Thursday, 28 February 2013

Unbuttoned/Unzipped of the Day

Cinderella Landholt

With pictures this hot, I'm pretty sure that I could write just about anything today and you won't read one word. Let's call it the Cindy Effect. You're not listening, are you? And where are your hands now? Above the table, please. Oh I give up. I should know better than to post pics like these and expect anyone to pay any attention to me...

Wednesday, 27 February 2013

Unbuttoned/Unzipped of the Day

Love Me, Love My Dog

Without some kind of protection, muscle babes are often accosted in public. These guys just kind of come up to me and start poking at my muscles, says one anonymous woman. They're not aggressive, far from it - actually they look kind of hypnotised, they just stare and sometimes drool. But it is a little unnerving. I work hard for this body and I'm not about to cover it up. So I bought a dog. Keeps most of them away.

When the FMS reporter admired her dog's muscular development and asked if she shared her 'special medicine' with the brute, the interview was, unfortunately, terminated. Terminated with extreme prejudice. The reporter is recovering well.

Tuesday, 26 February 2013

Unbuttoned/Unzipped of the Day
Q: What do muscle babes wear under their hoodies? A: Their muscles.

Penpraghai Tiangngok
One of FMS' Women of the Year in 2011, Penpraghai has taken a break from competing recently. We can now reveal that, among other things, she's set up her own life jacket business, and can be seen here modelling the PT-1000 Life Saver Deluxe.


Sunday, 24 February 2013

Unbuttoned/Unzipped of the Day

Unbuttoned Denim

Annie Riveccio
When you're this hot, Slave thinks it's almost criminal to cover up. Unfortunately, society as a whole disagrees. Annie manages to show off her incredible pecs and abs while simultaneously abiding by public decency laws.

Emery Miller
I couldn't get into this jacket you bought me after working out my arms, Emery tells us. So I ripped the sleeves off. What do you think? Nice.


Saturday, 23 February 2013

Unbuttoned/Unzipped of the Day

Let’s go back for a moment to the magazine years. The time when every issue of every major muscle mag contained pics of proper female bodybuilders. My female muscle lovin’ eye was always caught by images that are generally referred to these days as ‘Unbuttoned’ or ‘Unzipped’. As I remember, these images tended to be in Robert Kennedy’s Musclemag, always the racier of the major publications (maybe because it was Canadian) but I really can’t say with any certainty if that’s actually true or not.

Anyway, while Crockett and Tubbs were keeping Miami safe from crime, the muscle babes had big hair to go with their big muscles, and images like the ones below offered something a little different and a little more exciting than the usual training or posing pics, and not just because of those big bouffy 80s jackets with enormous collars. While displaying less than normal of the subject’s physique - the arms and shoulders were covered - at the same time the jackets were open, revealing a teasing glimpse of the bikini and the body underneath. As a result, my imagination was stimulated.

Marjo Selin and Cory Everson
This image of Marjo, in particular, seared itself into my brain, and many years later when I came across it again on the internet, it took me straight back to my teenage female muscle lovin' days. Those abs looked as good as they had the first time, but its her sultry beauty and the no-nonsense hand on the hip that elevates this image to iconic levels. One of the great female muscle images, methinks.

I would, of course, imagine what the muscles I couldn’t see would look like, using those I could as a guide to size and definition. I would reckon, for example, that judging by Sue Gafner’s thighs and abs, her shoulders are pretty damned ripped. And I would imagine that Sue had just opened the jacket. And she had opened it just for me because she wanted me to see her magnificent body. And she wasn’t going to stop there. Opening the jacket was just the start. She was going to take it all off.

Sue Gafner
The criminally-underrated Sue Gafner stimulated my youthful imagination.

The only thing that could be better, I reasoned, would be the unbuttoned jacket minus the bikini top. And fortunately, I wasn’t alone in that last fantasy. Several years down the road and the magazine years were over, but the greatest of all female muscle mags, WPW, now had a website, and it was there that I found my fantasy come true, courtesy of the photographer, of course, but more importantly, courtesy of the sizzling Joan Bovino holding her denim jacket open to reveal her ripped tanned muscles beneath.

Joan Bovino
Fantasy made reality!

