Wednesday, 25 November 2015

I'm Your Fan: Cristina @IFBB Worlds

Time for another of those Can you guess how the judges went? games. Left to right, Brazilians Marjorie Beck (#90) and Daniely Castilho (#94), and #99 Spain's FMS heart-throb Cristina Goy Arellano "relaxed" (above), and comparing front double biceps (below) at the recent IFBB World Fitness Championships in Budapest.

You can probably guess from the fact that I'm asking the question at all that - not for the first time - Swell's scorecard would have looked a little different on the day to that of the IFBB judges. I saw the pics of the show before I knew the result, and while I've been a fan long enough to know that it's a rare day indeed when the judges call it as I see it, I felt there was a reasonable chance that Cristina had at least got herself another World Championship silver medal to go with the one she earned last year.

That;s what I'd hoped for, anyway. But 4th is where the judges placed her.

I tell myself not to get upset when Cristina or any of my other faves don't win. And I've told myself over and over throughout the years that it's pointless to try and second guess the judges - and it's particularly pointless, it seems to me, when it comes to the Physique division these days (as we've seen on FMS passim). And the last thing I want to do is belittle the achievements of the women who finished above her at the contest - Daniely Castilho (#94) won the class and overall titles, Marjorie Beck (#90) was runner-up, and the bronze medal went to Halina Tsitiva of Belarus.
Cristina, Halina Totiva (3rd) and Todorka Ivanova of Bulgaria, who placed 5th

I wouldn't dream of saying the women who finished above Cristina didn't deserve it. Female muscle marvels, every one of them. But, just like a football fan who's weekend is ruined when his team loses, I simply can't help feeling disappointed when my favourite muscle goddesses don't go home with the first place trophies.

And Cristina is definitely a favourite. Definitely.

I doubt I'm the only female muscle fan who feels this way, either in general or about Cristina in particular - in fact I'm sure I'm not. Ye gods, writes one forum poster. This woman is something else. That combo of the Latin complexion with probably the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen on a female bodybuilder, PLUS that physique. She is awesome and she deserves all the attention she's getting in Europe and beyond.

I couldn't have put it better. Although he has forgotten one thing - that smile. And I have to say I'm particlarly enamoured with that smile of hers when she's pumping the muscle in some video or other and you can see it swelling and she looks down at the muscle and turns those fierce bright eyes direct to camera and (so knowingly) smiles...

For a few minutes, I completely forgot not just the 4th place, but what my name is and where I live, such is her power. And I find I'm a bit more philosophical. The unpredictability of sport being it's abiding attraction and all - that sort of thing. Wouldn't it be boring if the same woman always won? [Yes, it was - ed.]

But then I come across a clip of Cristina's posing routine at the Worlds. I'm ecstatic! I watch, transfixed... And then the music fades - after barely thirty seconds! I'm getting riled again. Is that all they give the women now? Thirty bloody seconds! At the WORLD championships?! And I get even more apoplectic at the sorry excuse for the round of applause the crowd muster when she's leaving the stage. Sounds like there were about four people there. I really do wonder sometimes why they bother, but I suspect the answer is in those fierce bright eyes and that smile to camera.

And I'm so glad you do bother, Cristina. Even if I never make it to your shows - "part of the problem" I know, I know - and I'm not the best at sending you messages of encouragement and devotion via your Facebook, your Instagram etc. (I just feel like the guys who do tend to come across as a bit, you know, creepy and all) [I'd be interested to know how you feel this comes across - ed.] so I'm just going to say that the judges might not think you're all that, and the crowd might not think your routine was all that, but there's a legion of us silent ones out there who think you really are all that. All that and something else and more. Your legion of fans.


