Tales of the Towel: Towel Classic Part1

It's 2005, and 38 year-old Mimi Jabalee is about to take the Overall title at the 2005 Nationals. In her hotel room, three pictures destined for the Hall of Fame are taken...



I believe they were probably taken by Mimi's then partner Amanda Dunbar, or at least that's the legend. And despite (or perhaps because of) her fairly short career and single pro appearance (Tampa, 9 years later in 2014), "legend" is a pretty accurate way to describe Mimi's place in the collective female muscle lovin' consciousness.

"One of the hottest female bodybuilders I ever laid eyes on," claims one lucky soul. "One of the most attractive women ever to grace the sport," says another. "A miracle of muscles," says one true believer, riffing on the theme because it was after Mimi "found Jesus", as they say (or perhaps it was the other way round) that she left the world of competition. She apparently devotes her life to a different religion nowadays.

No reason why we shouldn't keep worshipping in the same old way though!



Still rather gorgeous at 50 on Facebook.

Tales of the Towel: Going... Going... Gone!

I wanna be reincarnated as that towel...



Sadly, this is not something that FMS (or anyone else as far as I know) can arrange. However, the opportunity to own the towel... well, it has passed, I'm sorry to say.

A quick whip round at the FMS office mustered enough for an early £20 bid, and for 2.3 glorious seconds it was all ours, but the fiercely-contested auction at Schuler's in Zurich ended with Cindy's towel ultimately being sold for the whopping sum of 3,000 Swiss Francs (just over €2,500) to an anonymous bidder from Singapore.

I doubt it will ever see the light of day again.

Sunday Sizzler

Italy's Physique Olympian Doina "The Tiger" Gorun provides this week's Sunday sizzle with two bath time pics reminiscent of similar images featuring Cindy Landolt (and probably others). These two went down almost as soon as they were up on the forums, so my advice is grab them quick as I can't guarantee they'll be here tomorrow.



Grab the images, I mean.



Doina can be seen weraing just a little more than this when photographed by Juan Carlos Lopez for the July 2017 edition of e-magazine Hardfitness (still going, you know), and though never quite this racy, you can catch The Tiger on Instagram.

Enjoy!

Fancy a Date?

Female bodybuilders are competitive chicks who like to be fit and look good even if it means spending countless hours at the gym every single day and not socializing outside of bodybuilding circles, reads the press release. As this sport is an obsession, until recently - unless the men were pumping iron themselves - it was almost impossible to come across them. But all that's changed thanks to Female Bodybuilder Dating, which has vowed to make as many matches with muscle chicks as possible, and finally make dating a female bodybuilder a reality. They might not meet the pros, but they definitely do meet iron chicks next door who make their fantasies come true.


Ashley Dishman probably making someone's fantasy come true

It's a real thing, this Female Bodybuilder Dating "community", and as far as I know, not a new thing at all. Nevertheless, this apparently vigorous marketing campaign - from bitter experience we know that if FMS is getting sent a press release, then they really are sending it to anybody! - is a recent thing. It doesn't take long before they start asking you for some subs, but as far as I (or you, if you're interested) can freely see, the promise of "iron chicks next door" who are seeking is not too far wide of the mark.


Date Night - Victoria Puentes, sadly not your typical "iron chick next door"

And if you should happen to get a match, you might want to drop by the forum whose first rule is before you do go out on that date. One member with (apparently) plenty of FBB dating experience has recently taken to the boards to share his "confessions" regarding relationships he has had with three separate women, met "through Facebook". The first was "her country's top champion for a couple of years", the second also a national champion who "has now won many international competitions", and the third a natural bodybuilder competing at (and winning) international competitions.


"Does my back look big in this?" Kashma (right) and Margita are all about the lats

If you are like me, you will be trying to work out who he is talking about (especially lady #2), but apart from that it is undeniably intriguing stuff as he charts the beginnings, middles and ends of all three relationships and the lessons he has learned as a result. Look for "How to Date FBBs - Confessions" in the General Chat section.


