Wednesday, 23 May 2012

Size Matters: Extra

As The Dude says in The Big Lebowski, New shit has come to light. And as you may not be party to the new shit, FMS believes it is his duty to pass it on. The new shit concerns two of the women who featured in Size Matters week, Britain's reigning Queen, Rene Campbell, who had a whole post of her own, and the legend that is Christine Envall, who featured as one of the Super Freaks.

Rene Campbell has been flying the flag for Team GB recently at the European Bodybuilding Championships in Croatia, so FMS wishes to pass on their congratulations to her for finishing a creditable 3rd in the over 55kg class.

Now, a lot of comments have been made (by fans, not Rene) that she only finished 3rd, despite being the biggest woman on the stage. 'It's Bev Francis all over again' or 'It's a Euro-conspiracy against all things British' etc etc. But, as FMS has pointed out before, the subjectivity of bodybuilding judging (especially, it seems, female bodybuilding judging) means that there are always going to be controversial results at contests, and it's really not worth getting worked up about.

She was the biggest woman on that stage. We know that, she knows that, and the judges knew that too, and the fact that most fans are talking about Rene rather than the competitors who finished higher is, I think, in itself going to pay dividends for her career-wise. There will be other competitions at other times in other places where the judges will see her size as an advantage and place her higher. Her moment will undoubtedly come. Until then, we have some wonderful shots of Rene in the competition to console ourselves with.

And so to Christine Envall. If you haven't heard - she's back! And judging by the pics, she hasn't come back as a toned down version of her former self. If anything, she looks even thicker than she did at her peak. Super-duper freaky! Marvel at the muscularity and striations in her hamstrings and glutes.

Christine says, I started to get the bug again around October 2010 after attending a few of the local shows and we’ve slowly ramped the training up to see how my body would respond. My return to competition will be at the 2012 Europa Battle of Champions in Hartford, Conneticut on June 29 & 30, followed by the 2012 Wings of Strength in Chicago a week later.

The legends like Yaxeni, Mah Ann Mendoza and Heather Foster helped motivate me to compete again. These women are a few years older than I am and they have competed continuously while I’ve been retired. As far as the Ms Olympia, that would be a dream come true, but I’d say it’s a way down the track. Only 1st place qualifies for the Ms Olympia from this year, making it a tough achievement. I plan on spending the next couple of years getting ‘known’ again, then who knows what can happen...

Welcome back Christine. I didn't know how much I'd missed you until I saw you again!

