Brace yourselves, there's some cerious cize among the Cs.
The A-Z of HUGE
C is for...
CALO, Maria
One of the stars of the Louis Theroux exposé of the world of bodybuilding, the massive Maria was the first ever Argentinian to become an IFBB pro. From the first time I saw large muscles on women in a competition on American television, I knew I had to have them, she said. For me muscles are very beautiful and very feminine.
CALVES
Calves are the only muscles that can develop naturally in non-FBBs, providing female muscle heads the world over with cheap street thrills, but also potentially hoodwinking them into expecting the owners of such naturally-big calves to have just as much muscle elsewhere. Similarly, there are some muscle women whose calves are disproportionately large and (rightly) celebrated (Sandy Vu, Jen Rish, Michelle Jin, and so on) but who don't have prodigious all over development. On the other hand, some of the biggest FBBs can spend their entire lives training their calves without these muscles becoming as spectacular as the rest of their bodies.
Heaven, therefore, is the really big FBB who has the big-calf genetics. Christine, Helle, and Iris Kyle, for example, whose calves were reported in 2010 to be a freaky 18 inches round, and who just might have won one or two of her Olympia titles because of her superior calves when all other things were equal with her closest rivals.
They are, it seems to me, the most curious of muscles - sometimes bigger in smaller women, sometimes noticeably smaller on otherwise massive women. And they are also perhaps the most endangered muscles of all as well. In Asia and elsewhere, calf-reducion surgery is on the rise (see FMS passim). It's the devil's work for sure.
CHRISTINE
From Ms Bendigo 1991 to Ms Southern Hemisphere 2005 via three NABBA World titles was the first part of Christine Envall's story. A return to pro competition in 2013 kicked off the second part, 2014 marked her debut at the Ms Olympia, and this year, at the age of 43, she won her first ever pro title in Toronto.
She was the original super freaky muscle woman. She was a "growth experiment fantasy made flesh". She was a huge, rippling female muscle wonder of the world. My own personal Christine highlights would include footage and images of her at the New York Muscle Club; the occasional (and given the sheer amount of muscle on her 5'3" frame and the gusto with which she displayed it, inevitable) posing suit malfunctions; the Awefilms clip where she "discovers" she can flex her pecs; and the unbelievably arousing images of her bronzed, naked and ever so slightly coy.
FMS, "Christine Envall AT LAST!", September 2014
Her win in Toronto was, she said, the result of eight months of extremely hard training: 2 x 30-minute cardio sessions each day and 18 weeks of controlled food intake. Not to mention a focus on presentation and posing to help display my physique the way it should be seen. Yeah, and the other twenty-plus years of work!
CLITOROMEGALY
Because of competitive bodybuilding and my use of anabolic steroids my clit has grown considerably larger and this has made sex way better. Incredible orgasms!
Dawn Alison, quoted in "Sex, Muscle and Power...", February 2010
During the formative years of female muscle lovin' life, I had no idea. In the pre-internet era, such information simply wasn't readily available. When exactly I did become aware of it is hard to say. I guess it was a combination of Denise Masino's Muscle Elegance and articles and other bits and pieces I came across on the internet. I don't remember any particular moment of realisation, rather a very gradual dawning that there was yet another reason to be into female bodybuilders. These days, it's almost inconceivable a female muscle fan wouldn't know about that little (or not so little) bit extra that female bodybuilders bring to the party. It is, in every sense, out there. And it's not just the images of Denise, Angie Salvagno or whoever waving it at you. It's referred to in interviews, articles, and even academic papers.
FMS, "A (Not So) Little Secret", October 2013
I have personally known female bodybuilders who have had to tape their steroid-enlarged clitoris down to keep the bulge from showing during competition.
"Robert's Universe" [link dead]
COLETTE GUIMOND
Ironic that the woman who calls herself "Clitzilla" comes next...
Silly contest rules don't make us getting [sic] smaller and smaller. It just makes us wanting to get Xtra big. We don't work out with the girly weights. We lift heavy and pump to the eXtreme. We don't go for the softer look, because some people thinking that is more feminine. We create our own rules and go by "the more muscle, the seXier". We don't do weak girly poses. We fleX hard and tough in any pose we like.
