Party Season Part 1: Party Dresses

In an article in Wales Online this week I was delighted to learn that women are steering away from Kate Moss body ambitions, with more women wanting to look strong, fit and healthy. I’m not sure I agree with the author that Celebrities like Beyonce, Christina Hendrix and Kim Kardashian, are promoting healthy, strong and curvy figures - maybe I haven’t been paying attention, but I don’t think these women have suddenly got themselves muscles, have they? But despite that, the message that It’s not cool to be uber skinny anymore is obviously one I can get behind and applaud.

Nevertheless, the advice contained in the rest of the article about exercise - all of it good advice (don’t be afraid of weights, eat lots etc etc) - was not attempting to promote muscularity and the kind of curves I, and, I dare say you, would most like to see. Rather it claimed to hold the secret of how you can 'Exercise Your Way into that Christmas Party Dress'. So, all in all it was about how to drop a dress size.

But if, as both the article and this blog have claimed, the image women have of the ideal body is changing to something more athletic, more muscular, would I find the fashion media reflecting this? So I decided to do a little research into the world of the ‘Must Have Christmas Party Dress’ article. Not the kind of thing I would normally do, but I was curious, and hopeful.

Well, I’d like to say that the media has failed to throw up many images of strong, fit and healthy women in their rundowns of what to wear this party season, but I can’t. Unsurprisingly, I haven’t found a single image of a healthy, strong and curvy figure at all. Not one. Nothing. Nada.



Does this mean that the fashion media has yet to catch up with changing perceptions or is it just that in an Olympic year Jessica Ennis’ body tops polls of ‘What Women Want’, but this time next year it’ll be a more conventional body type that’s back in favour again? Actually, they may not even be mutually exclusive, both may be true. But anyway, FMS feels it’s time somebody offered an antidote to all this thinnery. After all, there are muscular women out there (somewhere!) and they need to let their hair down as much as the next girl. Why can’t they have their own article about what to wear this Christmas party season?






[Maybe it's because I'm getting older and a bit set in my ways, maybe it's just that I pay almost no attention to mainstream concepts of a desirable body shape, but I can't help feeling that when you put them side to side like this that there is absolutely no contest whatsoever.]


The snag was that nobody, and I mean nobody, here at FMS knows the first thing about fashion. But fortunately the advice found in the fashion media was, with a little adaptation, just as good for the women I wanted to write for as it was for the women it intends to cater for. So, with a message of ‘Get Some Muscle on Yer Models’ to all those fashion editors, we are delighted to bring you…


This Year’s Must Have Christmas Party Dresses for the Muscular Woman


They say: For all-out glamour this party season invest in a long evening dress in a style that flatters your body shape.

We say: Long dresses are fine, but below the waistline make sure it’s slitted for effortless flaunting of your lovely shapely legs when you hit the dance floor. Alternatively, a loose flowing skirt that can easily be lifted guarantees a Wow factor.

They say: With a riot of red seen on the AW12 catwalks, it makes perfect sense that the trend is big for Christmas party dresses. From super sleek shift dresses to embellished, full skirted cocktail dresses, this is one trend that’s bound to get you noticed come party time.

We say: It’s Christmas. Wear red. You’ll be the sexiest little helper Santa ever had.

They say: Don a slip-dress and you'll be one step closer to shutting down a room.

We say: Don a slip-dress and you’ll not only shut down a room, but the entire building. The shorter it is, the more of your legs you can display, but leave something to the imagination, however little.

They say: A metallic party dress is a great go-to piece for your wardrobe. If you can brave the cold it would look best teamed with bare legs. Just make sure you stock up on the fake tan.

We say: Keep it short to show of those beautiful, muscular calves, thighs and hamstrings. Go strapless – you haven’t been pounding those arms and shoulders all year to keep them hidden, have you? Gold is the colour of the year and will compliment your bronzed skin tones. You’re probably not short of fake tan, so no worries there.

They say: While the invites with dress codes for ‘festive attire’ pour in, have a little fun with the hostess by pairing a sexy, unexpected material like PVC or pleather with a more classic one.

We say: With a body like yours, you’re going to get lots of attention anyway, so if you want to make sure you get absolutely all of it, forget the pairing, just go for the PVC (or ‘pleather’, whatever that is). Kinky boots optional.

They say: Show some skin, but just a chic peek. Be sure to balance any flaunting with a conservative hemline.

We say: You have a beautiful body, desired by men and women alike. Show as much skin as you feel you can get away with. Keep hemlines up and necklines down. Put all the results of the hard work you've put in, all the sacrifices you've made, on full display. Shock and awe this Christmas.

Enjoy!