Wednesday, 31 May 2017

Muscle in a Provincial City

So, yes, those of you who read it as a kind of cryptic version of the truth, the post from Sunday 21st about "the FMS campaign bus" having "a bit of a prang", it was. I really was in a car accident. Not, thankfully, anything too major, but the car I won't see again, I was injured enough to be off work for some days, and, at the time I wrote that 21/5 post, I was a little bit out of my gourd on painkillers. All better now, and back to work today (25th May - this is relevant - not the 31st, the earliest you'll be reading this).

So, although I am originally from London, these days me and the wife live out in the sticks, as they say, though my office is in the nearest city. It's not a big place, one of the smaller cities in Britain. Not a place I expect or see much female muscle. Lived up here for getting on six years now and I can count the sightings on, well, two fingers. Today, however, I've discovered things have changed in the week or so I've been off.

We've had a mini-heatwave here in the UK over the last few days. Hottest May day ever, apparently. So, bodies on display, and, to my delight, female muscle on display. I saw more of it today in about 30 minutes than I have seen in the preceding six years, more than I ever saw concentrated in one place in all my many years in London.

More, in fact, than I've ever seen in such quick succession in my entire life.

Now before you all email me for my postcode and a local estate agent that I would recommend, I should point out that I am not talking about what you or I would call Female Bodybuilders here. I am not talking about female bodybuilders in the wider mainstream media sense of the word either. But I am talking about muscle.

#1 - Not twenty yards from the front of the office, lady in her mid-30s perhaps, bare arms, nice tan, well-defined shoulders and a bicep that just popped up and said hello when she put her phone to her ear. BOOM! #2 - By the big department store in the city centre, I'd just finished chatting with my morning coffee guy and towards me comes a lady either on her way to or from the gym - sports bag, vest, lycra leggings, shoulders, a sensational wide back, and even better, properly big legs. She really did BOOM! as she passed - I could feel her power in the rush of air she left in her wake...

How long have I been off?

Did I die in that car crash and I'm now in some kind of slowly emerging heaven?

#3/#4 - I get lunch from the market and, like many other people, sit on the steps outside the city's signature modern building to enjoy the sun while I munch. I'm still reeling slightly from #2, so I don't even scope out the crowd and position myself accordingly. Within minutes though I realise I couldn't have placed myself better. BOOM! #3 is about five metres away from me, casually chatting with a friend. In shorts, she is, apparently, flexing her thighs as she stretches out her legs. I actually rubbed my eyes to make sure I wasn't imagining it (and/or dreaming!). I look her way again, she's leaning back, supporting her weight on her arms. BOOM! Nice shoulders. Visible triceps. Minutes later - I'm still ogling her but don't fail to notice a cyclist in full gear who is chaining up her bike on the racks opposite is a lot more than just her cyclist's legs. BOOM! She can't hide her arms in a cycling top, not this lady.

What is going on?

Legs and triceps gets up and leaves while I'm still sitting there. She's quite a sight standing, tall and lean, my guess would be a runner, possibly a serious, competitive one, but not thick like a sprinter, middle or long distance. Perhaps I'm way off, perhaps she, like the other ladies I saw today, like my wife, are just part of the strong is sexy zeitgeist. I'm already writing this post as I stroll back towards the office, mentally visualising each sighting in detail so I can better describe them. BOOM! #5 - The couple that works out together, well, a couple that works out together, he's big and lean and very impressive in his tight top, but she, she is quite something too. Tanned, short and stocky and quite the little powerhouse with her protein shake in her hand, two steps to every one of his strides. They're in front of me and I am totally not going to pass up the opportunity to perve on her tight, muscular bum a little. So I don't.

I have to wait a few hours and be on my way back to the car when I see #6. Having received all the blessings I could ever want for the day I was not expecting a #6, but there she is, mid-30s probably, tanned in her summer dress, waiting for someone it seems, toned arms. She's been doing some curls over the winter months.

Could those painkillers really be so slow to wear off? I'm still slightly reeling. I'm wondering if every day is going to be like this now, or have I just used up my allotted number of sightings for the next six years? More seriously, is this happening elsewhere? Has the new era finally dawned? Is this what we can expect from now on?

Enjoy? You bet I will!

Pics just illustrations, no relation to actual sightings.

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