Sunday, 13 May 2012

Size Matters: A Fantasy Contest

Imagine you could have a female bodybuilding contest where all the competitors were your favourites, and they would be at their absolute peak irrespective of the era they actually competed in. Kind of like Bill and Ted, you have a time machine and you can travel back and forth in time collecting your favourite FBBs for your dream show.

After much thought, probably too much, I narrowed my favorite FBBs down to twenty and will illustrate the post with the competitors I have selected in alphabetical order by surname. Meanwhile, I'll explain the format of the show, its rules, and how the judging will work.

So, to kick off, with a title borrowed from the excellent Erotic Female Muscles,
Female Muscle Slave presents its very own...


The Judges
Me and two of my best female muscle lovin' buddies. But as I'll explain further below, the audience is also involved in the voting to varying degrees in different rounds during the contest.

Posing Suits
We really wanna see those glutes so thongs are mandatory. See-through posing suits may be a crowd pleaser, but are optional. We're trying to build to a climax, so only in the final two rounds will stripping be allowed, and only in the final posedown is full nudity permitted (and encouraged!)

Andrea, Boulanger
Coates, Colomb

The Format
Round 1: Compulsory Poses
Competitors take the stage one-by-one introduced (to rapturous applause, obviously) by the MC, Noel Edmonds (who is an FBB admirer for sure, he consistently had muscle women on his prime time shows back in the day, check out this old clip).

Gina Davis
A pre-contest favourite with the bookies

I'd keep the same poses as normal, but add the most muscular pose to finish. Another addition would be allowing competitors to gain points by demonstrating muscle control, especially in the pec and glute departments and also by rolling their abs or shaking their quads when doing the abdominals and thigh pose. For the compulsory poses judges votes count for 75%, audience votes 25%.

Dennis, Dunlap
Duquette, Herndon

Round 2: Free-for-all
Call-outs seem like such a long, drawn-out way of doing things to me. Contestants spend so much time on stage doing nothing but dehydrating while others are front and centre. So rather than that, in my show the 'comparisons' round is a twenty-minute free posing round with all the competitors on stage at the same time. A sure fire crowd pleaser and a total meat-fest! Judges votes and audience votes count 50:50.

Hoshor, Hreapca
Cum-induction specialists

Round 3: Routines
Each competitor gets five full minutes to bring the audience to their feet. Or to attention, if you know what I mean. Again, voting is split, this time judges votes count 25% and audience 75%, so the ladies will be looking to whip the crowd into a right frenzy.

Just about to give it a good licking

There are no restrictions on what the competitors wear at this stage. And as the purpose of a routine (in my opinion anyway) should be to give the ladies a chance to express themselves, that's what we want them to do here. Self-admiration (feeling, kissing or licking the muscles) or busting out of your posing top at the finale of your routine is likely to prove popular with the fans, although taking it all off is not allowed yet!

Looking smug as she causes another spectator to pass out

Round 4: Posedown
The top six competitors are called back on stage and there's an almighty posedown lasting ten minutes, and ideally ending with all six competitors naked. Any members of the audience and judging panel still able to vote (ie. able to tear one hand away from their groin area and press a button on a keypad) do so, each vote counting equal.

Murnikoviene, Neil
Mistresses of muscle control

In reverse order, the top six are anointed, literally. We cover them in high quality oil. Then the glistening body of the tearful winner, the muscle goddess of muscle goddesses, stays on stage to be admired, photographed and worshipped by all and sundry. Noel gets his money. We would like to ask members of the audience to put any used tissues in the receptacles provided, and see you next year.

Nielsen, Popa, Rutkowski
Six of the best legs in the show

Female Muscle Slave would love to hear what your dream line-up would be and how the contest would pan out. Comments can be left below, or if you prefer, email at the usual address ( and I will publish your choices on the blog with your permission.

Suzuki, Young
Igniting the chest debate

You can have as many or as few competitors as you wish. And as it's your show, you can also design the format and make the rules. There are literally no restrictions. Evening wear round? Armwrestling? Striptease routines? General knowledge? It's your call.