Tuesday, 24 November 2015

Those Magnificent (Female Muscle Lovin') Men And Their Editing Skills

Fan-made compilation clips have been around for years, but it seems to me that in recent months it's not just the quantity that has increased but also the quality. Female muscle heads, armed with editing software, their female muscle clip library and, in many cases, an ear for a good tune as well, are producing ever more impressive work for our viewing pleasure. And for today's post we've picked four of the best.

by Ultimate Muscle

Ultimate Muscle has produced eight (at the time of writing) compilation clips that focus on individual women, a particular muscle and even a favourite pose. His clips tend to let the women do the talking - literally - rather than have a soundtrack for the images, although his latest work, Ultimate Muscle Biceps, has both. It's also more rapidly edited than the majority of the other clips, suggesting his style is going to evolve, but for our first presentation today we've chosen Choose Your Weapons, a bicep-fest which is more typical of his style in general. It stars Melissa Coates, Alicia Kavuljacova, Donna Bramble and Lisa Moordigan, and Ultimate Muscle wants you not only to enjoy the clip, but also to get interactive and vote for which of these legends should be the subject of his next compilation. Link after the clip.

Vote here.

by femcepsfan

Femcepsfan's channel has 50+ clips, but it's only recently that he has started producing compilation/tribute or what he calls "music video" clips of his own. He has a penchant for Asian muscle women - his list of compilations includes excellent Yeon Woo-Jhi and Rebekah Kresila tributes, for example - but his uploads include all kinds of female muscle old and new. I'm not exactly the biggest fan of his soundtrack choices, but it takes more than a bit of Euro-pap to spoil my enjoyment of three minutes and fourteen seconds of skillfully edited Sophie Arvebrink clips, and I urge you NOT to mute the video and deny yourself the pleasure of Sophie grunting and groaning as she pumps and gurns. Yes, indeed. Get comfy for this one.

by JL "El Mariachi"

If you've not come across JL's work before, you can probably guess from the title of his most recent meisterwerk that this is not going to be even remotely safe for work.

Yaxeni's biggest (and boldest) fan and long-time friend of the blog, JL "El Mariachi" has been making his own special brand of clips (including what he calls his "cumpilations") for many many years now and posting them on his blogs - previously Cum on Her Muscles (sadly now gone forever), more recently Erotic Female Muscles. But he's never produced anything quite like this before, as he himself explains...

Today I'm trying something different. I created a storyboard, searched for the relevant clips, suitable female vocal dance music and put things together as an edited video for my ULTIMATE Yaxeni Cum Fun.

The Story

The young Yaxeni was touching up her makeup and ready for a competition after party. She knew she will be having LOTS of fun - party, dance, meet her fans and flex for them. As a result, she will get extremely turned on. She will demand her husband for sex marathon where they will fuck all night. Somehow she realized there was a hidden camera. A Peeping Tom was in action. Instead of alerting the security, she decided to give the Peeping Tom - an old schmoe an ultimate private muscle show...

Read more and watch the video here: Cum on Her Muscles - Yaxeni Oriquen-Garcia


With a name like "rotavirus", he probably doesn't get as many hits as he should - even I thought twice about clicking on a name like that, and I can NEVER resist checking out a new female muscle channel! But those brave enough to get past the name will be rewarded with a bank of clips well worth your time. Like Femcepsfan, Rotavirus posted a number of "normal" clips before getting his compilation groove on, but now there is simply no stopping him. Fancy ten minutes' worth of The Best of Tazzie? Twenty minutes of Yeon Woo-Jhi? How about a little under forty minutes of Sexy Bikini Muscle? And they are not even close to being the longest clips you will find on his channel - two of his most recent compilations both weigh in at over an hour - like going to the female muscle cinema or something - so I guess we should make sure we've got our drinks and our large popcorn (among other things) before attempting those!

But in my humble opinion the best he's yet produced - and perhaps the best fan-made compilation clip I have ever seen - is this seventeen-minute number, epic - if not in run time - in the sheer mass of female muscle it packs in. Lisa Giesbrecht is the undoubted star of the show, but she is by no means the only insanely pumped and vascular woman on display here. The title pretty much says it all, and while you may have seen all the individual clips themselves before, I promise you that you won't ever have seen anything quite like this. It's female muscle fandom at its most intense and its most unapologetic. And female bodybuilders at their absolute muscle freakiest.


