Sunday 10 February 2013

Saint Valentina: I Heart Muscle

Readers from the UK may remember the TV series Louis Theroux’ Weird Weekends, indeed female muscle lovers all over the world may be aware of one particular episode involving female bodybuilding (there’s a clip from that show of him meeting fans at the Jan Tana that has been posted up on forum boards and blogs - you can see the whole episode here).

Less well-known to female muscle heads, however, is an episode from the same series, in which Louis meets hypnotists, including a pick-up artist who tries to teach him how to be successful with women. In a scene in a gym, there is, very briefly, an appearance by a woman who reminds me of Kelly Felske. It’s over in a flash, and I can remember sitting there watching it when it was first broadcast and wondering if I had just imagined it. I probably did imagine it, on seeing a repeat, she doesn't look a lot like Kelly Felske (and if it is her, she's past her peak).

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Even though I'm pretty sure now that it wasn't actually Kelly in the clip, the fact that I imagined she was in the documentary says something about my mental state. I probably shouldn't think too much more about that, but it's not going to stop me posting a couple of pics of this gorgeous old school goddess at her peak.

Anyway, the pick-up artist basically takes Louis to places where he regularly picks up women, and the gym is one of those. While he’s talking Louis through how he does it (they are kind of working out at the same time) the artist spies 'Kelly', and we get a brief shot of her loading a plate onto a barbell.

The artist stops talking for a moment as he gazes at 'Kelly'. Then he turns back to Louis and says: Now that’s what I love on a woman… Muscle.

And then the episode just carries on as before. There is, unfortunately maybe, no scene where the guy actually picks up a muscle woman – as I remember he doesn’t pick up a woman in the gym at all.

So why am I telling you all about this? Well, there is a point, and it is this. Lovers of female muscle (myself included) seem to spend a lot of time justifying what it is we love about it to ourselves, to each other, maybe even to those who deride our preference. And when we do, we don’t usually put it as succinctly as the pick up artist, but basically, that is what it is all about – the muscles. Maybe we don’t say it because it’s just so obvious. But nevertheless, it needs to be said, so here I go…

In the same way that many guys can’t understand what we find arousing about female bodybuilders, I can’t conceive what it is like to not be aroused by muscles on a woman. When others say female bodybuilders lack the curves of a conventionally sexy woman, I am genuinely confused. I too love curves on a woman, and muscle women have curves everywhere because they are covered in muscles. They have curves in places that most women don’t have places. To me, they are the most curvaceous, and therefore, the sexiest, women of all.

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Hot stuff: from Zuzana to Gillian and all points inbetween, for me, it's always been about those sexy muscular curves.

I love the way muscles look whether relaxed or flexed, in motion or frozen in a photographic image. If sthenolagnia is ‘arousal by the display of strength or muscles’, then the keywords for me are ‘display’ and ‘muscles’.

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Back in the days of the trip to the newsagent’s to get my female muscle fixes, I would buy the magazines so that I could masturbate while looking at the pictures of the likes of Cory, Anja etc. And I did plenty of that. But I also remember that I would spend a lot of time just following the contours of their bodies with my eyes, thinking about how perfect their bodies were.

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First loves: Cory and Anja provided early examples of physical perfection to my teenage female muscle lovin' mind.

And I dreamed that one day I would get to touch those muscles, to follow the contours of those magnificent bodies with not just my eyes, but with my hands. To feel the hard muscle beneath the skin, well, I couldn’t imagine anything better.

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Looks good, feels good, tastes good.

Unfortunately, I never got to touch Cory or Anja! But I have felt the muscles of dancers, gymnasts and martial artists with my own hands (hands that were shaking with the excitement of the moment) and even despite my idealised expectations, I was not disappointed. It was heaven!

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I’ve lived long enough to know that it’s muscle that turns me on more than anything. I love it. Any amount of it will do, but the more muscle there is, the more defined and proportional it is, the more turned on I will be. I simply find muscular female physiques to be more beautiful and more sensual than any other body type.

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'Any amount of muscle will do', but we all have our favourite bodies and our favourite bodyparts. Two of my favourite muscle women and two of my favourite bodyparts. Cathy Le Francois' striated glutes and the incredible ripped eight-pack of Oana Hreapca are among many of mine.

Hi, my name’s David, and I’m a female muscle lover.

Happy Saint Valentina's Day!

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