FMS @RP2018: Tales from the Feed (Part 1)

It's 5.45am my time. I am somewhat tired and more than a bit boss-eyed. Alina's just been crowned Ms Rising Phoenix 2018, but it was the joyous 20-woman posedown before the prizes were handed out that led to my own - explosive - personal climax.

Finally, it's over.


Emcee Sarah Hurrle

Just over 12 hours earlier the live feed from the prejudging had started with the Fitness ladies' two-piece round. Not my favourite bit of a Fitness show - is it anybody's? - so initially at least I was only half-watching. I dipped into the chat. "Benjamin Harrison" (his first language probably not English) was ruling the roost there, his moronic comments ("What is this? Why we have to see Barbie show? We want FBBs!!!") didn't just put me off joining in the conversation, but ultimately everybody else too.


Cydney Gillon & Karen Reyes

Figure was next, I heard former Olympian and emcee Sarah Hurrle announce. OK, now you've got my undivided attention - if not Benjamin's. Unsurprisingly, Cydney Gillon looked - and proved to be - the class of the line-up, and she, together with the sultry Karen Reyes and the ripped Tracy Williams, had me reaching below the keyboard and fantasising I was in the front row for the first time on the day.



Bikini seemed to last an eternity, so I flicked around social media. Plenty already up from the previous day's check-in and meet-and-greet, plenty of make-up and hair done head shots. However, I clicked back to the feed quick snap when emcee Sarah addressed the crowd: OK you guys, are you ready to see some MUSCLE?!



You couldn't hear the crowd much on the feed - the music and Sarah's microphone very much dominated the soundscape - but this was one of those occasions when you could hear the cheers and whoops and whistles. Then the music started up again, and Michaela came out. After well over an hour, the first beautiful biceps, pecs, back, glutes, abs and thighs were flexed at the Arizona Pro. I sat back and let myself go. In all, 24 Physique Dreams of all ages shapes and sizes brought their muscle to the stage. I imagine the "guys" were impressed, but like I say, you couldn't hear them much.



The first callout had Michaela, Natalia and Jennifer Taylor at its centre. It looked close between them - not just to me, but more importantly to the judges, who had the ladies changing places during both the first callout and when the top 4 (those three plus defending champ Heather Grace) lined up again for a last callout. Meanwhile, Benjamin had piped down a bit after someone had pointed out to him there was actually a schedule so he shouldn't be too surprised about the running order.



The Physique Over 40s were going through their comparisons, and backstage a "still waiting!" Sheila passed the time taking selfies with Isabelle, Helle and Alina. I can't speak for Benny, but my own anticipation level was way past 11 by now. Tributes were paid to Tim Gardener, Jake Woods, and Lenda Murray, without whom etc. and Sarah worked the crowd a bit. Once again, she referred to the crowd as "guys", making me wonder if the Rising Phoenix audience really is just a bunch of obsessive drooling heads like me (but with better travel opportunites). Be sure to join us for the after party upstairs at the Chrome Night Club, Sarah said. Really?! Anyone can just go hang out?! For a moment, I imagined something pretty damn close to heaven...



And then it was time for the main event. A bit of bombastic build-up video (heavily featuring, I noted, Yaxeni, Irene Andersen, and Lisa Cross - none of whom were competing this year) and Benny Boy got his wish - the FBBs came thundering on.




It's such a rare treat to watch female muscle live, even rarer [once a year in fact! - ed.] to see the biggest and best of all. The gulf of size between them and even the biggest of the Physique women was obvious, and - to me, and I dare say to Benny Boy too - quite overwhelming. Gasping and moaning, I didn't know where to look as these beautiful beasts came out five at a time in alphabetical order for a round of initial comparisons.




Jill Blondn's epic, thrilling calves; Barbara Carità's posing top stretched to its absolute limit; Jay's huge quads - the way they have to walk because of their massive legs is in itself fascinating - and that semi-visible coming-together of strange crotch muscles only FBBs have; Tananarive Hue's apparently immense back muscles...




Maryse is just immense; Wendy's beautiful beefy British bum; Pauline Nelson's slow, sexy posing style takes me right to the edge; Virginia's massive arms keep me there...