Monday, 23 November 2015

NABBA Universe 2015

The first of two clip-packed posts this week and the first of a few that focus on contests - Theresa at the NPC Nationals is one (I may have mentioned that before) and the other, well, the other is a surprise - takes us to what you might call the spiritual home of British amateur bodybuilding, Southport in Lancashire, for our annual overload of shredded female muscle in thongtastic posing suits. Yes, it's the NABBA Universe.

Toned Figure, Winner

Alex is new to the blog, and new to me, but of course that doesn't mean she hasn't been up to much until now. She is, for example, the reigning NABBA Ms North-east and Ms England in her category, and she also finished runner-up this year at NABBA Britain.

And found time to get up close and personal with Kizzy Vaines on a bike.

Alex hails from West Yorkshire and trains at the same gym as another NABBA star we've featured on FMS before, Sally Knights. She only started competing last year - you can see her (ridiculously sexy) routine from her first show, the Open Yorkshire Classic, here - so winning so many titles in such a short space of time is quite something. And she was rightly proud. I competed against 17 other girls from 26 countries worldwide to come out on top!!! she gushed to her Instagram followers shortly after the show. I can't describe how I feel about this achievement.

Her friend and fellow pizza and peanut butter lover Natalie McKenna was runner-up, and Korean An Bokyung came third (click on their names for their routines). Alex is the third consecutive British NABBA Ms Universe in Toned Figure after Nicola Bentham (2012 and 2013) and Charlotte MacGill. And if you should fancy seeing a bit of Alex training her lovely bum, well, I know where you can find it - here.

Congratulations to our British winner!

Trained Figure

Class 2, 3rd

Now here is a lady we've met before on FMS, Ms NABBA Britain Sarah Mura, who finished 3rd in the shorter of the two Trained Figure classes at her first Universe.

And damn was she looking good backstage.
Sarah, right, with someone vaguely familiar

And far from shabby once that tight little grey number had come off and it was time to get those glorious glutes onto the stage. Currenly enjoying a well-earned holiday in the sun with her beau, Sarah confirmed her status as one of Britian's most exciting NABBA athletes here - and her choice of backstage company hasn't changed my mind about what I wrote about her in July, either: You suspect Sarah has a cheekier, racier, side than most. She is, for one thing, sponsored by the same supplements company as Lisa Cross, and if some of the posts on her Instagram ("sarahsynthol") are anything to go by, she has a similar outlook on muscle and sex as Britain's naughtiest.

Gentlemen, betting on this year's Rear of the Year has been closed.

Class 1, Runner-up

Linda Cassidy gave the crowd a routine to remember and threatened our collective heart rates this time last year when she was finishing 5th in the taller Trained Figure class. And again this year County Down's funkiest Amazon gave another full body performance in a similarly minimal posing suit. No health warning was issued, but everyone seems to have survived, and Linda took home the runners-up trophy.

It's not always an easy task to find pictures of the NABBA ladies. Linda's on Facebook, but it's very much a page where she dishes out advice and motivational quotes to her personal training clientele rather than a page where there are pictures of herself and her lovely muscular body. If it were, you'd be looking at one right now.

Sarah and Linda were the top Brits, but before we move on to the winners, here are the rest of the ladies who finished in the top 6 in the two Trained Figure categories.

As above, just click on the ladies' names to view their routines at your leisure.

Trained Figure I (tall): 3rd, Regiane Basques Moreira (Brazil); 4th, Elodie Ducos (France); 5th, Anna Carolina Bittencourt (Brazil); and 6th, but by no means least, British NABBA veteran, Jody Shuttleworth, looking better than ever.

Trained Figure II (short): 2nd, NABBA legend Flora Conte (Italy); Sarah Mura in 3rd we've seen. Sadly the routines of Olga Permina (Russia, 4th), Mechelle Ihnat (UK, 5th), and, another Brit, Lindsey Angel (6th), aren't up yet, though you can see all the competitors in the class doing their thing in the comparison round here.