Tuesday, 22 May 2012


I love a woman in a sexy dress. And (as I'm sure most of you have guessed by now) I love a woman with muscles. So a muscle woman in a sexy dress is heaven on Earth. It doesn't get much better. And more than that, pictures like the ones I've chosen below not only serve to stimulate my imagination (among other things) but they also serve as one in the eye for those who would have you believe that it's impossible for women with muscles to look feminine. All the ladies below are muscular. And all of them look feminine. To my (not very objective) eyes anyway. What about yours?
The majority of the guys in this bar are doing a great job of not staring at the vision of muscular loveliness that is Erica Cordie in her little black dress (aka a girl's best friend, apparently). A special mention for the guy on the left, the one who is pretending that his phone is much more interesting. Very nonchalant. Good work. However, the guy you can see over Erica's deliciously sculpted shoulder is not holding it together quite so well. I sympathise, I really do. That would definitely be me not listening to a word my mate is saying, whether he was telling me how to beat the bookie, a share tip worth millions or indeed the secret to life, the universe and everything. Gazing at Erica would be much more pressing than that.
Picture your local shopping mall. Now picture it with a female bodybuilder in a skimpy dress. A female bodybuilder like Rene Marven, for instance, flexing her bicep in your shopping mall. Now if you knew that every time you went to the mall you would see a lady like Rene, would you go more often? Mall owners take note.
It's always hard to know when a woman asks your opinion of how she looks exactly what you are supposed to say. Women often claim they just want you to be honest, but, in my experience anyway, that doesn't get you anywhere. Most women are very insecure about their bodies and just want reassurance. Muscle women seem to be altogether different in that they are extremely comfortable in their own skin. They look like they do because they want to, and confidence, rather than insecurity, results. So where most women would worry that their dress was too short, Monica Mollica might wonder if it's short enough. Does my back look big in this? asks Gillian Kovack. Yes, darling. It looks absolutely massive is, I believe, the correct answer. And if Jen Rish were to enquire if her heels made her calves bulge, I think that, once again, the affirmative would be the best response. And they would be honest answers too!
More little black numbers, getting littler from left to right. Firstly, Raquel Hernandez Olmo draws attention to her arm and shoulder definition by not revealing much else. Then Heather Pedigo (remember her?) breaks a cardinal rule and goes low at the top and short at the bottom (generally not a good idea unless, like Heather, you have an absolutely killer bod). And finally, Fanny Palou, seemingly on a mission to leave absolutely nothing to the imagination. Once again, women with lesser physiques could never get away with a dress like this, but Fanny appears to be in her element. It's that confidence thing again.
More proof that big muscles and femininity can exist in unison. The massive Roberta Toth is all woman. Being Brazilian probably helps. But I do like her choice of evening wear here, revealing plenty of her magnificently sexy muscular body while also leaving plenty to the imagination at the same time. I for one would be extremely proud to take Roberta out dancing, even if my moves on the floor might need some work beforehand.
Is it because the shape of a muscular woman's body is so untypical that it's hard to find dresses that fit or is it that these confident muscular goddesses actively seek out dresses that are a size (even two or three sizes) too small? I'd like to think it's the latter. To say that Minna Pajulahti or Andrea Giacomi have been 'poured into' their dresses above doesn't begin to describe it. It looks like Minna's dress might spring up to above her waist if she lets go, and if Andrea were to attempt to walk in that outfit, it might just fall apart around her. Mouth-watering sexiness.
Britain's own Carmen Knights and her... er, cat. Looks like a Persian. Anyway, she's ripped, vascular and clearly loving it if those erect nipples are anything to go by. And although it's not got the cling-film quality of Minna's or Andrea's dresses above, you can follow the contours of her spectacular body nevertheless. Next to Carmen, the criminally under-rated Lisette Acevedo shows the dress-maker exactly where she would like her green number altered, and by how much. It's such a waste to train these legs month after month and then have most of my thigh covered by my dress. I want the world to see these cuts. I agree, Lisette, I quite agree.
The desert climate can play havoc with a girl's hair, especially when she has run out of petrol and has to wait by the side of the road. Unless Katka gets a lift back to civilisation soon, it could be a disaster. And her choice of clothing, while guaranteeing attention, has not got her picked up. Two cars and a truck have passed, but none of them stopped because, let's face it, would you think she was real? Surely a mirage! I hope the next guy can trust his own eyes and stop. Katka's lush dark locks are getting drier and drier by the second...

And for my final exhibits today, two of the biggest female bodybuilders in the world, separately and together. Conventional wisdom would have it that being two of the biggest, Brigita Brezovac and Tina Chandler would also be two of the most masculine. Have a good look now... Well, are they?


You may have noticed the Downloads page has disappeared. It's simply part of the long overdue spring clean. The links were all dead, fall out from the Megaupload disaster I guess. It's not because I wanted to take them away from you. I'll be doing more spring cleaning as and when I can.

And thanks to everyone who has started to follow the blog and/or got in touch recently.

More soon!

Sunday, 13 May 2012

Size Matters: A Fantasy Contest

Imagine you could have a female bodybuilding contest where all the competitors were your favourites, and they would be at their absolute peak irrespective of the era they actually competed in. Kind of like Bill and Ted, you have a time machine and you can travel back and forth in time collecting your favourite FBBs for your dream show.