By the time the first callout is announced, I'm in quite a state. The actual excitement of the competition brings me back above the keyboard though. As I watch, I type this:

Margie, Alina, Helle and Sheila in first callout
Plus Jill Blondin and Nicki Chartrand
Shocker is Helle is at the edge
Margie, Alina and Sheila in the middle
Helle and Jill kept there for 2nd callout plus Virginia
Helle no better than 5th?! Nicki Chartrand 4th maybe - well-deserved she looks great but Helle visibly shocked and Margie seemed to be shocked about it too



It seemed as though both Sheila and Alina had a genuine shout, and that one of the "Big Four" - Helle - wasn't actually going to be in the top 4. The women thundered off to very audible applause, cheers, whoops and whistles. That's all folks - for now.




I opened the chat box. Benny Boy had been typing too:

###############################################################################################################################ALINA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only one winner for him then.

I checked out the social media updates, one hand back down below.



And realised I probably wasn't going to get much kip before the finals.

Tales from the Feed continues tomorrow.

Woman of the Week: FBBUK: Emily Brand

She's my current dream girl, my internet female muscle head friend tells me - he has a bit of a penchant for the younger ladies, you see. Her transformation pics are hot af!


Relax, Emily's 20 now

To be honest, I'd never heard of Lincolnshire's Emily Brand before my friend told me about her - me having a bit of a penchant for the more mature muscle ladies, you see. And, quite honestly too, I found her transformation pics more upsetting than "hot af", because her story begins with an anorexic teenager. Her weight: 5st 3lbs (just 33kg).



At 14, Emily spent a year as a child mental health in patient. The doctors tried to put me on a feeding tube, she says. I ripped it straight out. Then they tried to get me to drink these high calorie shakes and I would just sneak out of bed and tip them out the window. Though she did get well enough to return home, she soon relapsed, and at 17 she was readmitted. This time though some tough love helped her turn herself around. When you go into the unit you're not allowed weekend home visits until you've got to a certain weight, she explains. In the end, I ate my way out. I just did what I had to do to get home. I still hadn't completely overcome the psychological side of my anorexia but I was more determined to get better and I joined the gym.



It wasn't an instant cure by any means - to begin with, and despite the fact Emily plucked up the courage to enter some Bikini shows - she was, in her own words, "still trying to function on way too few calories". It was only when she met her current coach, Rob Reinaldo, that Emily truly began to overcome her illness. And he did it with a little more tough love. He said he would train me and get me into bodybuilding but he really put his foot down when it came to my eating, recalls Emily.



A year on, and she has gained 3st (almost 20kg!) of muscle - and it shows!



As a result, she's moved up a division or two in her competitive outings. Athletic Figure (or equivalent) is I believe where you will find Emily now. And the chances are she's competed at a PCA or WABBA show near you in 2018. She'd done seven by mid-August, according to the Mail Online, and "has consistently placed in the top four and been crowned champion three times". Since then, she's competed - and won - at least once more, and with the PCA British Finals not happening till October, I wouldn't be surprised if Emily got tanned and oiled for another two or three shows this year!


To the victor... (pick 'n' mix out of the trophy!)

I can't believe how much my life has changed, says Emily. It's amazing to think I was in a wheelchair just three years ago. People say that weightlifting hurts but what I put my body through with my anorexia was so painful that weightlifting is nothing...



I really love it, and I'm loving life.



Follow Emily on Instagram. Her story was first reported by Unilad, then picked up by the Mail, and also featured in The Sun. And if you do have a moment spare, perhaps a letter to your local MP, or whoever is in charge of the Department of Health in your government right now, asking them to read Emily's (or another FBB's) story and get weight training on the list of recommended treatments for anorexia, bulimia and other eating disorders. It will probably fall on deaf ears, but if you don't try...



Enjoy!

(More) Summer Lovin': Wild & Wholesome

As women who feature heavily in GwM's High Score Today go, Amanda Ballengee is - in my experience - rather unique. Exquisite muscle beauty, one comment reads, but completely different to the usual on this site - no gym pics found at all!



No gym pics found on her Instagram nor website either. Instead we have Amanda picking blueberries (she can pick and carry a lot with those arms). There's Amanda with her gun dog artwork. There's Amanda with her guns (handguns and semi-automatics) and her other weapon of choice, her bow. And there's Amanda "checking cams and taking names" (eh?!) in the West Virginia woodland she calls home.



The title of today's post - Wild & Wholesome - is the name of the blog which you can read on her website, and while she clearly has an affinity for "the wild", just how "wholesome" you find her will be very much a matter of personal opinion. To some, she is simply "a lovely country girl", "a strong, confident woman representative of our Western Christian culture". To others, she is "a crazed Christian conservative".



Find out how "wholesome" you think Amanda is on her website and/or Instagram.