Tigress to impress - Diana Schnaidt

You may also, like me, skim through the courtship blurb and go straight to the "SEX" section, where you will find all your fantasy suspicions confirmed. Sex with #1, his first experience with a female bodybuilder, remember, was "mind-blowing". #2 was "a dream come true" who "loved being on top and flexing for me", while #3 was "a screaming tigress in bed" who wanted it "long and hard" to such an extent that it wasn't too long before he was having to take Cialis for "the stamina I needed to satisfy".


Up close and personal with Maz Burns' bicep

Ultimately, however, his conclusion is a somewhat disheartening one for those of you who are desperately seeking. This [third, most] long-term relationship lasted a couple of years and gave me the full experience of being the partner of an FBB, he says. Whilst at times exhilarating and fulfilling in many ways, it led me to the conclusion that it would be better if any future long-term partner of mine was not an FBB.


Moving out? Ashley Hromyak

You might find his stories lead you to the same conclusion, but you might also find, as I do, that his reasoning is a tad flawed. His posts are considerably more interesting than the usual dross served up on those boards, and much appreciated for that, but his (and similar accounts I have read over the years) never end well, and the blame for that tends to be laid at the woman's door every time, while in my (not inconsiderable) experience of relationships, the opposite is almost always true. Relationships end because men (whether they admit or are even aware of it or not) want them to.


They do normal stuff too, right? But Kayleigh Farrell carries more than the average female

Are relationships with female bodybuilders - fantasy sex aside! - really so different? Only one way to find out for sure, and that would start with a date. Female Bodybuilder Dating want to help. Our friend from the forum recommends Facebook. You might also consider the more radical idea of joining a serious gym and being serious about it.


Angelica Enberg - note she's in a gym

That is, after all, what the female bodybuilders themselves recommend!


And Kristen Nun - in a GYM

I wish you luck.

Pic of the Week

THAT MOMENT HE REALISED HIS GIRL WASN'T GONNA WIN...



"How do I look, baby?"

"Er... AMAZING! Top 2 for sure..."

UKBFF British 2017: Donna Murphy

Runner-up in the taller of two Bodyfitness classes in 2014, victim of the judges "firm stance against the more muscular [Bodyfitness] competitors" the following year, this was Donna Murphy's third British finals, but her first in the Physique division.



To qualify for the British Championships she had placed first in the Physique division at a regional show - the UKBFF West Midlands - two weeks previously. Prepared by Mr Corinne Ingman, Jordan Peters, tanned (and egged on) by Britain's IFBB Physique pro Carly Thornton, Donna was way too good for the competition on the day, but more importantly, "absolutely loved" the Physique experience. I feel I've found a class that suits me, she said afterwards. It felt great to be in this class for the first time. Women's Physique is a class I have always enjoyed following. And she epitomised everything she loves about it - "muscularity, elegance, and feminine muscle".



Two weeks later and she was "sipping on wine, chilled and having fun before show day" in her hotel - "naked wine drinking is the best part", apparently! - Donna was shadowed by friend of FMS and Brit super muscle photographer Rebecca Andrews, who captures her in all her golden glory (Donna says "tangerine", I say "golden").



Quite honestly, it would have been an enormous let-down if she hadn't won, but even the UKBFF couldn't f*** this one up. Donna has achieved, to borrow a phrase from Paige Sandgren (who we featured on Monday), "a package the judges can't deny".




So here she is, Britain's new Physique champion.



Endearingly, it seems like the only person who wasn't expecting it was Donna herself. And it also seems like she still hasn't quite realised what she has built, and what she might yet be capable of. With her looks and genetics, and the top-notch team she has behind her, the only limit to what she might achieve is the limit of her own ambition.



Follow the next stage of her journey on Instagram.



Congratulations Donna!

Igor Kopcek @UKBFF British 2017

It's absolutely unprecedented! Krish Kataria (centre, 1st), Livia Melo (right, 2nd), and
Zulmira Woodrow (left, 3rd) flex their muscles after the up to 163cm Bikini class awards

Yes yes YES! It's absolutely unprecedented, and most welcome - FMS' favourite female muscle contest lensman, Eastlabs' Igor Kopcek, was at the recent UKBFF British Championships doing what he does so well. For once, I am able to put together a report on the show where my problem is not where to find images without big f*** off watermarks saying DO NOT F***ING COPY all over them, but how to choose which of the 2,799(!) images of the female classes to include. I've been in heaven for the last few hours, and I don't mind admitting it. Mr Kopcek, I doff my chapeau to you, sir!


