Wednesday, 24 August 2016

The Strong Arms of the Law

After yesterday's Bad Girls, today it's the Good Cop. A bikini-clad Swedish police officer has been praised for tackling a suspected thief while she was off-duty sunbathing with friends in Stockholm, said the BBC, while The Sun (as you'd expect) somewhat more dramatically headlined the story: The incredible moment swimsuit-wearing off-duty cop pins down thief who stole sunbathers’ mobile phones.

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He seemed a poor homeless guy trying to do the right thing, selling newspapers rather than begging, said the "bikini-clad Swedish police officer" who posted the pic to her Instagram. When we didn't buy his newspaper he tried to steal my cell phone!

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He had picked the wrong woman to steal from. Mikaela Kellner is not just a police officer who has appeared on the Swedish version of Ninja Warrior, but also describes herself as an athlete, a powerlifter and a Crossfitter - "toughest competitor alive". This was the first time in my 11 years as a police officer that I have intervened while wearing a bikini, she said. I must say it was pretty good fun and rather pleasant.

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The BBC made no mention at all of Mikaela's athleticism. Not so The Sun. There can be no dispute about who came out on top, exclaimed reporter Danny Collins, with the muscle-bound cop holding the man in an arm lock. He may have thought twice had he known that the sunbathing policewoman was a champion bodybuilder!

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Mikaela and friends, including (top left) Amanda Almroth and (bottom right) Jenny Adolfsson

Mikaela's muscles hadn't escaped the attention of the fan forums even before the incident, but after the story broke she was dubbed "the sexiest superhero alive", and her collar "the luckiest thief". This guy just wanted a gorgeous woman to handcuff him, claimed one fan, and offers "to play the bad guy next" have been plentiful.

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Mikaela's back in training after a summer break. Thieves beware!

Tuesday, 23 August 2016

Bad Girls!

Drugs offences, steroid supplying, shoplifting, prostitution, child pornography...

All of the above (and more) are crimes for which female bodybuilders - many well-known to female muscle lovers - have been arrested and/or charged with.

Of course, female bodybuilders are not more prone to criminality than other women, but their crimes are much more likely to get reported in the media, as Dani Reardon's brush with the Florida police in 2014 proved. Female Bodybuilder Attacks Boyfriend is a headline, Average Woman Attacks Boyfriend is not.

It's always a shock to a Brit like me to see those mug shots published, and not only because the likes of Denise Rutkowski (evading arrest - for what is not clear) and Rhonda Lee Quaresma (prostitution sting - guess she was offering sessions plus plus) look so horribly different from their former selves in those pictures.

Over here, rather than the mug shot that gets published, it's the picture of the defendant "arriving at court", and recently that's just what British female bodybuilder Maria Glazowska found herself doing as she faced charges of benefit fraud.

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Maria was caught bang to rights claiming a total of £40,000 plus in Disability Living Allowance between 2009 and 2014. During this time she had taken up bodybuilding, and gone on to compete at national and international level. Sadly, her cunning ploy of using the stage name "Glazowska" - her real name is Maria Hughes it turns out - hadn't put the Department of Work & Pensions off her scent. She pleaded guilty and now faces jail time, not least because she has previous - she was handed a 15-month sentence after being caught growing £30,000 worth of cannabis in her pre-bodybuilding days.

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Ironically, she had turned to the gym - powerlifting initially - as a means of reforming her life after years as a self-confessed "hard clubbing, rave scene party animal".

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And, even more sadly, in bodybuilding, she seemed to have found her calling. Quite simply I was built for bodybuilding, she told Real Female Bodybuilding in 2013, so I decided to do what Mother Nature obviously intended my body to do which was to lift, and lift HEAVY! And the results spoke for themselves. Within two years she was exactly the "big, muscular, ripped" woman she believed us fans want to see.

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Benefit fraud is no joke, but it's not like Maria was the only one at it, with some reports suggesting up to 15% of the UK's working population are - either knowingly or unknowingly - receiving more in benefits than they are due. And her story (see The Birmingham Mail, or The Daily Star - unsurprisingly The Star uses somewhat more vitriolic language) reminded me that this is not the first time in recent years that a UK female bodybuilder has been hauled up in front of the judge for such an offence.

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Back in 2013, Northern Ireland's Kerry Boomer, a NABBA/WABBA Figure athlete, got a suspended sentence and was ordered to pay back around £47,000 in various benefits she had wrongfully obtained between 2005 and 2010 after pleading guilty.

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The very striking Kerry was a runner-up at WABBA Northern Ireland in the Toned Figure category in 2012, and runner-up again at the 2013 NABBA NI, this time in the Trained Figure category before she was caught out. Whether she did in fact pay back the money within the twelve months the judge gave her and consequently avoided prison time is not something I've managed to find any information about though.

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The point is, bad muscle girls don't always have to end up behind bars. At the time of writing, Maria was due to be sentenced last Friday (if that makes sense). So, let's hope the judge - if he sends her away at all - at least sends (has sent) Maria - who once claimed that if she didn't "collapse and maybe throw up" at the end of her workout, then it hadn't been hard enough - away to a facility with a decent weights room.

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Watch Maria in action at the 2013 NAC Universe here. No footage of Kerry Boomer in action unfortunately, but you can see a bit more of her in this interview after she'd come off stage with the silver medal at the 2012 WABBA Northern Ireland. Worth a watch if only for the most obviously stoned-out-of-his-mind interviewer ever.

We resume tomorrow.

Monday, 22 August 2016

Clip of the Week

OANA IN A STUNNING POSING!

