MUSCLE: 10-15% (OFF)

Got muscle? Olympia bound Mindi O'Brien, Michelle Cummings, Kira Neuman (and her golden glootz) and Yasha - all winners in WPD Pro events in 2015.

This weekend is Olympia weekend, and for the first time the event - as I'm sure you know - is taking place without Women's Bodybuilding. Now you might not find yourself missing the Ms O quite as much as you would have if the Rising Phoenix hadn't been such a success, but you probably will - like me - miss it nonetheless. However, consolation is at hand in the stunning shapes of the thirty competitors who will be lining up in Las Vegas to hit their poses. The cream of the Women's Physique division.


Dani's gonna be there making her Olympia debut.

My advice would be to enjoy what show there is this year because new evidence suggests that not content with removing the big muscle women from their showpiece events, the IFBB are now turning their attention to the Physique and the Figure divisions with one aim in mind. Their mission, surprise surprise, is less muscle.


Hot and Hard 100 #10 Karina Nascimento was 4th at last year's Olympia.

In an interview with NPC News Online on the weekend of the 7th September, NPC & IFBB Pro League President Jim Manion announced the changes the IFBB is going to implement as of 2016 with the help of NPC/IFBB Head Judge Sandy Williamson.

It's the judging's fault, it's not the athletes, explained Head Judge(!) Williamson. We [judges] started to reward a little more size in both Figure and Women's Physique.

And this, apparently, is a bad thing.

Most of the athletes email me, Williamson continues, they email the national office, they don't want to see as much muscle. We know this as an organisation and we've done this before, we just need to tone back the muscle a little bit.


Gloria Faulls, one (of many) who is always emailing Sandy Williamson, the NPC and the IFBB complaining that they are ruining her life with their constant demand that she build more and muscle in order to succeed at their shows... apparently.

I wonder what they mean by "a little bit".

Wherever you are now, if you're at that top of the line, says Williamson, you just need to drop it back another 10-15%. Muscle bellies but nice lines, aesthetic lines.



Ceaanna Kerr, Dianne Brown, Ayanna Carroll & Jennifer Hernandez all competing in 2015. Dianne won her pro card just last year, Ceaanna won the Toronto Pro, Jennifer the Tampa Pro Masters, and Ayanna won in Orlando.

So, if I understand correctly - and I'm not saying I do because it seems to me that even Williamson is not very clear about what these changes mean and to whom - either all competitors, or only those competitors who are at the most muscular edge of their division, need to reduce (a whole new skill for a bodybuilder to learn) the amount of muscle on their frames by somewhere between 10 and 15% and achieve a look more pleasing to the eye. Well, more pleasing to the NPC/IFBB eye, anyway.

It's probably just me. I'm sure the women - the women who have been crying out to be given the opportunity to let 10-15% of the muscle they have worked so hard for waste away - know exactly what Williamson means. I'm sure, as well as being welcome news, that it's all crystal clear to them what the NPC/IFBB expect in 2016...

    Jacklyn Sutton Abrams, 12th at last year's Ms Physique Olympia.

Seriously though, I imagine this is not great news for the more muscular Physique ladies and the ex-Bodybuilding competitors who have made the transition down to Physique. With Women's Bodybuilding now marginalised, they have no way to go but smaller still. It's better news, perhaps, to the more muscular Figure competitor though, who at least has a choice whether to add a bit more muscle (not too much, mind) and move up to Physique or to lose those striations and stay in Figure.


Joan Smith, Figure champ in Atlantic City despite (or perhaps because of) being what Sandy Williamson calls "at that top of the line" for muscle in her division. A potential future Physique competitor? Joan's choice is either to lose 10-15% of that gorgeous muscle, or bulk up (just a bit, not too much) and move up a division.

So what's prompted this?

Forget all the "they're just anti-female muscle" explanations. If the women at the Rising Phoenix were making as much money for the IFBB and the NPC and the vested interests inside and outside the organisation as they are making for themselves through their various businesses (online or more hush-hush activities aimed at fans or otherwise), then the Women's Bodybuilding division would be present at a lot more of those IFBB Pro League shows. But they are not. And as much as we might not like it, that is because the appeal if the hyper-muscular look is limited.

