Back Is Beautiful: My Wife the FMG?!

You might be lucky enough to live in California, Brazil, Rochdale, or another as yet unidentified female muscle hotspot, but for those of us who don't, the chances of running into a female bodybuilder in the course of our daily lives are pretty slim. And the chances of turning that unlikely meeting into a lasting relationship are even slimmer. Should the female muscle head hold out for that one in a million chance, or should he get on with his life and find love with a woman who isn't his highly muscular physical ideal but who nevertheless ticks plenty of his other boxes?

It seems that most, myself included, take the latter course.



Where does that course lead? Well, speaking for myself, it leads to spending a lot of time wondering how to get my slim, somewhat toned wife to take up weight training. Or, more accurately, how to get her to start putting some muscle onto that (already sexy) frame of hers and making all my female muscle dreams come true.



This may or may not sound familiar to you, but I'm betting it does. It's a topic that comes up again and again on the forums, and the perceived wisdom is that, first and foremost, if you want your woman to work out, you need to work out. And you need to work out and get results too. The forums are full of the sob stories of those who sit on their sofa, point out to their significant others how hot muscular women are, and ask her why she doesn't try to look like that. They usually end with something like 'The relationship was never the same after that', or 'She left me'.

All the advice I and the rest of the FMS Research Team have unearthed about persuading your wife or girlfriend (or wife and girlfriend if that's the way you roll) to train with weights pretty much assumes that you train with weights yourself. It's a given. You shouldn't consider it to be 'step 1' so much as step zero.



There are, of course, no guarantees. You can drop all the hints you want about how attractive you think this or that fit woman is. You can do your amateur psychology and compliment her on her body and throw in something like 'Have you been sneaking off to the gym without telling me?' You can show her one of your female muscle DVDs (if you really think that's going to work). When all is said and done, your wife or your girlfriend is not going to start weight training until she decides she wants to.



And there is very little reason why she should, and very many reasons why she shouldn't. Not in the normal world. Virtually everything ever written in the mainstream media about exercising 'for women' sticks them in the cardio room with ankle weights, ready to pump-n-tone, one (particularly good) article from T Nation reminds us. That's why every article that does encourage women to train with weights reassures them it won't mean they'll lose their femininity.



I've been on step zero for years now. I've been working out for as long as my wife has known me. And to be honest, dear reader, I'd given up the ghost. She does yoga, she goes power walking. She's done pilates, zumba, combat cardio (once or twice), spinning, even a few sessions with clubs. Weights, never. And she's never shown any interest. And I was fine with that. But then, one evening a few weeks ago, we were both watching the World Indoor Athletics Championships.

WIFE: These women are like...

[pauses as she searches for the right word, I'm guessing 'beasts' or something]

ME: Like athletes?

WIFE: I was going to say magnificent.

At which point I was fucking speechless!



Seems that I'm suddenly, after all these years, at step 1. My wife has decided a bit of muscle is going to be good for her (I agree!) and, thorough as she is, she has been doing her research into how to go about it. And you can bet your ass I am being supportive. You've never seen anything so supportive. I have cancelled my gym membership because she wouldn't feel comfortable in my gym, and I have joined her "McDonald's style" gym so we can work out together. I have paid for six weeks of personal training with a trainer whose physique she has expressed her admiration for.

And I have even taken her shopping for gym wear, which was particularly great, not least because during that expedition my wife told me she thought the hot fit chick in the Pro Fitness poster in the shop had sexy abs. Yes!



I tell myself I shouldn't be getting too carried away because she may decide it's not for her, or worse still, she might start to develop her muscles and only then decide it's not for her. I am all over the advice columns to try to prevent this from happening, and they tell me if I provide some quality external motivation (being supportive, being complimentary), the chances of her internal motivation developing are higher. If she really does admire her trainer's physique that much, this will also help her catch the bug. If she can just make it a habit long enough to see some results, there's a better chance of her sticking with it and building some real muscle.

My wife, a future muscle goddess?! Stay tuned, dear reader. If this goes how I dream it goes, I promise I won't be able to shut up and stop writing about it. Wish me luck.



Enjoy!