FMS looks forward to hearing from you. Hope you have enjoyed the posts this week when size has been everything. I'll be doing a spring-clean of the site soon (checking links etc still work), and normal service will be resumed shortly.

In the meantime, I leave you with the winner of the Number One Orgasmic Meat Exhibition...


  1. Great line up and imaginative excercise. My dream line up of BIG girls would be (not in a particular order, at least beyond the fifth place)
    1.- Laura Creavalle
    2.- Christa Bauch
    3.- Lisa Aukland
    4.- Yaxeni Oriquen
    5.- Tina Lockwood
    6.- Gina Davis
    7.- Denise Hoshor
    8.- Lesa Lewis
    9.- Sue Price
    10.- Tazzie Colomb
    11.- Bev Francis
    12.- Kay Baxter
    13.- Alina Popa
    14.- Christine Envall
    15.- Dayana Cadeau
    16.- Annette Wittig
    17.- Bonny Priest
    18.- Heather Foster
    19.- Paula Suzuki
    20.- Laura Binetti

    All BIG, all goddesses.

    Great post.

    1. Fantastic! You've made my day!

      I was beginning to wonder if I'd get any replies, thank you so much Amante. Great job, fantastic line-up.

      I'll track down some contest pics of your 20 and post them soon.

  2. i'm really glad you liked my lineup. Your blog is great, i always enjoy your creativity and the quality of your writings.

    BTW do you know what happened to Dr. Michelle Neill? she was one of my favs and one day dissapeared of the spotlight.

    Anyway, keep your articles coming, hope we can stay in touch more often.

  3. Here's my top 20. Again in no particular order.
    1 Fabiola Boulanger
    2 Colette Guimond
    3 Jana Sippl
    4 Maria Segura
    5 Th-resa Bostick
    6 Iris Kyle
    7 Kim Chizevsky
    8 Tazzie Colomb
    9 Betty Pariso
    10 Karla Nelsen
    11 Lora Ottenad
    12 Isabelle Turell
    13 Cornelia Brandt
    14 Christine Envall
    15 Bev Francis
    16 Andrulla Blanchette
    17 Maryse Manios
    18 Alina Popa
    19 Helle Nielsen
    20 Viviana Violante
    That was tough as I probably have well over 50 favorites, at this time though, this is probably my top 20. :)

    1. That's a BIG line-up and no mistake. Thanks for posting, I know it's hard to choose!

  4. My contest would have an evening dress round where they must show bare arms, shoulders, back and pecs.
    A mini skirt and high heels round to show legs
    A g-string bikini round to show glutes , abs and all the rest.
    A lingerie/fetish-wear round with sexy dancing (and muscle control).
    the girls would all oil each other up on stage and there would be competitive weight workout and wrestling rounds.
    Then to cool off the stage would become a giant shower room where anything goes.....

    Ok here's my quick list - I am sure I will have left some out and recent faves can change
    rougly sorted by time - marks would also be awarded for size, definition, vascularity, best body part, facial and feminine beauty, posing, imagination and attitude.

    Janet Tech
    Joanne McCartney
    Donna Mangano
    Meral Ertunc
    Marie Mahabir
    Sharon Bruneau
    Dona Oliviera

    Gina Davis
    Aleesha Young
    Angie Salvagno
    Christine Roth
    Denise Masino
    Autumn Raby
    Nursel Gurler
    Melissa Dettwiller
    Kirsten Haug

    Marina Lopez
    Christina Rhodes
    Alina Popa
    Amber De Francesco
    Jennifer Scarpetta
    Monica Mowi (glute & leg specialist)
    Penpraghai Tiangngok

    1. Thanks Pump It Up - you really got into the spirit of it! Like the thoroughness of your judging, and, of course, the giant shower room. Thanks!

  5. Well, I arrived late at the party. But I guess it's still time to make my line up. Judging on big muscles and beauty combined. I choose everyone on the year they were on top form.