(More) Summer Lovin': That Intellectual Look

A few years ago an old friend of mine (real not online), very successful in his field of business, decided he was going to get himself some glasses. He didn't need to wear them, there was, and as far as I know still is, absolutely nothing wrong with his vision. He just felt he needed to look a bit more intellectual in meetings, where he was often up against guys who "just looked so f***ing intelligent" with their specs on.



There's quite a lot of him in C. Moore Glootz - the bluster, the sideways point of view, the egocentricity (not that he isn't a lovely guy underneath all that!). Strangely though, some recent research reported in the UK media has suggested that not only was my old friend correct in thinking wearing glasses makes you look smarter, but also that there may actually be a link between having poor eyesight and being intelligent.




Research commissioned by Scrivens Opticians & Hearing Care and carried out by OnePoll.com found one third believe spectacle wearers look more intellectual than those who don't have prescription eyewear. The research also found 32 per cent of glasses wearers think they are perceived 'differently' when they wear glasses.
[The Sun, 31 January 2018]


Built to last: Gaby Quiros is smart enough to find the Corinth Canal

A new study published in the journal Nature Communications has found that needing to wear glasses is associated with higher levels of intelligence. In the study, the largest of its kind ever conducted, researchers from the University of Edinburgh analyzed cognitive and genetic data from over 300,000 people aged between 16 and 102 that had been gathered by the UK Biobank and the Charge and Cogent consortia. Their analysis found “significant genetic overlap between general cognitive function, reaction time, and many health variables including eyesight, hypertension, and longevity”. Specifically, people who were more intelligent were almost 30% more likely to have genes which might indicate they’d need to wear glasses.
[The Guardian, 30 May 2018]



Whether what's brought it on is the (sometime) glasses wearing Swoon of the Year Shannon Seeley, or my recent deep exploration of Amanda Machado's Instagram, or something else entirely, over the last couple of weeks I've been actively searching for and collecting images of bespectacled muscular beauties for FMS.


Jana Beeckman makes sure everything matches

Am I entering some kind of brawn plus brains period?


Rachael Chaskey has read at least one book

Anecdotal evidence on the forums abounds with suggestions that some muscle women are, in fact, just as "meat-headed" as (I imagine all) male BBs (to be). I've never seen FBBs as anything less than brilliantly intelligent simply because they've chosen right, chosen the correct answer if you like - a life devoted to Bodybuilding.



So I dismiss that kind of forum chatter. For one thing, there are the actually academically qualified and professionally high-achieving types (see below), but what about Cory Everson, who plotted a career into the mainstream that remains unrivalled? What about Denise Masino or Lisa Cross or Brandi Mae Akers, who have turned their talents to money-making via muscle erotica? What about Emery Miller, chatting away to her fans on cam and managing to be engaging and apparently knowledgeable across a wide range of subjects? The most popular Female Bodybuilders, more often than not it seems to me, appeal not only to our baser physical instincts, but can also reach the largest of erogenous zones - our brains.


Doctor Alex Mossbarger

In a thread called "Female Bodybuilders with a High IQ", Bettina Kadet (now Salomone) (optometrist), Kathy Connors (well-read, knew "an impressive amount" about a minor African conflict according to a head who met her), Cerra Aredia (lawyer), Dina Al Sabah (polyglot, BSc, MSc, MBA), Dr. Michelle Neil, Dr. Dena Westerfield, Heather Darling ("accomplished" lawyer), the late great Renee O'Neil (BSc, MSc, missile defence program director), Chris Lydon (did Neurobiology and French, then graduated from Yale Medical School before discovering Bodybuilding), and, of course, Kristy Hawkins (chemist) all get shout outs.



None of them - as far as I know - are famous for wearing specs though...




Neither are many of the women we've featured today, and some I was genuinely surprised to find wearing glasses - Cass Martin, for example, Michaela Aycock, Ashlee Potts, and Megan Elizabeth Colvin. Only one or two - Paige Sandgren being the obvious example - are more commonly seen with than without eyewear, and much of Paige's geeky-girl-next-door appeal stems from that very fact.



Do the rest of them know what my old friend worked out and the later research confirmed (sort of) - that glasses really do make you look more intelligent?



It's win-win as far as I can tell. If they really do need to wear the glasses then research shows they are likely to be have clever genes anyway. And even if they are wearing them solely for effect, well that just shows how smart they are too. Either way my suspicions are confirmed. Muscle women are as brainy as they are beautiful.



Enjoy!