Class 2, Winner

3rd in 2013 and runner-up last year, Brazil's reigning NABBA World champ Cinara Polido added the Ms Universe title to her collection here, and was well worth her win.

Cinara has been an FMS fave for a couple of years now, ever since her glorious glutes started twitching like crazy during her 2013 Universe routine, and we most recently caught up with her Brazilian thighs last month in our week of Rolling Thunder.

Cinara's incredible transformation, and many many more pictures of this Brazilian NABBA goddess, can be enjoyed further on her Facebook and/or Instagram pages.

Class 1, Winner & Overall Figure Ms Universe

It's been quite a few months for the very un-Russian sounding Daria Diossi.

First, she won the NABBA Latvia-Lithuania Open (above), and then went on to claim the WFF Universe Superbody title. And since then, she's not only added the NABBA Universe to her rapidly growing collection, but also the WFF World title as well!
Daria with her WFF World trophy and tiara

Here's 7 magnificent minutes of footage of this stunningly beautiful woman performing her routine, winning her class, and finally outmuscling Cinara in the overall posedown.

More Daria? She's on Instagram, and you can see her WFF Universe routine here.

And there is a whole lot more from the show on the NABBA YouTube channel.

Fill your boots!

Sunday, 22 November 2015

Pic of the Week


Yesterday our post about Theresa Ivancik's preparation for this weekend's NPC Nationals ended with an extremely apt quote from a forum member in response to a recent Theresa selfie - Such confidence in her eyes about how hot she is. Female bodybuilders seem to understand tacitly that they have it all over other women.

I'd barely pressed the "Publish" button when yet further proof (as if any were needed) that this is true landed in my inbox courtesy of an FMS reader - Subject: O M F G!!!

It wasn't a picture of Theresa, but of Tanya Hyde...

So, after cleaning up getting some fluids down, I wondered what it was that had turned Tanya from the undeniably attractive but hardly overwhelming young muscle babe of three or four years ago into the devastating creature we see before us now.

There are theories out there that it's all because of Shannon Courtney, you know. The idea is that because Tanya was hanging out with Shannon so much while filming her for her website Tanya Fitness, she got all inspired and has subsequently set about "realizing her Amazon goddess potential" as our picture sending reader put it.

It's a comforting thought. Like Boethius' wheel - the idea that history is in a state of constant motion. You're either going up as the wheel turns, or you're going down. Don't get too despondent when times are bad, says Boethius, nor too proud when times are good, because neither the bad times nor the good times will last. Why should female muscle history be any different? Don't get too hung up on the new "big thing" - Shannon, for example - for her time will pass. But nor should you get too upset if she goes off and starts doing Spartan races instead of bodybuilding, because there will surely be another muscle goddess on the rise. Theresa Ivancik, for example. Or Tanya.

Whatever the reason for Tanya's new bigger and bolder muscle sexiness, whatever it is that gives those extra special women that tacit understanding "that they have it all", Tanya has most definitely got it. It's right there when you look into her eyes.

And it's also right here in a new clip from her YouTube channel.

Now clean up and get some fluids down.

Saturday, 21 November 2015

Heat and the Hurricane: Theresa Ivancik's Countdown to the 2015 NPC Nationals

While I am slightly disappointed that Theresa didn't get her pro card this time - I think she was in her best ever shape here - there's also a large part of me that is secretly celebrating that fact. It's not because I'm a bad person, I just can't help liking the fact that now Theresa will have to do one more contest this year - the NPC Nationals in Florida in November. And that means more contest prep pictures...
FMS, "MUSCLE: Theresa Theresa", 21/09/15

As Lionel Richie is always saying, Well, my friends, the time has come... This weekend, your FMS Hot and Hard 100 highest new entry Theresa Ivancik will take to the stage at the pre-Christmas female muscle treat that is the NPC Nationals. And yes, there have been progress pics. Want to know how Theresa has been looking over the last month (not to mention much of what I've been looking at in that time)?