After much thought, probably too much, I narrowed my favorite FBBs down to twenty and will illustrate the post with the competitors I have selected in alphabetical order by surname. Meanwhile, I'll explain the format of the show, its rules, and how the judging will work.

So, to kick off, with a title borrowed from the excellent Erotic Female Muscles,
Female Muscle Slave presents its very own...


The Judges
Me and two of my best female muscle lovin' buddies. But as I'll explain further below, the audience is also involved in the voting to varying degrees in different rounds during the contest.

Posing Suits
We really wanna see those glutes so thongs are mandatory. See-through posing suits may be a crowd pleaser, but are optional. We're trying to build to a climax, so only in the final two rounds will stripping be allowed, and only in the final posedown is full nudity permitted (and encouraged!)

Andrea, Boulanger
Coates, Colomb

The Format
Round 1: Compulsory Poses
Competitors take the stage one-by-one introduced (to rapturous applause, obviously) by the MC, Noel Edmonds (who is an FBB admirer for sure, he consistently had muscle women on his prime time shows back in the day, check out this old clip).

Gina Davis
A pre-contest favourite with the bookies

I'd keep the same poses as normal, but add the most muscular pose to finish. Another addition would be allowing competitors to gain points by demonstrating muscle control, especially in the pec and glute departments and also by rolling their abs or shaking their quads when doing the abdominals and thigh pose. For the compulsory poses judges votes count for 75%, audience votes 25%.

Dennis, Dunlap
Duquette, Herndon

Round 2: Free-for-all
Call-outs seem like such a long, drawn-out way of doing things to me. Contestants spend so much time on stage doing nothing but dehydrating while others are front and centre. So rather than that, in my show the 'comparisons' round is a twenty-minute free posing round with all the competitors on stage at the same time. A sure fire crowd pleaser and a total meat-fest! Judges votes and audience votes count 50:50.

Hoshor, Hreapca
Cum-induction specialists

Round 3: Routines
Each competitor gets five full minutes to bring the audience to their feet. Or to attention, if you know what I mean. Again, voting is split, this time judges votes count 25% and audience 75%, so the ladies will be looking to whip the crowd into a right frenzy.

Just about to give it a good licking

There are no restrictions on what the competitors wear at this stage. And as the purpose of a routine (in my opinion anyway) should be to give the ladies a chance to express themselves, that's what we want them to do here. Self-admiration (feeling, kissing or licking the muscles) or busting out of your posing top at the finale of your routine is likely to prove popular with the fans, although taking it all off is not allowed yet!

Looking smug as she causes another spectator to pass out

Round 4: Posedown
The top six competitors are called back on stage and there's an almighty posedown lasting ten minutes, and ideally ending with all six competitors naked. Any members of the audience and judging panel still able to vote (ie. able to tear one hand away from their groin area and press a button on a keypad) do so, each vote counting equal.

Murnikoviene, Neil
Mistresses of muscle control

In reverse order, the top six are anointed, literally. We cover them in high quality oil. Then the glistening body of the tearful winner, the muscle goddess of muscle goddesses, stays on stage to be admired, photographed and worshipped by all and sundry. Noel gets his money. We would like to ask members of the audience to put any used tissues in the receptacles provided, and see you next year.

Nielsen, Popa, Rutkowski
Six of the best legs in the show

Female Muscle Slave would love to hear what your dream line-up would be and how the contest would pan out. Comments can be left below, or if you prefer, email at the usual address ( and I will publish your choices on the blog with your permission.

Suzuki, Young
Igniting the chest debate

You can have as many or as few competitors as you wish. And as it's your show, you can also design the format and make the rules. There are literally no restrictions. Evening wear round? Armwrestling? Striptease routines? General knowledge? It's your call.

FMS looks forward to hearing from you. Hope you have enjoyed the posts this week when size has been everything. I'll be doing a spring-clean of the site soon (checking links etc still work), and normal service will be resumed shortly.

In the meantime, I leave you with the winner of the Number One Orgasmic Meat Exhibition...