FMS Hearts the WPD Olympians: Kira

Relax. Physique is Lightweight, Middleweight and Light-heavyweight Bodybuilding in disguise, or at least that's what it has turned out to be, despite the complaints of some of the (less muscular) Physique women themselves. And until the IFBB/NPC bigwigs do see their plans to "tone it down by 10-15%" come to fruition, that means there's lots and lots of beautiful female muscle in the division, especially when the cream gather as they did in Las Vegas a couple of weeks ago. Yes of course we miss the Ms O, but that didn't stop us enjoying the Physique Olympia, and all this week on FMS we're going to be paying tribute to these spectacular, muscular women.

So relax, get comfy, and enjoy!

KIRA NEUMAN: ONCE A BODYBUILDER...


A modestly made up Kira relaxes backstage in Las Vegas

Can't remember where I read it, but there was definitely at least one Olympia preview that had Kira as a potential winner. And though I don't pretend to know much about these things, it made sense to me that she was going to be a contender. I was only going on the fact that for me Kira's beautiful muscular behind, her "Golden Glutes" as I like to call them, had provided some of the most memorable images of the year so far when she'd won in Chicago in July. 2nd place at her first Olympia confirmed all suspicions. And pro that she is, she made damn sure the audience, and more importantly the judges got a good hard look at her mind-blowing muscle bum. Lucky judges!




Kira, as I'm sure you remember was, once upon a time, a bodybuilder, winning her pro card back in 2012 at the NPC Nationals by taking the light-heavyweight class. A snapshot of her back then makes an interesting contrast with the 2015 WPD Kira...



Note the 2015 smile, too. In the name of research it's fair to say I have looked at plenty of images of Kira on stage (or otherwise) at the Olympia, and I could count the images in which she isn't grinning from ear to ear on the fingers of my one available hand. Kira admitted to "loving every freaking minute of this experience", and as we shall see as the week progresses, she wasn't the only one. Yes, we may sulk that the big girls weren't there - although I doubt Margie Martin was doing much sulking, she was probably out spending - but for the women who were there, to be an Olympian engenders a kind of individual and collective euphoria, which Kira was most certainly feeling.




Another common theme - perhaps not unique to the Olympia but even so - is the intense camaraderie among the Physique competitors. Kira was giving big love to her "sweetheart angel sister" Sheronica Henton, Juliana Malacarne - "my inspiration and motivation" - and "new frandssssss" Dani Reardon and Jamie Postill among others on her Instagram, but it was Mikaila Soto - "my big sis" - who gets the most love. She took me under her wing and I couldn't be more grateful, says Kira.


Kira and "big sis" Mikaila Soto hit the after party

All in all then, Kira's Olympia debut seems like it couldn't have gone any better. Unforgettable for her - new "frandsssss", new family, and a place at the WPD top table. Unforgettable for us too - that posing suit must have been right on the legal limit rear-end wise, and while we are being naughty, her choice of outfit for the after party in all its pec cleavage revealing glory will surely stay long in the memory as well.


Do my pecs look big in this? A rare pic of Kira's serious Olympia face

Wow, what a year! Kira gushed afterwards. Having competed for 7 years straight, I needed a break! And I came back with a passion and fire to be my best and enjoy and love the process of prepping. People ask what was different in this prep and I say well for one I did it on my own, coached myself and secondly, I absolutely loved the process. It wasn't easy prepping from January to September but it was worth it! There were times I wanted to throw in the towel and give up and then the self doubt set in but I knew that I couldn't take this chance for granted. And it was my dream to stand on the Olympia stage! I really never thought it would happen...




I think it's fair to say it was worth the wait!

Feel the joy with the Physique Olympians all week on FMS...

Chicago II: Swell's Picks

I got rather serious about events in Toronto last month, and I have already been serious about Helle Trevino's triumph in Chicago, so it's probably time I redress the balance with a more light-hearted kind of contest report. Besides, Chicago was, it seems to me, something of a joyous occasion for the female muscle head. No bikini classes, just open Fitness, Figure, Physique and Bodybuilding - and Masters' Figure, Physique and Bodybuilding to boot. Seven classes and eighty women in all.

Yes, granted, for those of us who weren't lucky enough to actually be there, it did seem to take an eternity for images of the contest to become available, but the quality of the female muscle on show in every division combined with the fact that the one photographer there was Chris Nicoll to mean that since those images have become available, we've all been wading knee deep in female muscle gold.