Thanks to the efforts of the people who scan images from the magazine years for the pics of Marjo, Cory and Sue. I’m afraid the FMS archive is noticeably lacking in any more Unbuttoned/Unzipped pics from that era, but fortunately, there are plenty more recent examples of this particular niche genre of female muscle image.

Welcome to Unbuttoned/Unzipped week!

Friday, 22 February 2013

Ts of the Day
Not training like a man, as Tarna Alderman's T proclaimed earlier in the week, but training like a girl. And training like this girl is too much for you, my friend. Great mixture of irony, arrogance and attention-seeking, and (as necessary if you are going to wear a shirt like this) a terrific set of guns.
Alyssa Stroud and what I can only assume is her motto. Oh, and her ever-growing muscles. I do hope she continues to want mo. I want mo. And mo and mo.

But great as all the Ts this week have been, I think there can only be one winner...


PS. Apparently, it also comes in red...
Thanks to gwmstaff for the pic.

Thursday, 21 February 2013

Ts of the Day

Older and bolder

left: Sondra Faas: I Dare You to Stare
If you pull up your trousers, Sondra, I might be able to stop staring. Second thoughts, no I wouldn't. Great example of a muscle woman inviting even more attention than normal (and normally she gets a lot). Arrogance. Love it!
right: Heather Tristany: If You Love Him...
Even more arrogance, which is not surprising from a self-styled 'Goddess', on display here. In fact, this probably just about cleans up in the arrogance stakes. Deep down your man wants to be with me. And if I want to take him off you (for a while) I can and I will. Be warned! Sensationally self-confident.

Tomorrow, Swell's favourite muscle babe Ts. Stay tuned!

Wednesday, 20 February 2013

Ts of the Day

Complete the T...

We can sack the photographer on two counts here I reckon. Firstly, he's cut off the bottom of the slogan, even if it's not too hard to guess, it's missing nonetheless. Secondly, and more seriously, if you're going to take a picture of a lovely lady wearing a shirt that advertises her guns, get her to flex them dude!

Tuesday, 19 February 2013

Future Goddesses

In my virtual life (and I dare say yours too) the vast majority of women I see have muscles. All I have to do is power up, go to one of my favourite sites, and there they are. Hundreds, thousands of them. But when it comes to real life, I almost never see a woman with any noticeable amount of muscularity.

I’m not expecting to walk out of the house and bump into a Sarah Hayes clone at the corner shop (nice as it would be), I’m under no illusions that pro female bodybuilders are everywhere. I’m thinking more of the unknown women, the women often referred to as the ‘Muscle Girl Next Door’.

I don’t live in London anymore, but neither do I live in the middle of nowhere. Surely you would think I’m going to see a few of those from time to time. But sadly, I don’t. And if I think back to when I did live in London, I didn’t see a lot of them there either. So who exactly do they live next door to?

Despite my (quite understandable) scepticism, they really are out there somewhere. Back in the days when trips to the newsagent’s was the only way to get my fix of female muscle, the women I saw were only ever big name bodybuilders or fitness competitors. Now, any woman who wants to share her newly-developed muscles with the world can do so, and fortunately for the female muscle head, lots of them are so inclined.

So they really are out there somewhere. And they’re not just posting images of themselves proudly flexing their new bits for our enjoyment, on muscle forums they’re asking for training tips, discussing nutrition, giving each other support and encouragement, and (as women are so good at doing) talking about how they feel about themselves and their bodies.

I just noticed a few days ago that my under arm jiggle went away! Now, my entire arm is firm.

A few weeks ago I frightened myself in the bathroom while I was washing my hands...I saw my arms in the mirror and there were these two balloons of biceps and flexing muscles in my lower arms.

My arms have always been wimpy, like I'd flex and tell my boyfriend to feel my bicep and he'd say "well, flex it!" AND I WAS FLEXING ALREADY! Haha. Pathetic little arms! NOW They are getting much more defined, and you can actually see them get BIGGER when I flex!

For the first time ever, I can actually see my abs in the mirror now thanks to re-working my diet and doing a lot of cardio.

I love when I find new lines. My biceps have recently begun to show more and my inner thighs... the sexiest muscle!

I've just recently noticed that I'm starting to see my triceps, and my shoulder muscles are more defined. I just realized this last night and I'm sooooo excited!

