Saturday, 16 February 2013

Ts of the Day

We begin a week of muscle babes and their informal attire with a look at some of the more popular printed slogans for the discerning female fitness freak (and her man).

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We begin our survey with the slogan that, if our research is to be believed, is by far the most popular choice for the lady who wants to not only show off her hard-earned muscles, but also wants to let the world know that those muscles are doing wonders for her self-confidence.

Now, we here at FMS, and quite probably you too, never held 'skinny' in much estimation, but if you think about the mainstream media's obsession with skinny beauty, then replacing it with 'strong' makes a lot more sense.

Interestingly, the models for the vests below (top left and bottom right) look a whole lot less strong than, say Sophie Arvebrink (bottom left) who really does have some lovely muscles. So it seems that even those that market the shirts tend to shy away from using really strong and muscular women in their advertising. But hey, you can't have everything, and even those models are an improvement on the norm, and thus definitely a step in the right direction.

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Another extremely popular slogan (based solely on our research that is, we have no actual proof) seems to be a message to those men and women who treat the gym like a place to socialise. These iron-pumping babes are here for one reason and one reason alone, and they don't want to hear anything from you (or anyone else) except a few grunts and some heavy breathing. It also serves as a way of having to avoid talking themselves. Should they need to communicate with you, they can just point at their own chests. Or perhaps just inflate them, making the lettering clearer.

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Having shut up and trained, we're back to the strong/skinny thing again. I couldn't find an image of this on a T-shirt, but I assume that is what it's intended to be. Now, once again, Swell feels duty bound to take issue here. The fact is, although naked, or nearly naked is always preferable, I think strong girls look good clothed or naked. And look better than skinny girls in either case. I freely admit to being something of an extremist on the subject, and would go so far as to say that a strong girl who has just woken up after a hard weekend's partying having forgotten to take off her make-up looks better than a skinny girl who's been at the beauty spa all day and is wearing her best dress.

On second thoughts, perhaps that's a bit too much to fit on a T-shirt...

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I love these 'Strong and Proud of It' type slogans, even if they don't stand up to analysis, it's the sentiment that counts, and FMS will, as regular readers, will know, get behind anything that praises fit, muscular women. Let's not fight about which slogan is more or less appropriate. They're all good, although the consensus around here seems to be that 'Fit Babes Do It Better' is hard to beat.

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And now I'm sitting here with my coffee wondering how best to scrape the 'THE' and the 'NEW' off the cup when I've finished up here.

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This week we'll be looking at a variety of 'messages' on T-shirts and vests worn by muscular women from the famous to the unknown.

To purchase Strong Is the New Sexy items for the muscle woman in your life, FMS recommends Spreadshirt.

Enjoy!

And for more Sophie Arvebrink and her strong, sexy Swedish bod, look here.

Friday, 15 February 2013

Saint Valentina: (Still) Muscle Loved Up

The UK edition of FHM listed Tulisa Contostavlos as this year’s ‘Sexiest Woman in the World’. Now, have a look at Tulisa below, and compare her to the nameless fire fighter on the right, who, as far as I know, didn’t make the FHM list at all, and what’s more still wouldn’t have made the list if FHM readers had known who she was.

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Now remember, the vast majority of your peers, if given the choice, would be dreaming of a Valentine’s date with Tulisa. You, on the other hand, are thinking seriously about setting your house on fire right now. And so am I.

Let’s face it. We ain’t ‘normal’. If we were, our lives would be so much easier. As an example: Have you ever walked into a supermarket with women in it? Ever walked into a supermarket with a muscle woman in it? How about a bar? Same two questions.

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Neither have I. And I don’t expect to start bumping into lots of them any time soon. So where are they all? I’ll tell you. They’re at Annie Riveccio’s house having their photos taken by her and James Cook (part of me hates the guy for having all the luck but you have to admire him for actually getting out there and doing the damn thing). If they are not with Annie and James, they are at the herbiceps.com ‘Muscle Mansion’ or in that car park that almost every woman on ftvideo.com has frequented at one time or another (where is that car park and what are the rates?) Or they’re in the gym. Or at home. On webcam. And that’s your money they’re taking.

For a female muscle fan who dreams of something more romantic than a money transaction, who’s not lucky enough to have found a hardcore female bodybuilder in their gym (and even then, she’s unlikely to be there to flirt with you between sets), and who’s not ‘in the industry’, the chances of meeting the woman of your dreams are next to nothing. There’s no FBBmatch.com, no FBBeharmony (as far as I know, if there is please tell me!). What are you going to do? Place a lonely hearts ad?

prof. solvent male, NS, GSOH, 30, seeks woman with broader shoulders than mine for fun, poss. relationship. Steroid-users/pro FBBs especially welcome

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All in all, it’s highly unlikely that you spent Valentine’s with the woman of your female muscle dreams. Depressing? Maybe. But as the Rolling Stones remind us, you can’t always get what you want, and really, would you rather be like everyone else? Would you go back to your past and remove the experiences that led to you falling for female muscle? Do you really want to fancy the kind of women everybody else does? Do you really want to be ‘normal’?