Go out and talk to any of those bikini women, says Jim Manion - the man who brought you the Bikini division in the first place. I'll guarantee they're taking somebody's protein powder... they're probably taking more than most men tennis players.

A bizarre little speech, but a revealing one nonetheless. If you accept (albeit unwillingly) "Bikini" is the look more women aspire to than any other, it's only logical to assume that bikini girls sell more protein shakes than women who compete in the other classes. And the companies who make those protein powders, while some do sponsor women in other divisions, including those elite hyper-muscular female bodybuilders, earn so much more out of sponsoring the less muscular women.

Why do the IFBB/NPC care how much money the supplement companies make?

In a word: SPONSORSHIP.

So, get rid of the big female muscle freaks and tone down Physique and Figure so the women in those divisions also have more appealing looks to the mainstream. More women will aspire to those looks, and more tubs of protein will get sold as a result.

It's what you might call "anti-Freakonomics".


Leah Johnson: dying to shed some muscle, obviously.

Now I wouldn't for a moment expect the IFBB/NPC to give a monkey's about what I think - I'm just another one of those guys that Frank Sepe describes as "sitting in their mother's basement on a computer" - but you have to feel sorry for the women.

But unfortunately, as long as professional female bodybuilders as well as Physique competitors with aspirations towards a more muscular look remain under the control of Manion and his organisation, they will continue to have to adapt or give up.


Gorgeous Erica Blockman will be at the Olympia for the first time. She competed in Figure before she moved to the WPD in 2013. Within a year she had her pro card.

Or perhaps there is another way. Back in 2013 when the Ms International was dumped FMS wondered whether this would be the push female bodybuilding needed to break away from the IFBB altogether and set up its own, independent federation just as female tennis players had done back in the 1970s (see A Silver Lining?). Well, it's turned out that has not been the case, but the creation of the Rising Phoenix in response to the end of the Ms Olympia shows that there may be a way forward.


Tycie Coppett has top 3 Arnold and Olympia finishes on her CV.

Now I have no idea exactly how any of this might work, you understand. I'm just some guy "sitting in his mother's basement". But I can't help feeling that if the IFBB/NPC keep on failing the women competing in their shows, it just swells the numbers of those who would potentially join some imaginary break-away women's federation.

One can only hope.

And finally, the kind of thing that I imagine gives Mr Manion nightmares, courtesy of his federation's Ms Physique Olympia 2014, La Malacarne herself. From Juliana's Instagram, posted this week during her final preparations to defend her title...


La Malacarne and the muscle.

Now that's what my eye calls "aesthetic lines".

Enjoy 10-15% MORE MUSCLE on FMS all week this week.

Watch the whole NPC News Online Manion/Williamson interview on YouTube.
The discussion turns to the women's divisions at about the 10-minute mark.

Woman vs Food: Will Flex for Food

First up I just thought the title was catchy. I'm not suggesting these lovely ladies got their food on condition that they flexed for the camera. I think they just like showing off full stop. Whether it's in the privacy of their own kitchen/dining room and just for the benefit of the photographer, or whether it's in a public eating place for the benefit of the photographer and several unsuspecting members of the public, having their picture taken with their beloved feed is as good an opportunity as any for a gun show.



One look at NPC Figure competotir Ashley Sneathen's face and you can see it's not all about the food, it's about the display, all about the pride. Although havng said that, this picture does make me want to munch on something, but that's besides the point. Actually, Ashley is attending the Olympia and getting married too, so if you are a fan of those flexing bride shots, I imagine you'll want to start following her Instagram in the near future. The (also food-based) shot of Ashley below is a more recent one.



Congratulations to her and the lucky fella. I bet he proposed over dinner.



And here's another Ashley from the NPC Figure ranks, Ashley Nordman, taking time to show off her gains before sinking her pearly whites into that (rather tasty-looking) burger. Sadly, Ashley has decided to quit competing - her last show was the Team Universe in July. She says that wasn't the reason she quit, but she finished last in her class at the show, which - if you check out her contest gallery - is just wrong.



Over here in Europe, Figure is known as Bodyfitness, but wherever the competitors hail from and whatever you want to call the division, the restaurant flexing is the same, it's just the food that looks different. This muscular beauty is Slovakia's Ela Stračárová. Si to, čo ješ... says Ela, which apparently means "You are what you eat". Mala som hovädzie... som krava? she continues. "I had beef... Am I a cow?"



