Thursday, 29 September 2011

Meine Top 5 Deutsch Muskel Mädchen: Winner

My all time favourite German Muscle Maiden (für die Erinnerungen)

She was on the cover of the first bodybuilding magazine I ever bought. This particular (UK) issue of Muscle and Fitness was possibly the first one I'd seen that had only a woman on the cover. And what a woman! I'd flicked through magazines in shops before, furtively ogling the female bodybuilders as the adrenalin rush that I have become so familiar with coursed through my body (and pretending to look at the training articles when someone came near enough to see what I was reading!), but I'd never gone through with actually purchasing one.

The sight of Anja's incredible body, ripped and oiled in a black bikini was just too much. 'The Madness' overtook me. I couldn't leave the shop without the magazine, or more accurately, without the woman on the cover.

Dry-mouthed and paranoid that someone I knew would walk in and see what I was doing, but compelled nonetheless, I whipped the magazine off the shelf and went up to the counter and paid. For some reason, the shopkeeper put it in a brown paper bag, usually used to hide porn! Were my intentions that obvious? I quickly popped it into my bag and left the shop in a hurry.

I bounced along the road, ecstatic. I was taking a female bodybuilder home!

That was the first, but certainly not the last time I walked home from that shop with a brown paper bag that contained a magazine with a pictoral of Anja Langer.

In the days before millions of images of female muscle were just clicks away, each picture of these amazing, completely unconventional-looking women was an event in itself for me. The fact that, compared with today, so many fewer images were available gave each one a higher value. I remember I could look at one picture for so long, committing every inch of it to memory, that even today, many years later, I can recall Anja's photos from that first magazine I bought.

The way her shoulders curved up and out, the way her abdominals seem to be pulling her tiny waist in, her hard muscular chest, the way her thigh and calf muscles flared out - all these details and more became locked away in my brain. When I got online and found pictures of Anja my reaction was that she was exactly how I remembered her - beautiful, gracefully feline, and covered in sexy solid muscles.

For my top German muscle maiden, I really couldn't choose anyone else.
Anja, Danke für die Erinnerungen!

And to my deutsche Leser, Danke fürs Lesen! And please get in touch at or by commenting below, even if you only want to correct my google-translator German. But I'd be especially pleased to hear who your favourite German muscle babes are. Who do you think have I overlooked?
I'm looking forward to hearing from you.

For the last time, Viel Spaß!

Wednesday, 28 September 2011

Meine Top 5 Deutsch Muskel Mädchen: 2nd

2: Skadi Frei


As far as I can tell from my research, in Norse mythology Skadi is a goddess, 'the goddess of winter and of the hunt'. Talk about foresight! It's almost as if her parents knew what her destiny would be. She has certainly grown up to be a goddess, a big, blond, beautiful muscle goddess who also happens to be an ex-basketball player, a graduate in Sports Science, and a former manager of the Swiss national cycling team! And she is a mother. And a PE teacher. Can you imagine being a teenage boy in Skadi's class? I bet a few female muscle fans come out of that school in the future.
More than a few.

Skadi the goddess

I've been enamoured with Skadi since I saw the pic below. Can you blame me? Those eyes, that smile, and that sexy muscular body. Her shoulders and pecs beg to be worshipped, and the way her left thigh curves out makes my mouth water. Such a strong, amazon woman, her muscles are full, pumped, ripe for adoration.

Her 15th (out of 17) place at the recent Miss Olympia was, for me, a bit of a disappointment. On reflection though, I think it was more an indication that she reached her peak this year for the FIBO Pro event (and so qualified for the Olympia with her 2nd place there). I reckon, therefore, that her best is yet to come.



She's a stunner from every angle, in any shape from contest to off-season, in any kind of outfit or setting. I've yet to see a bad picture of her, or a stage routine of hers that wasn't graceful, artistic and kittenishly sexy.

Like the country of her birth's economy, Skadi looks strong enough to hold up the whole of Europe. Well, perhaps that's an exaggeration, the Germans have their own debt to repay too now! Boom boom!

Perhaps propping up Europe is a job for her alter-ego...

Muscleshirt available from The Trenzformer shop

And if that isn't enough Skadi for you, here's a great compilation clip showcasing her from the fantastic TubeFBB channel on youtube

Viel Spaß!

Tomorrow it's my number 1!

Tuesday, 27 September 2011

Meine Top 5 Deutsch Muskel Mädchen: 3rd

3: Christa Bauch

I don't think it's an exaggeration to say that Christa Bauch is a legend among fans of female bodybuilding. At her peak in the 1990s, her physique seemed to be permanently rock hard, and the fact that the pictures and videos of her from that time still elicit adoration from younger members of the female muscle loving fraternity is a testament to how special she was back then. Even more so if you consider the fact that at that time she was in her forties and had had three children!

It was only when I discovered the peerless Women's Physique World that I discovered Christa, and I remember thinking that she looked like she had been hewn from living rock. Every part of her body (that I could see anyway) appeared to be pure muscle, and I wouldn't have bet against the parts I couldn't see being pure muscle either. I'd seen other female bodybuilders looking ripped in contest photos but Christa was just on another level altogether.

Fast forward to the internet era, and as soon as I was hooked up, clips of Christa were among the first things I started looking for. Consequently, Christa was the first female bodybuilder I ever saw punching her own abs or making her sexy pecs dance. The clips may have been tiny compared to the HD-fests that spoil us now, but they still have the power to 'move' me.

And she had her own website, which had a page where you could dress Christa up and where I spent many a long evening putting her into the various outfits there and dreaming that I was putting a mini-skirt or heels on her for real (and before you tell me I'm weird for that, go to the page and try it before you judge me!)

But Christa doesn't only make the list for those periods in my female muscle worshipping life. As I mentioned before, she was in her forties when at her peak, and that was in the 1990s. Now the pictures below come from around 2005 or 2006. She was nearly sixty when they were taken. What an advert for the sport of female bodybuilding she is!

How many sixty-year-olds could turn your head like Christa would if you were walking along the beach and spied that body on a sun lounger?

Perhaps the dog is thinking that Christa's granite bicep might be more fun to chew on than his plastic toy. Yes, I know I wanted to be Merle Mohr's dog yesterday, but I've changed my mind. Now I wanna be Christa's dog!

I'll leave the last word to Christa herself. Her philosophy, explained in a WPW interview: A trained, athletic body looks very aesthetic. It expresses strength and beauty, strong willpower and self-confidence. For me this is what being a woman is about. The bimbobarbie doll type is too undemanding. Most men need to learn how to get along with STRONG women — both physically and psychologically. Amen!

Viel Spaß!

And my number 2 will be revealed tomorrow...