Chicago 2017: Physique Dreams

From top left, clockwise: Reville, Reid, Swansen & Smith

As we saw yesterday, Hanna Hallman may have moved on to bigger and better things, but there was still plenty to enjoy in the Women's Physique Division, not least the gorgeousness of Jillian Reville (15th) and Jenna Reid (3rd), perennial FMS fave Susan Smith (4th), and the Olympia-bound winner Autumn Swansen.

It was a long line-up. 27 women in total. Big on muscle, big on quality.

FMS was not, luckily for all concerned, judging, and nor (as we are totally, utterly unqualified to do so) are we judging now. However, we have picked a "Top 5 Swoons".

Here they are in all their Physique dreaminess...

LAUREN QUINN




Long time no see, Lauren. It must be all of, well, about two weeks since you won your pro card at the Jr Nationals, and you just couldn't wait to use it, could you?




I am not complaining. I do LOVE that chest.

Lauren was "unplaced" in case you're interested, as was our second Physique Dream.

KATIE LEE




How the judges can ignore Katie's considerable charms - the rear bicep peak alone would have me spoiling my scorecard - is quite beyond me, but ignore them, to some extent, is what they did. I thought Katie looked as good as she has ever done. They thought she wasn't even worth the top 15. Sign of a quality field? Sign of the times?




Katie thanked her fellow competitors for making the weekend "so memorable and fun" afterwards. She also thanked the promoter. She didn't thank the judges. Looking forward to improving and continuing to change lives by sharing my journey, she also said. Not sure sharing your journey has quite changed my life, Katie, but I've certainly spent probably a bit too much of it following your journey - and will continue to do so as long as you keep looking as tanned, hard and muscle sexy as this.

ALLISON SCHMOHL




Schmoes who hate tats and implants LOVE Allison, and they are not the only schmoes in the Schmohl fan club who go all schmingly for the "SERIOUS muscle" (not my capitals) she has packed on since winning her pro card at the 2015 Jr USAs.




All Allison had to schmow for it [stop it now - ed.] before Chicago this year was a 13th at last year's San Antonio Pro. And a lot of fans. From the depths of my heart, writes one such Schmolette, thank you Allison for incarnating perfection. Who can resist that schmile? [seriously, you need to stop doing that now - ed.]

PALOMA PARRA




Looking as gnarly and hard as ever (ie. damn hard and gnarly) "The Veins from Spain", aka Paloma Parra, continued an excellent year with a 7th place here. Paloma also competed in the Masters Physique class, where she placed 6th, slightly odd because it meant she placed below women she had finished above in the Open class. Unless, that is, you are an IFBB judge I suppose, in which case it no doubt makes perfect sense.




Her back is out of this world, reckons one recent forum poster. I reckon she's all other-worldly. Now over 50 and still flaunting her own uniquely freaky, vascular sex appeal, Paloma was the only Women's Physique competitor from outside North America.

DIANA SCHNAIDT




Diana, your Hot and Hard 100 #11 for 2017, continues, in the words of Hanna Hallman, to "inch her way ever closer to the Olympia". Her qualification points for finishing 2nd here probably represent more of a leap than a shuffle in that direction, she now sits in joint third place in the table, and it is the top 3 who will qualify.




Another month, another show, another improvement for the tireless Diana. Her not overly-muscular, super-ripped, model-looks package may just have hit the WPD judging zeitgeist on the nose - as it did here with the Chicago judges - at just the right time for her to get her a place at the Olympia. She's certainly not getting any worse. Those abs and glutes alone make her FMS' #1 Chicago Physique Dream.

Check out more of these Physique Dreams, and more here.

The Mighty Quinn: Greatest Hits

Lauren doesn't always seem to be especially appreciative of male admiration, which - and I guess I would (being an appreciative male) say this anyway but - I think is a shame, because she gets plenty of the typical "look like a man" hate, so you'd hope, as long as we don't overdo it, that our support would be a positive force for her.

For today, FMS has compiled a Top 10 of her most popular (in terms of forum hits) pics, along with some of the more respectful (although not always terribly respectful) thoughts of those who frequent those forums. Lauren might disapprove.

We might yet change her mind though.



Besides, it's not always her most obviously glamorous or "sexiest" pics that get all the attention. A "very tough-looking" and "very beautiful" Lauren in glasses, no make-up, "in the cleaning lady's way", and not even flexing can do it for the collective us.



Now we all probably noticed the forearm veins in the "tough-looking" pic, because that's what we are about really - #1 the detail: the "mighty, chiselled quads", and #2, the display: "she loves to flex those plates of steel, to show them off". If you don't want the attention and the comments, don't put those "PECS!" in front of the camera like that. And anyway, I'm sure Lauren would agree that "When you have such big, gorgeous pecs... who need breasts?" Or at least she would have until she bought some.



This 2015 gem is, one forum bod reckons, "absolutely perfect", and certainly caused more than one other to share (OK, less than respectful/"sexual undertone" type) thoughts that nevertheless are able to summarise the female muscle head perspective rather succinctly. "Awesome thick muscular arms = erotic". It's a fact!



Personally, I love a pic where a muscular goddess is obviously feeling like one, whether she's communicating that fact with a flex and a roar or a self-satisfied smirk. Take your time with the pic on the right, it's worth it. Impossibly defined lats spilling out of her vest, the HUGE vein on her thick bicep, the unnaturally tight butt packed into the camo pants, and best of all the tributaries covering her forearm. It all adds up to the sort of image that gets lots of comments, few of them more than a single word (as, you know, it's hard to type and all). Someone managed two though, calling Lauren a "super model", which she surely can't complain about cos she's all about the being a woman and having the muscles and not conforming to the size zero stereotype.



This one has got a lot of hits more because of a debate about whether she might have been more considerate about the other people in the gym who might not want to be in the photo. Thought occurs to me though that she might have been taking it to show us the fella who is clearly digging being in the same mirror space as Lauren, although point taken, she could have cropped out everyone else if that were the case. The fella on the right could well be in the Witness Protection Program, for example.



Alone at last. "I'd worship at that temple" is, I guess, exactly the kind of thing that Lauren isn't especially into reading, but I wonder if she does get (at least) a little kick out of being called "Goddess". The strong pose; the intense look. So FIERCE.



And finally, we leave you with the most popular of them all. A "sparkling", "ravishing" Lauren from 2015 and the NPC Nationals. And we want to leave respectfully, so... Is it any wonder she's radiant and full of womanly confidence with such a perfect body?

How's that, Lauren?