1am UK time. And the evening show feed somewhat bizarrely begins not with a view of the stage but with a male and female host preparing to do their bit to camera. Though their handheld mics are not on, we can hear everything they say. The male host takes exception to the light a member of the audience's phone is shining on him, and gives the unfortunate chap a right dressing down. "See that camera?" says the host, indicating the feed camera after embarrassing the poor man. "The whole world saw that."
Bit of an exaggeration. There were, at the time, fewer than 200 people watching the feed (according to the on-screen counter anyway). Hardly "the whole world".
The hosts do their bit, the female host telling us she's just come out from backstage (bit of an exaggeration too, she's been standing right there in plain sight for the last 10 minutes!) and "you can feel the excitement back there". Indeed. Get on with it! I yell at my computer screen, and mercifully they do. The camera pans up to the stage again, and to emcee Sarah Hurrle, who tells us we are about to see the Fitness routines.
They were, and always are, essential viewing. One by one they came on and performed moves of considerable athleticism and power in breathtaking combinations and at breathtaking speed. Such strength and grace, such flexibility. They are gymnasts and dancers; they are tumblers and contortionists. They are, quite simply, amazing.
Pick of the routines for me and ultimately the judges were those performed by the eventual top 3 - winner (again) Ryall Graber (above, bottom right), runner-up Jeanine Taddeo (top), and the gorgeous Duracell-bunny Kristine Duba.
Time for Cydney Gillon (or "Gillian" as emcee Sarah kept saying - you'd think she'd know how to say Ms Olympia's name!) to pick up her (modest) cheque plus sash plus medal plus tiara plus massive sword (although not necessarily in that order).
It took a while to get it all on her - She must be used to winning by now! joked Sarah as the licensed schmotographers waited for the medal and sash to get untangled so the post-victory photo could be taken. Cydney, who was one of FMS' Women of the Year in 2017 as well as being a big riser on your Hot and Hard 100, looked every inch the flawless champion again here, and this fan - who can never keep his hands above when Cydney's doing her stuff - will definitely be rooting for her at the Figure O this weekend.
I sent my (sincere and respectful) congratulations to Cyd as the Bikini girls started to come out. When I was done they were still coming out. I did a bit of social media research, made a cup of tea, and checked the chatrooms - and was amazed to find the majority of the female muscle lovin' world were just having a normal Saturday night. Bikini was still going. Almost 3am. Photos from the prejudging had gone up on Maximum Muscle Report I noticed so I browsed - as you do - impatiently. When the FBBing pics started to go up I got even itchier. Bikini awards... Over 40 Bikini...
FINALLY!
The top 4 from the morning were again the standout competitors. First out was Michaela - fan favourite of the fan who "only likes the big, freaky FBBs", and then there was Natalia Coelho - emcee Sarah didn't exactly cover herself in glory again: "Natalie Culo"?! The glootilicious Heather Grace was third of the four to perform her routine, and lastly a woman who truly deserves more attention from the female muscle lovin' community than she currently gets - the beautiful, beastly Jennifer Taylor.
It was close. The judges had the four out again for a comparison, and had them switch positions over and over. What a treat to get to see these four Physique Dreams showing off their spectacular bodies together - a treat, Sarah reminded us, that we will may well get to have again this weekend at the Olympia. Right to the edge they took me - and then, as the judges still couldn't make up their minds, the whole line-up at once.
Posedown!
I almost lost it as Michaela elbowed her way to the front and centre and stood slap bang in the spotlight, almost lost it again as Jodi Boam did exactly the same. The only thing this stopped the show of erotic muscle theatre taking me over the edge was the fact that all of a sudden it was over. The judges had decided. Last year's champ Heather took 4th, Michaela 3rd... And then, Sarah announced it. Despite Jennifer's magnificence, the future had won. At just 22, and having only made the switch from Figure after the Olympia last year, Natalia had claimed her 3rd pro title.
What a body! I said out loud as they all gave her a kiss and a hug in congratulation. Over the music I could just about hear there was plenty of whooping and hollering going on. I pictured myself there, whooping and hollering my appreciation as well, and noticed there were now 600+ watching the live feed. A-whooping and a-hollering all over the world for Natalia and the rest of the Physique Dreams, or like "Benjamin Harrison" (see yesterday) had they just tuned in too early for the main event?
And an event it certainly was. Build-up and then build-up for every single one of the 20 women in the line-up via their own personal "films". These ranged in style and quality from Margie's Q&A with herself (who was asking the questions was never made clear, and it had apparently been filmed on someone's phone) to Virginia Sanchez's much more high production effort, complete with drone shots of Spain's most beast jogging through El Retiro. Pauline Nelson's included close-ups of her body so close you could see the sweat emerging from the pores - HOT! - while Jay Fuchs somehow managed to make a day in the life of a top FBB look (and sound) rather dull. We learned Susanna Jacobs and LaDawn McDay are both inspirational teachers, and the best part of Helle's day is taken up with personally training children with disabilities.
At their best, the films heightened anticipation for the posing routines. And many of these routines - as different as the styles of the films had been - were truly spectacular.
You expect Sheila's is going to be great, and she never disappoints. As I watched her film, her basso profundo voice got me all excited and ready for her, and as she posed flawlessly in between getting down and sexy on the stage, I was hypnotised.