11th August was a good day to be checking YouTube for new female muscle clips. Honourable mentions to Theresa Ivancik's Shoulders Three Weeks Out (from the NPC USAs) and Redcon1's Cassandra Martin Back Workout (including sizzlingly arrogant bicep flexing), but FMS reckons the best on a very good day was this preview of the latest offering from Double Biceps starring Elena Oana Hreapca.



And that's just the preview!

The full clip runs an eye-watering thirty minutes and is available to buy from the Double Biceps website - worth a visit if only for the 20 preview pics of Oana from the video. Membership is a less expensive option, and gets you access to much of the footage from the site, but you have to wait a bit longer for the newest stuff.

Enjoy!

Sunday, 21 August 2016

Picture Perfect

Having gone into a bit more detail than originally intended with last week's Summer Break @NPC USAs posts, I find myself playing catch-up. No time for very much at all, I'm afraid, so this week I'm having to go a bit PumpItUp - one picture every day.

One perfect picture.

WHAT THE PHOTOGRAPHER SAW

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Michaela Aycock, Physique star, poses, all muscles and veins (and very little else).

Imagine the shock and awe she must cause when unsuspecting members of the public wander into the gym (and quite possibly beat a hasty retreat at the sight of her!).

But this photographer/workout buddy of hers must see Michaela pretty much every day. You might expect the shock and awe not to be quite so great for her. However...

Michaela on FMS passim.

Saturday, 20 August 2016

Picture Perfect

Having gone into a bit more detail than originally intended with last week's Summer Break @NPC USAs posts, I find myself playing catch-up. No time for very much at all, I'm afraid, so this week I'm having to go a bit PumpItUp - one picture every day.

One perfect picture.

THE CHAMP

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3 weeks to go to the Wings of Strength Rising Phoenix World Championships and the signs are that the defending champ isn't about to let her crown go without a fight.

Hard to know where to start with this picture. As soon as you notice those mighty shoulders, your eyes are drawn to her big juicy pecs. Or her massive arms. Then you're back at the shoulders. Then you notice the quads, but you still can't take your eyes off those biceps. Or the pecs. Muscle everywhere. Prime championship beef.

19 women are listed as being eligible to compete so far. The rest of the top 5 from last year - Helle Trevino, Debi Laszewski, Yaxeni Oriquen and Alana Shipp. Winners of the pro events this year - Kim Buck (Puerto Rico), Laura Carolan (Toronto), Isabelle Turell (Omaha), Jacqueline Fuchs (Chicago) and Sheila Bleck (Tampa). Seven women qualify on points (the top 5 and ties) - Angela Rayburn, Nancy Clark, Lora Ottenad, Lisa Cross, Amanda Aivaliotis, Bonnie Switzer (Pappas), Cathy Lefrançois and Rita Bello. Only one of those "special invites" had been handed out at the time of writing - to Alina Popa.

And last but not least, there will be the Champ.

A mouth-watering (among other things) line-up. Roll on September 10th.

Friday, 19 August 2016

Picture Perfect

Having gone into a bit more detail than originally intended with last week's Summer Break @NPC USAs posts, I find myself playing catch-up. No time for very much at all, I'm afraid, so this week I'm having to go a bit PumpItUp - one picture every day.

One perfect picture.

PRIDE or, Not All Selfies Are Created Equal

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Hot or Not? ask Muscle Girl World.

They're always asking. The answer is always the same.

But what is especially swoonworthy about this young lady with the angular, highly-developed delts and the hard, peaked bicep is how PROUD of herself she looks.

HOT! (as always)

Thursday, 18 August 2016

Picture Perfect

Having gone into a bit more detail than originally intended with last week's Summer Break @NPC USAs posts, I find myself playing catch-up. No time for very much at all, I'm afraid, so this week I'm having to go a bit PumpItUp - one picture every day.

One perfect picture.

ALINA & FRIENDS (or ALINA & "FRIENDS")

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She is lesbian? asks one, perhaps slightly worried, fan.

So, let me get this straight - four women together = four lesbians?

When was this decided? How about three women? Or two?

Is the fact they are in bikinis significant?

Is it only true if one (or more) of them has muscles?

Answers on a postcard please.

Wednesday, 17 August 2016

Picture Perfect

Having gone into a bit more detail than originally intended with last week's Summer Break @NPC USAs posts, I find myself playing catch-up. No time for very much at all, I'm afraid, so this week I'm having to go a bit PumpItUp - one picture every day.

One perfect picture.

MAZ BURN

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This early morning gem was a couple of weeks before Maz competed at and won (obviously) the WABBA Britain looking every inch the female muscle superstar she is surely destined to become. You can watch her routine (well, most of it!) on her Instagram, along with much much more of her prime British female muscle beef.

Tuesday, 16 August 2016

Picture Perfect

Having gone into a bit more detail than originally intended with last week's Summer Break @NPC USAs posts, I find myself playing catch-up. No time for very much at all, I'm afraid, so this week I'm having to go a bit PumpItUp - one picture every day.

One perfect picture.

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JANAINA PINHEIRO

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We've already established Janaina is an exhibitionist of some note (see FMS passim), but being in contest shape recently seems to have made her turn it up to 11.

And you know the longer I look at this picture, the more I like it.

When you've exhausted the possibilities, there's much much more here.

Monday, 15 August 2016

Picture Perfect

Having gone into a bit more detail than originally intended with last week's Summer Break @NPC USAs posts, I find myself playing catch-up. No time for very much at all, I'm afraid, so this week I'm having to go a bit PumpItUp - one picture every day.

One perfect picture.

NATASHA AUGHEY

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And shorts are never too short. Nor too tight!

Natasha knows this only too well.