Does that mean Tracy Weller is a pancake?!



And Andrea Giacomi is sweet, like sugar?!

[That's enough! - ed.]

You don't need anything nearly so refined to get gorgeous Hanah Jamroz pumping her bicep with delight. What you need is MEAT (and I mean the kind that you eat). Doesn't have to be grilled, roasted or barbecued. Doesn't have to be marinaded. Doesn't even have to be seasoned. Just chuck a pack of meat in her direction and watch those big beautiful eyes light up and that, well, rather meaty arm get busy.



Hanah, aka "Hanjam", aka "The Ripped Barbie", is well worth a follow on Instagram. To say it's an action-packed ride would be something of an understatement. And you can also find out just how good a woman can look in a purple "Lift Heavy Shit" vest.

DREAM DATE #1



A plate of steak and potatoes for each of Melissa Wee's pythons, and, er, a bowl of pasta and a salad for the rest of her (I guess). Just don't forget to say Grace...

DREAM DATE #2



Karolina Borkovcova (formerly Holubcova) has got me swooning all over the place. A double world champ in 2015 (NABBA and WFF) Karolina was absolutely nowhere near San Antonio and the Rising Phoenix. Just saying.

Get yourself more Karolina than is probably healthy for you on her Instagram. She certainly does know how to take an exciting topless back selfie. Just saying.

How to end?

The most food? The biggest flex?

How about BOTH!



Shannon - also nowhere near San Antonio - with about a week's worth.

Enjoy!

Woman vs Food: Feed the Beast

We warned you...



Does Natalia look like she's in the mood to pose for a photograph? Never, EVER make a female bodybuilder wait for her food. In fact, never EVER prioritise ANYTHING over food. Moments later Natalia's date learned his lesson the hard way. It only hurts when he breathes now, but please, don't make the same mistake.
FMS 22nd July 2015, "Hot and Hard: FMS Approved"

Feed the beast.



When she gets up in the middle of the night for one of her bi-hourly "snacks", be ready to get that protein on the table quick snap. This will make Nathalia very very happy.



Keep that kind of service going during the day and she'll start to look at you with more than a little love in her eyes. See? And in case you're wondering, it's all hers.



Indeed, get used to eating after her - and make it quick because you'll need to start prepping that next meal before long. However, few would doubt the pleasure to be had watching Natalia eat - all that inadvertent (or perhaps even vertent) bicep flexing as she shovels the protein into her hungry mouth. Besides, by the time all of the dishes Natalia has ordered arrive on the table there's so little room left that it's impractical for you to get your order on there too, so it's better to wait anyway. Wait your turn.



I think she's about to get medieval on that sushi.

And if you are in any doubt about whether being Natalia's chef on call 24/7 would suit you, in case you're wondering if going hungry and always getting the (considerable) bill would all be worth it - I don't expect many of you are, but just in case - well, think of those moments you'll have, there before your very eyes, right across the table from you. Those moments that'll make you forget about all the toil in the kitchen, all the hunger pangs and all the rubles you've been spending. Moments like this one...



Enjoy!

Woman vs Food: A Classic Updated

Remember this?



If you do, you've probably, like me, been into female muscle since the magazine years. Swedish legend Veronica Dahlin, leotarded, impossibly beautiful, and displaying her bronzed muscle-bound upper body while shopping at a greengrocer's (near you?).

This picture certainly got my teenaged arse enthused about the weekly trip to Safeway's for a time, thoughts of encounters with Veronica-like muscle goddesses in the fresh fruit and veg section. Sadly, but unsurprisingly, my dreams never came true.

I didn't forget the picture though, and coming across it again recently (courtesy of one of those heroic scanners) I was struck firstly by how very very 80s it looks, but also by how similar it was to a recent post I'd seen by Susanna Tirpak on her Instagram.

What do you think?



Late nite shopping, Susanna says. Nothing all that exciting. Well, not unless you were lucky enough to be another late nite shopper at Susanna's local supermarket (or indeed a late nite shift pulling employee). I imagine for them it was something exciting...