We don't go for soft looks. We get as ripped and hard as possible!
Colette Guimond, MuscleXposed
Now well into her 50s, Colette continues to reign as the most super freaky super freak of all, still living by that philosophy. And I can't help but admire her for that.
CONNIE, CORNELIA BRANDT
I did warn you there was going to be some serious size! Even though it's been almost a decade since she disappeared (as far as I know) from the female muscle lovin' world, Connie is still a plenty incredible sight. And even more so when you remember that these photos were taken when she was in her early and mid twenties.
For me bodybuilding is about building muscles, especially very big muscles. I love big muscles on men and on women. But there has to be a certain symmetry combined with these big muscles. For me, it is also important a woman should look like a woman. A woman should combine muscle mass, symmetry, femininity.
Cornelia Brandt, quoted on AMG Lite
Don't forget to pick your jaw up from the floor after you check out Connie's amazing transformation from "an average looking girl" into "one of the biggest female bodybuilders in history" in a classic post from BIG Female Bodybuilders.
and CONTESTS
From the female muscle head's perspective...
Prejudging was almost deserted, which gave me the opportunity to be insanely bold. I got right next to the women's pump room before prejudging. When they were called to the stage at 10am, I was literally less than a foot away from them as they swaggered out of the pump room, their magnificent backs, butts, thighs, calves and feet right in my face as they passed by. I also got a close look at them when they had to make their way across the hotel lobby back to the pump room after prejudging, and one more time in the evening after the finals. In short, I got a huge muscle fix.
While it's indeed awesome to see so many muscular women in flesh, at the same time I get the affliction - you might know what I'm talking about. It's mouth-watering seeing all those huge women and not be able to do anything, while my body is aching to go and touch, feel, hug, kiss and, of course, do other things. It's suffering. All those muscles, and you can only watch, watch...
What do I dislike about bodybuilding contests? The weird mix of straight schmoes and gay schmoes and the resulting tension. The gay schmoes have this attitude like "WTF? This is OUR time! You have your Ms Hawaii Tropic Contests and your strip bars, leave us to OUR bodybuilding contests" while we straight schmoes would prefer there were ONLY female bodybuilding and the MBBs and their fans can GTFO. I remember sitting next to this guy last year in prejudging at the Tampa Pro show who was trying to find seats for his friends. I said to him that I was only there for the women's prejudging portion and that as soon as that was over I was outta there so he could have my seat. "Lemme get this straight," he said with this weird affectation, "You're here for the WOMEN?" It was almost as if I should be embarrassed for being a straight male at a bodybuilding contest!
If you've never been to a pro bodybuilding show featuring pro FBBs before, make it the number one priority in your life. Right now. I am not kidding you. These women in the flesh will drive you insane. They will make your jaw slack for a week. Videos and pics don't do their size justice. Think Kahla Bullemor looks pretty tiny up there on stage in the latest YouTube video? Wait until she lumbers by you in the lobby, her arms as big and thick as an NFL linebacker's, her muscular, arrogant ass making your butt look like a scrawny 13-year-old girl's! Watch Monique Jones tromp past you, and you will find yourself jabbering feverishly like a mental patient on the car ride home: "How could any woman POSSIBLY get that big?!" I could get high just from watching Janeen Lankowski: V-shaped back, bulging glutes, and monster calves from behind. Seriously, it is incredible, like seeing the Grand Canyon for the first time, or the Pyramids in Egypt. Start making plans to attend one of these pro shows soon. If you love female muscle, it WILL be the highlight of your year!
Well, that makes you think, doesn't it?!
Again, sorry if I have glaringly omitted a favourite of yours, whether a woman or an aspect of the female muscle lovin' experience. This is intended to be a work in progress that can always be updated later. So, if you've any gripes (or words of praise, they are always nice to get!) please comment below or email 6ft1swell@gmail.com
D will be next.
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