Apologies to the meatheads' Figure favourite on the Muscular Development play-by-play, runner-up Wendy Fortino. Apologies too to the ever lovely Mindi O'Brien and her legendary biceps, and to all the Fitness ladies (not least Marta Aguiar) and all their gymnastic fantastic moves. Apologies to the Physique gorgeousness of Rose Brunner and runner-up Sheronica Henton. And finally, apologies (and a big ol' FMS *SWOON*) to the dazzling smile, the lats for miles, and the itsy-bitsy waist of second-time Figure winner Cydney Gillon.

Sadly, none of the above have made it into our review today. Who's to say that by the time I've finished here all of them won't be glad that they were spared?! But anyway if you want to find out if your favourite has made the cut, then read on...

THE FMS BEST OF CHICAGO 2015

10 ROXANNE'S ABS



She may have finished way down in the WPD, but there aren't too many women out there in any division that can hold a candle to Roxanne's sexy six-pack. And as always it was her best feature that she reserved her special big smile for. Crunch and shine!

9   THE (BIENNIAL) FLOWER



You would have thought from some of the ridiculousness on the forums that she hadn't competed since 1995 ("OMG! Lora's back!" etc. etc.) but like the "Bridal veil" spirea outside my front door, Lora in fact flowers every two years these days - her most recent previous outing had been at the 2013 Tampa Pro. As flowerings go, this wasn't the most resplendent - hair not great, tan all but forgotten, conditioning... I could go on. Still, remember that video of Lora pumped, naked and sweating as she rides her man in bed, her granite glutes harder and denser with every thrust? Reckon it qualifies her for some slack. So I've changed my mind. She looked AMAZING.

8  NATHALIE THOMPSON'S GOOD HAIR DAY



After an FMS tip-off, Chris De Burgh is now working on the lyrics to what will be his own homage to Nathalie and to his 1986 smash. Working title: "Lady in Dreds". I'm down to shoot the video. Concept: Nathalie Thompson, tiny bikini, dreds all over the place and much much oil. Altogether now! Lady in dreeeeeds, Is flexing for me...

7   BELLE BACK ON THE FLOOR





We warned you back in May that Isabelle Turell's return to competition was imminent, and here she is. And if Belle's back on stage, it can only mean that sexy flexy down and dirty lat spread and double biceps combo. Seriously, a woman who can pull off a move like this, well, she doesn't really need to try any harder, does she? Look at the muscles in her inner thigh as she goes down... Health warning swoonage!

6  BEEF!




Not Beef from Vic & Bob, silly! Prime female muscle beef. And in the Bodybuilding classes there was lots and lots and lots of it. Our selection today includes Danish, Argentinian, American and Spanish varieties, courtesy of Irene Andersen (looking good, by the way, being a film star obviously agrees with her), Open runner-up and Masters' champ Maria Rita Bello, Angela Rayburn (a very nice bit of rump there I think you will agree), and ol' beefy lips herself, Virginia Sanchez Macias.

5  BUMS!




With many of the WPD ladies opting for the more-revealing style posing suit (one or two wouldn't have looked out of place at a NABBA show), those "trained to within an inch of their lives" glootz were being displayed as is right and proper. Top left to bottom - yes, I said bottom - right: Laura Foster, Andrea Holliday, Miava Nelson, and Jen Louwagie. No wonder the WPD puts so many bums on seats.

4  TRACY HESS




*SWOON*

3  WHY NO LOVE FOR MARGIE?




Last year she could do no wrong, this year she's not even getting into the top 6. What's going on? Why all of a sudden are the judges so impervious to Margie's obvious charms? Is it that they are marking her down for having far too good a time on that stage? Is she losing points as their dry-cleaning bills rise? We have a right to know!

2  ASHA & ME



Well, she still doesn't know it, but we've still got a thing, me and Asha, Asha and me. And while - as with Margie - the judges don't show Asha much love, as long as she keeps postin' herself getting all beast in the gym on her Instagram and as long as she keeps flexin' those abs on stage, that thing of ours is just going to keep on keepin' on.

1  NEUMAN!




The winner, and on the evidence here a winner who might be able to make the "unbeatable" Malacarne sweat a little in Las Vegas, Kira Neuman had me sold as soon as she turned around and faced the back of the stage. Sadly, our old friend C. Moore Glootz is unavailable for comment at this time, but I'm sure, wherever they've transferred him to now, that he's got his protractor out and is measuring every angle on that beautiful bottom in an effort to mathematically prove its perfection. He's like a modern-day Da Vinci in that way. Beauty through applied mathematics.

Or something.

More pictures? Click here.

Enjoy!