is over.



Britian's own Samantha Briggs, reigning Crossfit Games Champion, whose performances in the Open (qualifying) stage had her ranked number 1 worldwide.

She arrived at last weekend's Europe Regional event needing to be in the top 3 by the time the 7th and final event was over. A formality, surely.

Event 2. An event that had destroyed the chances of another favourite, Stacie Tovar, in the North Central (USA) Regional. Samantha finishes in a disastrous 26th place.

She's way down in the overall classification, hopes of qualification dashed.

On her Instagram page she admits it's not been the best start to my Regionals, before defiantly adding, I'm no quitter... I'll be there tomorrow to fight to the end!!!

What followed was, without question, the best bit of sport - any sport - I have had the privilege to witness this year. Event 3. She wins. Event 4. Second.

She's climbing up the classifications.

Event 5. Run to a rope. Climb up it without using your legs. Run back to your (sizeable and weighty) marker. Move it back, away from the rope. Run back to the rope. Climb again. Back to marker. Move it further away from the rope again. Keep repeating until the last rope climb, then run back again and carry your marker over the finish line.



Sam is possessed. And by halfway the rest of the field - the other nine top-ranked Crossfitters in Europe - are trailing in her wake. While they get more ragged with each rope climb, Sam seems to actually climb it faster and faster as the event progresses.



"She's amazing!" exclaims my wife, who sat down to watch a bit of the live stream when the men were on, but has stayed to watch, and been impressed by, the women in the previous heats. Nobody has impressed her like Sam though. "Oh my God, she's amazing!" she says again. And she keeps saying it until well after Sam and her marker have crossed the finish line and we're both standing up and clapping.



Sam's finished over thirty seconds ahead of the next competitor, Sweden's Caroline Fryklund, and over a minute ahead of previous Games winner Annie Thorisdottir, who came fourth in the event and was the eventual top European qualifier.

But in fact it was what Samantha Briggs did after she had finished, when she and Annie saw that Katrin Thorisdottir (Annie's sister) was struggling to finish the event that epitomised not only her heroism, but also the camaraderie of the sport. Oh, and it also had the wife in tears (and yes, ok, I'll admit I was fighting them back too).

[I] Have a pic of Sam Briggs being a motivational m’fucker. She and Annie Thorisdottir were so good with Katrin Davidsdottir when she couldn’t finish event 5. What with the crowd being so supportive and everything seriously their heat was just heartwarming to watch, and that’s cheesy and I know it. And I love it.
Glaswegian crossfitter Harriet, aka propositionh



Sam Briggs absolutely CRUSHED event 5 today at the European Regional and then it seemed that Katrin Davidsdottir wanted to quit in the 8th round, even sitting down. Sam, as a true champion and in an unbelievable show of sportsmanship, actually picked up Katrin and tried to coach her through the work. This is CrossFit. This, even with all the bullshit that goes on in the periphery is what makes it all worthwhile.
Floridian (male) crossfitter That Mountain

Can you FEEL the love yet?

So, in events 3, 4 and 5 Sam has won, come second, and won. Sunday. Event 6. She wins again! One more event to go, and if anybody can, Samantha Briggs can...

She finishes 8th in the last event. Overall, she has climbed back up to 4th, but, it's not quite enough. She's outside the top 3. She won't be defending her title at the Games.



Well I gave it everything I had but unfortunately it just fell short! Obviously not happy to finish 4th but considering I had to fight back from a 26th place I'm proud of how I performed! Now to put my feet up, drink some alcoholic berveraves [that's how she spelt it] and cheer on Central East!!! Thank you to everyone for their support it's not the last they've seen of me I'll be back next year even more hungrier than ever!!!
from her Instagram, bicepslikebriggs

And all over the world, fans have been on the forums, on the Crossfit website, on their personal blogs, all saying similar things, all showing their love. They're saying that if, as is possible, wildcards are going to be awarded, Samantha Briggs had better be getting one, because the Games without the Queen is unthinkable, and any winner of the Games who hasn't beaten her will be a champion in name only.

Meanwhile, at home, my wife confesses to me what has been obvious since about 4.30 on Saturday afternoon - she has a raging girl crush on Samantha. She's talking about her on the phone to her friends, her cousin, her sister-in-law, and even her parents, whether they want to hear about her or not. "She's amazing!" she keeps saying.

Indeed she is.



The weekend's events hit me with a bang this morning & I just wanted to stay in bed all day... I gave myself two options: 1) sit and cry over something I cannot change, 2) go to the gym and do what I do best... I chose to TRAIN.

On a scale of 1 (which could be something like "Crossfit? Whatever!") to 10 "I am totally and utterly in awe of this woman, this warrior, this super-human super-hero champion", I'm at about 28. The wife is at about 635, and still rising.