No leotard. And the local greengrocer's has been replaced by a giant supermarket chain. Lettuce for watermelon. And more muscle - remember Veronica was a bodybuilder, Susanna, these days, "just" has the muscles of a Figure competitor!

Signs of the times.

Woman vs Food: Cooking with Dani

BARBEQUE [sic] CHICKEN PIZZA

Dani cooks up a treat for herself on her 25th birthday. Unlike the vast majority of Dani clips there's no real flexing, but in her little red vest she can't help but inadvertently flex those beautiful shoulders and arms. Who cares if she can't spell "barbecue"?



Even more cooking with Dani here.

Enjoy!

Woman vs Food: Eating with Suzy

Whenever I see (those rare) images of Suzy where she's not actually flexing, we wrote in our Hot and Hard 100 countdown, it always seems to me she's either just been flexing or that she's thinking that the very next thing she should do is have a damn hard flex. We may have been wrong about that. New evidence suggests that when she's not flexing, Super Suzy is thinking about something different altogether. Food.



And if they don't hurry up and serve her, there's going to be trouble. Those who are behind her in the queue may just spontaneously combust for one thing. Messy.




It's because of incidents like the one described above that Suzy has been spending less and less time in pink hotpants in public, and more and more time perfecting her culinary skills in the safety of her own home. And flexing while she's at it.



But she does still get out and about from time to time. And any restaurant with Suzy in is almost guaranteed to be out of tables before she's cleaned her plate. This place was empty when the dude with the baseball cap walked in and plonked himself opposite the only other person in the restaurant at the time - Excuse me, is this seat free?

Enjoy!

Woman vs Food: Baby Want Beef

FMS fave Asha Hadley is a lady in the street, a beast in the gym, and obviously something like Lord Greystoke before he got all civilised in a restaurant...



At least she's using a fork this time.

Enjoy!

Woman vs Food: She Eats

I sometimes wonder whether female bodybuilders become female bodybuilders just so they can eat like a female bodybuilder. It seems no other women on the planet outside the catering industry itself spend as much time thinking, talking or writing about food as female bodybuilders do. And when they're not doing that they're cooking it.



And eating. Even my wife's woefully obese former colleague (the kind of woman who seeps under the armrest when she's sitting next to you on a plane) doesn't eat as much as a female bodybuilder does - and trust me, this woman eats a LOT.



But on top of that, female bodybuilders fantasise about food. A comfort eater like my wife's fat friend has fantasies too, but whereas she satisfies her cravings as soon as she can, the female bodybuilder has to be disciplined about it. And it's in that waiting time - counting down the hours to the next cheat meal, or (most disciplined of all) dieting before competition - that their cravings reach levels no comfort eater has ever abstained long enough to experience. Consequently - when it's time for her cheat meal, or when the competition is over - satisfying that craving is, well, rather satisfying.



And the more pleasurable the food seems, the more the female bodybuilder's subconscious associates food with pleasure, and so it continues. Lots of eating, a little cheating, extreme dieting, and then the reward of whole right side of the menu.



Do I know what I'm talking about? Of course I don't! But one look at Jodi Boam's reaction to that somewhat humble burger and chips and you know I'm right. Have you ever seen a woman look so happy, so ecstatic to be eating something so simple? I wouldn't be at all surprised if she's having a full-on foodgasm right there, the smell of it alone setting off joyful KA-BOAMs big and small that are spreading all over her beautiful, peaking body... Have another look. A good look. Don't you see that?



So does food hold the key to the female bodybuilder's heart? Perhaps it does. Cook me food, buy me food, bring me food or BE food is what they say. But we actually do have evidence in this clip starring Rene Campbell that - even if you won't necessarily win her heart - being prepared to carry her shopping and having a few skills in the kitchen will, at the very least, buy you some time with a female bodybuilder.



I doubt Rene shares her "soup gone a bit wrong", which is even better news for the dude who measures her cabbage. I doubt any female bodybuilders share. With all that attention they pay to what they eat (or, in Rene's case, drink) and how much of it they eat (or drink), nicking something off her plate is, I imagine, very verboten.



Go ahead, she's saying. Make my day.



We're gonna need a bigger kitchen...



Dry cereal?! For me?! I LOVE you!!!



Woman vs Food all week on FMS.

Enjoy!