Then today's post is most definitely for you!


4 weeks Miami!!!! writes Theresa. No stopping now!!!

Her veins are popping out across her magnificent chest ALREADY! And are my eyes deceiving me or do some of those gorgeous striations have striations of their own?

I'm wondering to myself whether or not I'm going to be able to handle four more weeks of such pumped up and oh so very swoonworthy muscle. And the side view only makes me wonder more. Wow, says Mr Fit Vids on Theresa's Instagram, echoing my thoughts exactly. I see winner right there. And he should know, he's bloody filmed a few.

Perfection! adds one of her fans. Easy there fella! The final countdown's just begun, mate - remember what M-People have taught us: Things can only get better...


I squeezed my way into a medium, jokes Theresa. Ye Gods! Pretty good, comments "fan" "alexanderbauer", with, believe it or not, absolutely no sense of irony.

Looks like she squeezed her way out of it too. Getting ready to hit some back, Theresa tells us. Hang on! This is BEFORE she pumps up?! She must be joking again...

Arms and chest day get updates this week as well, and I don't mind telling you that at this stage I am as good as passing out with all the swooning Theresa is compelling me to do... But what's this? Look out! There's video... Pec flyes. Have mercy Theresa!!!


She ignores my pleas. She's relentless.

Good morning abs!!! Welcome back!!! writes Theresa. Email me if you'd like to order a wood mosaic of your favorite sports teams, replies "mosaicsbyjak". Matey, I'll bloody show you a mosaic, thinks I. She's got my wood mosaicking bloody everything!


Getting tighter ;) ready to bring the hurricane to Miami!!!!

I'm not especially proud of the comment about Theresa's marvellous midriff and the consequent mosaic that I made before, so I'm not going to say anything about what her one week tighter abs follow-up caused to blow (with hurricane force). Nothing at all. Just enjoy those veins. Just enjoy imagining, as I did, all the bits of Theresa outside the frame of the photo. And don't think about hurricanes. Or blowing. Don't.

Arm day! Theresa tells us, displaying the beef. That's a lot of chicken consumance, replies an aptly named Dutchman, "surrealmanifest". Would love to see how those arms feel, replies another follower. Clearly I'm not the only person suffering some kind of mental breakdown during Theresa's contest prep. Pretty good, pipes up our irony-less friend "alexanderbauer", could be bigger though. "Ultakaka" is somewhat less reserved: No one in the world has the beauty, definition and size of this woman. She has the look and appeal to put FBBing front and center. Can't help thinking I've heard that exact same sentence a few times in my female muscle lovin' life! Sometimes I think of us female muscle heads as the crowd in "The Life of Brian" - I say you're the Messiah and I should know, I've followed a few! Theresa: THE (latest) CHOSEN ONE!

This is where I ended up after hamstrings and legs day, admits Theresa, showing us she's mortal after all... But by Friday, she was risen again - up and at 'em, perky as hell. And topless. Again. Fasted cardio... Breakfast in check!!! Clients... Training quads, then massage!!! A massage?! Here comes the swoon... AMAZING BEAUTIFUL ETC replies "serge473", caps lock on as soon as he hit the "a", and it seems he just couldn't get it back off again. Or type more than a couple of words before giving up. I know it's hard with one free hand and all, but really, was it worth hitting return for that?


Getting closer to show time!!! she says.

I obviously need to eat a lot more protein 'cos I feel like I peaked somewhat early in the piece. But anyway, it's time for Theresa to work on those shoulders, which, like Moon River, are clearly wider than a mile (there's such a lot of delts to see...)

The hurricane is getting tighter and stronger, she promises. And those glutes certainly look strong and tight enough to cause some damage. Effortlessly taking up the extreme weather theme, Theresa-fan "reubenpatel" confidently predicts You'll blow away the competition lookin that Dayyyym fine. And hello, "serge473" has got his caps lock off: Get'em girl! he writes. Good on him. Me? Well, I'm kind of hypnotised by the eyes...