Jo Griffiths, 6th, Masters Bodyfitness

Of course, I'm still going to have whine about the paucity of information available regarding the results. Were it not for John Plummer's excellent reports on the UKBFF Facebook page (I ask you, what kind of federation has its results released via Facebook by a third party?), I'd know even less than the top six in each class that I do know.




Many of the winners and high finishers from Nottingham (the show's now traditional setting) were those who had competed and in many cases done so well for Britain in Barcelona at the Arnold Classic Europe a few weeks before. Sandra Mackie became Britain's first ever "Wellness" Queen, and Marta Mila the new Junior Bikini champ. Connie Slyziut won her second consecutive Junior Bodyfitness title, and Samantha Forbes the up to 163cm Bodyfitness class before being crowned Overall winner too.




However, Danielle Osborn, Britain's big Bodyfitness winner in Barcelona, didn't fare quite so well. In the over 163cm Bodyfitness class, she placed only 3rd. Now I've got nothing against class winner Anna Banks, good on her, but if any of the UKBFF Bodyfitness judges would like to get in touch and explain to FMS exactly why it is that the woman on the right beats the woman on the left, I promise I will be all ears.



There was a tense few days after the photos from the Saturday had gone up on Eastlabs before Sunday's were added. Tense because Women's Physique was the sole female event on the Sunday. Had Igor just come for the Wellness and Bikini bums and flown home early? I wondered. Thankfully, the answer was no, and while he took more photos of just bums (and I mean "just", whole frame = a bum) in the Wellness and Bikini classes than all of the Physique division put together, by the following Wednesday, our Linda and her UKBFF Physique sisters had been added to the gallery. Phew!


Physique Dreams: FMS fave Hayley Brylewski (left), and Anita Tryc (6th)

And talking of bums... Linda had a bit of an issue on and off stage. I couldn’t contract my quads or lower back, and I was shaking like a shitting dog, she explains. People have said it was because I was posing too hard and nerves, but no, it was my ASS. It had locked up and trapped my nerves in my back and legs. And despite the pain and the "locked up" glutes, and her inability to flex her quads or lower back properly, and the "shaking like a shitting dog" (don't you just LOVE her!) she still placed 3rd!



The contest marked the UKBFF British debut of the current NABBA Trained Figure Ms Universe Emma Gormley. Like Linda before her, Emma has made the switch to Women's Physique from the most venerable federation of them all. A lot less peeled, and somewhat more covered in the bum area than she was when she won last November, she placed 5th here in her first UKBFF national level appearance.



4th in the Physique class was UKBFF vet Ade Bishop, who FMS knew of (thanks only to Mr Kopcek and Eastlabs) from international contests such as the Arnold Europe and various Diamond Cups over the last couple of years. This was Ade in by far her best ever shape, and she was perhaps a bit unlucky not to be rewarded with a top 3 placing.


Ade Bishop (left, 4th), and Andrea Corbett (right, 2nd)

A lot happier - probably the happiest woman on stage even though she didn't win - was runner-up Andrea Corbett, another UK Physique trooper in European contests who rarely gets placed near the top. Again, nothing against Andrea, congratulations to her, but while I've got the UKBFF judge on the line educating me about the Bodyfitness criteria, perhaps they could also fill me in as to why Andrea finished above Ade.



And the winner was...

Tune in tomorrow for a dose of serious star quality.



Isn't it a shame we - and more importantly all the wonderful UKBFF British ladies - have had to wait until 2017 to get top-notch, comprehensive, and freely available photo coverage? I can't help wishing Igor had been there in 2014 to see your Hot and Hard 100 #5 Sarah Williams win the Physique title, or Ria Ward the year before that, or he'd been there back in 2011 to see Rene Campbell become the UK's Queen of Muscle, or indeed the year before that, when Rene was runner-up to Lisa Cross... [seriously? 2,799 photos and you're still not satisfied? tut tut - ed.]

Full galleries here. Enjoy! It may be the one and only time...