Now, I think we can all agree that there are definitely not enough women in the world who have well-developed biceps. Seeing them in real life is such a rare occurrence for me that I am forced to scour the internet for them! This rarity has an effect on the general idea, the concept, of what biceps on a woman looks like.
Now, me and you, when we think of female biceps, might imagine those displayed by Sarah Hayes above, or maybe Birgita’s magnificent pair. We might just as well imagine Nataliya Romashko’s works in progress, or [name removed by request] flexing both barrels as she opens the door to welcome us to her home for a night of muscle worship. This is our concept of a female bicep. Our bicept.
[image removed by request]But the others, those cursed with an aversion to muscular women, or those that simply don’t scour the internet for images of them, where does their biception come from?
Today I overheard a conversation while I was tucking into my green curry at Greenwich Market. Two women were talking about a mutual friend and how big her biceps were getting. They weren’t being negative, just incredulous that this friend seemed to like showing off her big arms.
Apart from thoughts of getting to know the women at the next table so I could get to see their friend showing off her arms, images started to spring to mind. Images of women with big arms. Images that reflect my bicept. Images like this one of the gorgeous Lyris Capelle.
They mentioned her fiancée (Curses! Foiled again!) and suddenly something like this flashed through my mind.
‘Too big’, I found myself thinking. This was, after all, the real world. They couldn’t be that big. Big for most people is something like this.
I’m not complaining by the way, I think they are just lovely, and I’d be proud to rub oil into either one. Or both if absolutely necessary
But then I really did come back to the real world. One of the women said ‘If she keeps going like this, she’ll be like Cameron Diaz.’ What?! As big as Cameron’s?! And not even yet, but at some point in the future ‘if she keeps going like this’?!
The general bicept, therefore, seems to be that Cameron Diaz has huge arms for a woman, whereas our group bicept is something quite different..
I wish I could have opened up the laptop and given them a taste of Alina Popa fully-pumped, Heather Policky (what would they have said about her legs?!) or Danielle Gardner, who has just slammed the door, flexed her arms and told you that she isn’t going to let you out till she’s finished with you.
If I’d shown them Carla Rossi (one bigger than the other, but both far far bigger than Cameron Diaz’s) or Amanda Micka’s big round baseballs, would it have altered their bicept forever?
Some people think it would have. And have set up a scheme whereby other women’s bicept can be re-aligned. Female bodybuilders visit women’s groups, show off their guns, and as a result, the next time one of their friend’s has arms that could maybe one day rival Cameron Diaz’s, they don’t express surprise at how big they are and get me all excited, waste my valuable Christmas shopping time, only to kill all my hopes because of their faulty, and no, I don’t think that’s too strong a word, faulty concept of what a female bicep is.
Rebecca Armstrong is seen here at one of these bicept re-alignment events. She seems to be enjoying it a little more than the other women present, doesn’t she? It’s never nice to find out you’ve been getting it all wrong. And there’s nothing better than being the one to tell them!
Enjoy!
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