This morning while I was brushing my hair I noticed that I could see the muscles moving. Then I spent a few shameless minutes flexing and watching in the mirror.

Women feeling positive about having muscles and sharing that feeling can inspire others to do the same and add to the amount of female muscle in the world, which is, I’m sure you will agree, just wonderful. But there is another reason to celebrate the ‘Muscle Girl Next Door’.

Last month, I came across an article in the Mail Online that reported that Faddy diets and fears that muscles aren't feminine have left modern women weaker than their grannies. In the article, London-based physiotherapist Sammy Margo says we are facing a massive epidemic of weak women who have no muscle strength. Both skinny and overweight women face health problems in the future. The skinny have no muscles to support their skeleton while the overweight women have no muscles under the fat. Lack of muscle may lead to problems such as osteoporosis and fractures, arthritis and back pain.

It takes only a cursory comparison of the covers of men’s and women’s magazines to understand the differences in what motivates men and women to exercise, says the article. While men strive to get ‘the ultimate six-pack’ and ‘more body bulk now’, women’s objectives tend to be negative - to lose fat and burn calories rather than gain strength. The majority of young females want to look thin. They don’t eat much, they don’t exercise much, and because of that they have weak musculatures - it’s really not a healthy way to be.

The ‘Muscle Girl Next Door’ then, is not only looking better (although that’s just our opinion), and feeling better, but they are also more than a few sets ahead of the vast majority of their peers when it comes to strength and future health.

As a reflection of this, I think I’m going to stop using the phrase ‘Girl Next Door’. It’s not only inaccurate in the specific sense that it doesn’t apply to my neighbours (past or present), but it’s also inaccurate in the general sense that the vast majority of women are, according to the article anyway, totally lacking in any muscle at all.

I propose ‘Future Goddess’ as a better description. Again, for two reasons. Number one is that, well, every muscle goddess started out as a ‘Girl Next Door’, so even if only one of these hundreds and thousands of budding muscle babes make it to the pros, they are all potential goddesses. Secondly, well, if the research reported in the article is to be believed, these women will, in the future, seem like goddesses compared to their peers: strong and dynamic as opposed to hunched and arthritic.
Theresa Ivancik (from Area Orion)
Every goddess was once a ‘Future Goddess’

They’ll be a breed of super women. Super women who bucked the trend and encouraged others to do so too. They will grow in number, and with a bit of luck, one of them might move in next door!

Hail the Future Goddess!

Ts of the Day

Just Do It: Muscle Babe Imperatives

left: Harden the F*@k Up
If she keeps standing there looking at me with that smile and those shoulders,
there will almost certainly be some hardening going on.
right: Marie Samperio: Kiss My Abs!
Talking of hardening up... I've posted this smouldering sex bomb before, and I dare say you'll be seeing the same photo again. If she had any more sex appeal, she'd need a truck to carry it around in. 'Kiss My Abs'? For starters I might!

Grip This
A man could get into trouble when bodies like these wear such messages. But her T-shirt told me to is not, I believe, a defence that will impress the judge much.

Proceed with caution my brethren.

Monday, 18 February 2013

Ts of the Day

All about me
You, Gina? Just give me a chance and you'll see how spoiled you can be...
An interesting vein and an interesting claim.
I think we can all agree that a gym goddess is better than a domestic one.


Sunday, 17 February 2013

Ts of the Day

Two of FMS' Women of the Year  model today's messages.

left: Tarna Alderman: Train Like a Man, Look Like a Goddess
If you are going to wear that on your gym vest, you'd better look good, and the lovely Tarna fits the bill effortlessly. It seems to me that this is quite a compliment to men, because there are probably few men who train as hard as someone like Tarna, and I've always heard that women do, in fact, have to train harder. Either way, Tarna is most definitely a goddess. A very gorgeous pumped-up sweaty goddess whose muscles are going to need a good massage. Anybody?
right: Gillian Kovack: Wanna Play... Your Gym or Mine?
There's enough heat coming off Ms Kovack and the poor vest she's attempting to turn into a dress to make even the most confident hombre think twice about approaching without safety goggles and flame-proof overalls. The last guy who said 'Yes' to this vest's question was carried out of his gym on a stretcher and weeks later is still recovering. Never made it past the warm-up set, Gillian tells us. Yikes!