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Of course you don’t. And neither do I. I remain as muscle loved up as ever.

Hope you enjoyed Saint Valentina's week, and by the way, if any of you would actually like to try the lonely hearts ad, I’m sure we’d all be delighted to hear about it – especially if it works!

Thursday, 14 February 2013

Saint Valentina: Hearts... And A Flower

HEARTS...

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Muscle women wear their hearts beneath their glutes...

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Ashlee Chambers and Theresa Hendricks

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Nicole P

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Fanny Palou and Heather Policky

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Femme Fatale

AND A FLOWER

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What else could I post on February 14th?

Enjoy! Have a good Valentine's Day.

May all your dreams of female muscle love come true.

Wednesday, 13 February 2013

Saint Valentina: Muscle Love Story II

In Danish. But I don't think you need to understand the words.

At Home with Morten and Sanne



Wouldn't it be nice?!

Tuesday, 12 February 2013

Saint Valentina: Slave Loves...

We continue our week of female muscle love with a selection of women currently residing in our favourites folder. Women who have not only built exceptional physiques, but are also strikingly (if unconventionally) beautiful. These women come from all over the world. Some will be familiar, some perhaps less so. Some are at the peak of their careers, others approaching theirs. But every single one of them will make your heart skip a beat.

Prepare to fall in love (or perhaps fall in love again) with…

MICHAELA SCHAAR
Deep in the Black Forest of southern Germany is the lair of The Iron Witch, a woman of legendary strength and mythical beauty. Many suitors have entered her domain, but as yet none have returned to tell the tale…
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Seriously, she calls herself The Iron Witch, it is in fact the name of her website. Check it out and see if you don’t fall for her 15-inch biceps and those big dark eyes.


VIRGINIA SANCHEZ MASIAS
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We know that this is not only not a real word, but also not actually biologically possible, but with so much prime Spanish beef and so much power inside that sensational body, we have our own nickname for VSM here at FMS, La Tora, the female bull. The matador who takes her on had better be at the top of his game. Olé!


JUANITA BLAINO
Pros beware. Juanita is coming!
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The 2012 NPC Nationals Heavyweight and Overall Champion says, I love posing. We’re not surprised. How many 43-year-olds get to show off a body like that. Without question, Juanita will be a star of the future. In all probability, the very near future.


ALEESHA
Like Elvis, no surname necessary.
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You can say all you want about her ‘enhancements’, about how it’s spoilt her for you, about how you prefer ‘the natural look’. We ain’t listening, we're not going to debate you, we’re looking at Aleesha. And what we see is a whole lot of woman. Beautiful, curvaceous, muscular woman. She just looks so… well, juicy.


JESSICA SCOFIELD
Princess of Power
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Like most readers of the blog (I imagine) I tend to seek my female muscle from within the bodybuilding and fitness scene, paying little or no attention to the sport of powerlifting. Well, thanks to Jessica, it’s got my attention now. Don’t be fooled by the cute smile, this woman could throw you out of your county… in your car. And she’s not just gorgeous, muscular and incredibly strong. Check out her website for more.


SUSANNA TIRPAK
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Stunningly beautiful, Susanna came to our attention last year at the Arnold Classic Europe. I’m quite shy in real life, says Susanna, but once I’m on stage I open up, I feel great. I love presenting my routine. If that means this stunning beauty will be showing off her genetic gifts again soon, that’s great news. Until then, there's plenty more of this Hungarian goddess and her sizzling bod on YouTube.


SKADI FREI
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When FMS was compiling our list of favourite examples of German womanhood last year, this prime specimen was, naturally on the list. And when the researchers started to find out about Skadi’s life outside the sport, our admiration grew exponentially. It’s uncanny how often this happens when we research these fabulous women. We find there is so much more to them than their perfect bodies, that invariably they have achieved amazing things in other parts of their lives. Which brings us to…


MARTHE SUNDBY
Ever watched the Winter Olympics and admired the speed skaters’ legs? Well…
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Marthe swapped her blades for barbells in the mid-90s, and became national champion in 2006. She disappeared off the radar for a few years, so FMS were delighted when she returned to the stage last year to again clean up at the Norwegian championships. An exceptional sportswoman, and achingly beautiful with it. And those legs...


NANCY RICHARD
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40 this year, Nancy has three kids, and the kind of Amazonian body that can take your breath away, and that’s exactly what she’s been doing since we first saw her in a backstage contest-shape interview clip last year. Dark, beautiful looks, tanned and oiled, her pumped up muscles glistening, we all fell in love right then and there. But then she spoke... French! Je suis Nancy Richard… [je swee non-see ree-shar] she said. Oh my.


KAROLINA HOLUBCOVA
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The latest red hot muscle babe to emerge from the Czech Republic, she’s known as ‘Cute Karolina’ and it would be churlish to say that nickname wasn’t appropriate. Five foot tall, five per cent body fat, the kind of beautiful muscle-packed girl you always wished you lived next door to. Follow her on Facebook and/or Bodyspace.


More slushy heart-shaped muscle love tomorrow.

Enjoy!