Nicki Chartrand was a revelation. Sexy, sassy and quite obviously loving every second of her spotlight moment, she almost flexed her suit off (in my head). Gene X's marvellous shots of her in full flow really capture the ecstasy of it all - for Nicki and this viewer! Her routine was good enough to win the Best Poser award and deservedly so.
You can hear the crowd - those of them capable of more than a gasp and moan at least (which was all I could manage at that point) - loud and clear. That routine was HOT!
Margie, who had pretty much outsexied everyone in 2015 and 2016, couldn't quite match it on this occasion. Not that she wasn't very very big and very very sexy, but Nicki held those poses between the killer moves just a bit longer. Margie's routine was, in fact, the shortest of all - less than 90 seconds, in fact - and finished in terms of posing long before the song had finished. For the first time I seriously wondered whether Margie - who looked below her absolutely killer best - had done enough to win again. I noted it at the time (I will send you a pic of the page in my notebook if you like, not that that will prove much regarding when I wrote it, but on request, it's yours to inspect).
Once again, the Rising Phoenix was producing a show with no clear winner.
McDay, Mikola and McCready kept my intensity levels high, and then Pauline Nelson took to the stage like a pantheress on heat determined to mate. The 600+ stream viewers the Physique final had had had now dropped to just over 450. Some people don't know what they're missing, I thought to myself, emitting the first of the many long moans of pleasure that Pauline's intensely sensual routine would get out of me.
Somehow though, I survived Pauline's onslaught. Alina was up next...
If the clip was up (at the time of writing it wasn't), I'd post it. Unlike Margie, Alina rushed nothing. Every pose lingered - she eyed the muscle, she eyed the judges. Calm, composed, big and beautiful. The word that came to mind at the time (again, notebook if you want it, it's one the same page as my Margie musings Margie) was REGAL.
Only Helle left of the "serious contenders". Last year she had, in fact, turned a deficit from the prejudging around in the evening to tie Sheila Bleck and ultimately get the decision. Could she do it again? It would have to be special. I watched Virginia Sanchez, one of the bigger upper bodies in the show, perform a routine fitting of her new-found status as a top 6 regular. But when Helle came on - at least one application of Protan darker than that morning - suddenly Virginia didn't seem quite so big.
The shock and awe Helle of the 2016 Rising Phoenix was back, and I was shocked and awed for real. Monster mass, massive meat. I made other exclamations as I watched (no doubt actually drooling, my eyes on cartoon stalks, and my hands, well, you can imagine where my hands were) but the one I can print without fear of editorial cutting it out for obscenity was: MMMMUSCLE!!! It was everywhere. Clearly, Helle had decided that if she was going to lose her title - and all signs from the prejudging indicated that she would - she was going to go down blazing. And it was glorious.
5am had come and gone. I'd been awake now since 7 the previous morning, and had spent well over 7 hours watching the show's two parts. The last 80 or so minutes had been the most intensely exciting of all. I was 100% ready for my big finish.
There were comparisons, but I have very little memory of them.
Sheila v Alina v Margie - Helle, it seemed, hadn't moved into contention.
I waited for the magic word... POSEDOWN!!!
I knew this was the end right away. That feeling, that very familiar feeling that I was about to be overwhelmed by muscle, slowly started to work its way through my body. I love that feeling - I probably love it a bit too much, truth be told, and it's a feeling I have never been able to stop craving. But this was not your normal Saturday night feeling, not after the best part of 7 hours of fine female muscle, the last 80 minutes of which had grown gradually more and more intense. This was rather special.
These (amazing) Gene X shots are not what you see on the feed, which was a wide shot, taking in the entire stage. I struggled at first - where to look with so much meat to choose from? Then individuals and groups came into focus - Isabelle and Margie getting themselves to the front and centre; McCready and Mikola doing the old school thing of hitting the same poses side-by-side, muscle on muscle; and then I see Helle off to the left of the stage, so near the front her toes might actually be over the edge...
She's demanding attention from the audience over there, pointing at them, then pointing where she wants them to look. The feeling rises in me, I wait for it to reach its climactic peak... Quad shake, that's what she's pointing at, that's where she wants them to look, now the other leg, shake... and BOOM! No more visuals necessary, my eyes are rolling back in their sockets, my cock engorges in my hand, I AM that guy in the audience looking up at her, still the reigning Ms Rising Phoenix for another few minutes and the biggest woman on that stage, and she's shaking her quads for my eyes only, because she knows, she knows what it does to me and giving me that feeling of being so helplessly lost in total muscle ecstasy is the last thing she is going to do as the reigning Queen of Muscle and I'm peaking now, THIS... I can barely talk... IS... and she can't possibly hear me ... ALLL... but for some reason I need to tell her... FORRR... I feel it come and when it comes it comes like... like I don't remember... YOUUUUU!!!
It's 5.45am my time. I am somewhat tired and more than a bit boss-eyed. Alina's just been crowned Ms Rising Phoenix 2018, but it was the joyous 20-woman posedown before the prizes were handed out that led to my own - explosive - personal climax.
Finally, it's over. Helle, thank you. I hope it was wonderful for you too.
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