I don't think I've ever been in such a state of extreme excitement while actually writing a post and I've written a few! So what is it about Theresa these days? Such confidence in her eyes about how hot she is, writes one forum member. Female bodybuilders seem to understand tacitly that they have it all over other women. Indeed they do. And some female bodybuilders, it seems, understand it just that bit more than others.

FMS will have news of Theresa at the Nationals later in the week.


Friday, 20 November 2015

Whole Lotta Rosie: Guest Rascal


As I've said before [and you will no doubt say again... YAWN! - ed.] real performances from female bodybuilder's in their routines are few and far between these days. I've big-upped Sheila Bleck's artistry before, her commissioning of original music and elegant, athletic posing, but as far as this side of the pond is concerned, absolutely positively nobody does it better than Rosanna Harte.

Which, given that she is a graduate in Contemporary Dance, and, as we've seen/heard, no mean singer and lyricist, should not be very surprising. I love making my routines and performing them, she says. I love the way I can combine all my skills and hobbies into one fun performance. I write my own songs/raps and choreograph a dance routine/bodybuilding routine and get to show off my sculpted physique.

And I, for one, love watching her perform. Sadly though (and once again, my apologies if you have read this before here) it's a rare bodybuilding show indeed that gives the women more than a minute or so, and as a result Rosie's scope to express her full range of talents is somewhat limited. Nevertheless, she can still give quite a performance when competing, as this routine from the 2013 Arnold Amateur demonstrates.

If she can do so much in a little over a minute, then give her four (or more) and she can give full rein to her myriad talents. You can find her rapping, stripping (not all the way, but, you know), flying around the stage and obviously delighting in showing off that sculpted physique to its best advantage at the 2012 UKBFF Leeds here, but my pick of the Rosie guest posing routines available to view is our Clip of the Week this week, "Dumbbells Are A Girl's Best Friend" from the UKBFF East Midlands in 2013.

Follow Britain's newest pro on Twitter and her YouTube channel.


Thursday, 19 November 2015

Whole Lotta Rosie: Rascal Sez

I’ve been training and lifting weights for over 11 years now. My real skill is sculpting my physique to create perfect symmetry and balance for the stage. I think I’ve become a very smart trainer and everything I do in the gym has logic behind it.

I must admit I am slightly ignorant when it comes to the UK scene. I don't really go to watch competitions, or keep track of who is winning what. I just train, decide on a competition I want to do and turn up. [And more often than not, WIN!]

I most admire the physiques of Valentina Chepiga, Anne Freitas, Laura Creavalle, Lenda Murray and Alina Popa. I would like to achieve the total package of a female bodybuilder: beauty, femininity, sex appeal, tight waist, good muscle mass, symmetry, detailed lines and top lean condition.

I don’t just start my workout and think "my legs need to be bigger" so lift heavy on squats. I think it’s important to analyse the physique and then act accordingly to create a specific look. If I need more outer quad sweep I’ll try and isolate that area, changing foot stance and slowing down the movement.

I respond very well to higher frequency training. If I’m getting ready for a competition I train glutes 4-6 times a week and shoulders 3-4 times. This style of training keeps my muscles fuller and I progress much faster with muscle growth.

Training with weights has had a huge effect on all areas of my life. I have always been confident but this has just increased my confidence even more.

Bodybuilding has given me the chance to meet so many lovely people. People are intrigued by you when you are a muscular woman and it’s great to pass on any knowledge I’ve gained to people trying to get fit or sculpt their bodies. I feel like I have invaluable information that I can share with other people.

Ladies... don’t be impatient with your gains, make steady and safe progress.

I believe that variety is the spice of life. I love to read and practise ways to heighten my knowledge and help me be the best I can be so when my time is up I will hopefully be leaving the planet with a positive imprint, as small as it may be.

Our last lotta Rosie tomorrow. Enjoy!