    1. Denise "Babyface Beef" Hoshor - 2000

    2. Christa "Berlin Wall of Muscle" Bauch - 1992/3

    3. Juliette "Dutch Dynamo" Bergmann - 2001/3

    4. Christine "Flex Freak" Envall - 2003

    5. Connie "Muskel Panzer" Brandt - 2006

    6. Denise "Hardowski" Rutkowski - 1993

    7. Judy "The Big One" Miller - 1996

    8. Lisa "Calves os Steel" Aukland - 2007/9

    9. Heather "Major Glutes" Policky - 2005/6

    10. Debbie "Bicepia" Bramwell - 2011

    11. Debi "Hot & Hard" Laszewski - 2010/11

    12. Colette "Gimme Muscle" Guimond - anytime

    13. Cathy "Leg-gendary" Lefrançois - 2008/11

    14. Annie "Potenza" Rivieccio - 1997

    15. Marja "Ice Giant" Lehtonen - 2004/8

    16. Monica "Amazon" Martin - 2001

    17. Sophie "Boeuf Canadien" Duquette - 2001/2

    18. Nursel "Beef & Boobs" Gurler - 2001

    19. Fabiola "Eye Popper" Boulanger - 2011

    20. Kristy "Mamooth Muscles" HAwkins - 2008

    Bonus: the upcoming Anne Luise "Hulkette" Freitas (watch out)

    Some great competitors, as Sherry Smith and Katka Kyptova, didn't made it to the list. But if they did we would need much more room - and tons of more steel estructure - on the stage.

    Now excuse me. I'll sleep just to dream about this contest.

    Best regards.

    1. Better late than never my friend! Thanks for taking part - and especially for the entertainment value of the nicknames. 'Beef and Boobs' is my favourite!

      Hopefully we'll get some more responses and I can bundle them up in a post with yours. Watch this space!

    2. If I can add one more to my list, Aleesha "Meat Armor" Young just signed in the contest.

    3. It's your contest, your fantasy so you make the rules. What exactly was it that made 'Meat Armor' want to be there?

  6. To be honest, I forgot to tell her about the contest. When she knew it, she showed up and said: "I think I have the qualifications for the contest". And then made the biggest, beefiest, enormous crab shot I ever seen. In front of that delicious pose, I could just reply "Yes you have". Now, viewers around the globe will have to buy a VeryWideScreen TV if they wanna see the show.

  7. I am one of those who love the bodybuilding, but like fitness routines, and Kenny Kassel's strength show. So it would be an event at an Arnold Expo/FIBO type place over two days, with the bodybuilding first, then strength next.

    Donna Mangano
    Heather Policky
    Anna Marie Onesti
    Andrea Cloward
    Ursula Teply
    Paula Suzuki
    Erika Andersch
    Suzan Kaminga
    Wendy Lindquist
    Shawn Tan
    Aleesha Young
    Sheena Bocciolone
    Jennifer McVicar
    Joanna Thomas
    Tami Wooden
    Karla Nelsen
    Marianna Komlos
    Rhonda Jorgenson
    Bonnie Pappas
    Jacqueline Young

    I could have gone to 100. I know I kind of cheated with the last one, but the strongwoman types needed to be represented and Jill Mills, Heini K., Anna Rosen, Robin Coleman and a bunch of others would be in that 100.

    1. Hi colt13, sorry for the late reply.

      Thanks for reading and sending in your choices, I will post them soon. Fantastic to have another variation on the contest format.

      If you want to chat more, please get in touch by email

  8. Laura binetti circa 1997 if she has not been mentioned already. pause at 15secs and that is a back most men would like to have, and it looks real good on her, she drips muscle!

  9. And here comes my top 12 list:
    As you will see, I only prefer active bodybuilders. To name all the inactive muscle girls like Kim C, Andrulla or Binetti.. it would be too much mass on one post ;-)

    1. Yaxeni Oriquen
    2. Tazzie Colomb
    3. Kim Perez
    4. Alina Popa
    5. Colette Guimond
    6 Iris Kyle
    7. Maryse Manios
    8. Helle Nielsen
    9. Angie Salvagno
    10. Fabiola Boulanger
    11. Lora Ottenad
    18. Heather Foster

    I am sorry if one or another finds my list too heavy :-D

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