Wednesday, 24 January 2018

January Clearance! [I-K]

"Too many to feature here" is a phrase I seem to have typed a lot over the past year, referring to the vast number of women and/or images the female muscle head is faced with in these instant information times. On the upside, you never go short. The downside for the blogger is there are far too many to feature here - there I go again.

It felt wrong just to forget about the women we intended to feature at some stage during 2017 but didn't. Firstly, the fact they have come to our attention at all is the result of some pretty solid sifting by the FMS research team, and it would just be plain rude to ignore all that hard work. And secondly, it's not the case that we once thought these women were worth posting about and don't anymore - we still do.

The solution we came up with is The FMS January Clearance - we're going to feature all the women who are taking up space in the "TBC" folder on the 2017 planner. And you're getting them all together in a sort of but not really alphabetical order (you'll see what I mean). Further your enjoyment by clicking on the names.

Five beautiful bods a day for seven days. Have fun!


IPEK ALTUN

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She might be much less famous than some of her countrywomen, but Turkey's #1 Bodyfitness competitor is the most successful of all of them, and has earned everything she gets. She did (at least, I mean these are just the ones we know about) 5 international contests in 2017 - her best results (again, this is what we know, which may not be all) were silver medals at the Diamond Cup in Rome and the Olympia Amateur in Spain - and finished 3rd in the 2017 IFBB Bodyfitness rankings.

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A striking beauty, Ipek seems to be a hard trainer - those pec veins don't just appear, do they? - and she also seems to know what she's doing with other kinds of meat.

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What's not to like?!

Not to be confused with another Ipek with muscles, WBFF Fitness Pro Ipek Yildirim.


IVANA DVORAKOVA

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Some ladies' social media is, for all the pictures of their beautiful bodies, a bit samey, a bit bland. Not so Ivana Dvorakova's. Caption for the above - "This flat won't clean itself!" Check her out - you might well end up, like me, thinking this Czech domestic goddess is, on top of the beautiful body, probably quite a lot of fun to hang out with.

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31-year-old Ivana did, until 2017, compete in Bodyfitness, but last year she refused not to grow and (like so many women currently) switched to the Physique division. A 3rd place at the late season Diamond Cup in Milan was her reward. And pizza, obvs.

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Reminds me of Jackie Hague a bit - which is certainly not a bad thing!


JENNIFER ULLMER

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From Germany, Jennifer has been one of the top Junior Bodyfitness competitors in Europe over the last couple of years, and she also won at senior level for the first time in 2017 - becoming national champion. But it's not been for her contest results but for her other (obvious) charms that she's come to the attention of the fan forums.

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The collective we especially like her pecs.

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Give her a leading role in a new primetime series! demands one excitable Ullmerette. She is awesome - beautiful, confident, and carries her muscle so naturally. Exactly what a leading lady should look like. And she probably wouldn't have too much trouble fending off the unwanted advances of horny producers either - exactly the kind of skill leading ladies have been sadly lacking over the years, more's the pity.


OLESYA GOMBERGER KACHUR

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A Russian FBB who styles herself as "She Hulk" and isn't Natalya Trukhina or Kuznetsova? Guess we can safely assume Olesya isn't easily intimidated.

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Maybe she thinks she's safe down in her so-south-it-is-almost-Georgia base. Maybe she's already done a deal with Natalya - "You be "She-Beast", I'll be "She-Hulk".

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And you can probably guess from this nonsense that I don't know much info about Olesya, but I know what I like, and that beautiful body covered only in tape is it.

Not to be confused with Alessy Kochura, Russian Bodyfitness phenom, who, let's face it, was a mere typo away from actually being one of your five-a-day today.


KRISTEN NUN

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Not that I'm complaining - what a bull! - but does anyone have any photos of her that are not taken in the gym with Kristen wearing her baseball cap backwards?

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No, as was pointed out to the forum poster, they don't. And nor do they know much about Kristen either, other than that that gym's in Kansas, and that she usually wears vests that are black. Some diligent research by the FMS team has, however, shown that she also owns others that are purple, grey, white, and even pink! But such mystery hasn't stopped (perhaps it's actually encouraged) the fascination the female muscle lovin' brethren have quickly developed for this undeniable meat feast for the eyes.

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Only other thing we can tell you is she likes to do a bit of shooting, often with (what to my "no-guns-please-we're-British" eyes looks like) pretty specialised weaponry. Perhaps she's not giving much away because she can't... Or she'd have to kill us.

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