While I am slightly disappointed that Theresa didn't get her pro card this time - I think she was in her best ever shape here - there's also a large part of me that is secretly celebrating that fact. It's not because I'm a bad person, I just can't help liking the fact that now Theresa will have to do one more contest this year - the NPC Nationals in Florida in November. And that means more contest prep pictures...
FMS, "MUSCLE: Theresa Theresa", 21/09/15
As Lionel Richie is always saying, Well, my friends, the time has come... This weekend, your FMS Hot and Hard 100 highest new entry Theresa Ivancik will take to the stage at the pre-Christmas female muscle treat that is the NPC Nationals. And yes, there have been progress pics. Want to know how Theresa has been looking over the last month (not to mention much of what I've been looking at in that time)?
Then today's post is most definitely for you!
4 WEEKS OUT
4 weeks Miami!!!! writes Theresa. No stopping now!!!
Her veins are popping out across her magnificent chest ALREADY! And are my eyes deceiving me or do some of those gorgeous striations have striations of their own?
I'm wondering to myself whether or not I'm going to be able to handle four more weeks of such pumped up and oh so very swoonworthy muscle. And the side view only makes me wonder more. Wow, says Mr Fit Vids on Theresa's Instagram, echoing my thoughts exactly. I see winner right there. And he should know, he's bloody filmed a few.
Perfection! adds one of her fans. Easy there fella! The final countdown's just begun, mate - remember what M-People have taught us: Things can only get better...
THE EYE OF THE TIGRESS: 3 WEEKS OUT
I squeezed my way into a medium, jokes Theresa. Ye Gods! Pretty good, comments "fan" "alexanderbauer", with, believe it or not, absolutely no sense of irony.
Looks like she squeezed her way out of it too. Getting ready to hit some back, Theresa tells us. Hang on! This is BEFORE she pumps up?! She must be joking again...
Arms and chest day get updates this week as well, and I don't mind telling you that at this stage I am as good as passing out with all the swooning Theresa is compelling me to do... But what's this? Look out! There's video... Pec flyes. Have mercy Theresa!!!
She ignores my pleas. She's relentless.
Good morning abs!!! Welcome back!!! writes Theresa. Email me if you'd like to order a wood mosaic of your favorite sports teams, replies "mosaicsbyjak". Matey, I'll bloody show you a mosaic, thinks I. She's got my wood mosaicking bloody everything!
2 WEEKS OUT
Getting tighter ;) ready to bring the hurricane to Miami!!!!
I'm not especially proud of the comment about Theresa's marvellous midriff and the consequent mosaic that I made before, so I'm not going to say anything about what her one week tighter abs follow-up caused to blow (with hurricane force). Nothing at all. Just enjoy those veins. Just enjoy imagining, as I did, all the bits of Theresa outside the frame of the photo. And don't think about hurricanes. Or blowing. Don't.
Arm day! Theresa tells us, displaying the beef. That's a lot of chicken consumance, replies an aptly named Dutchman, "surrealmanifest". Would love to see how those arms feel, replies another follower. Clearly I'm not the only person suffering some kind of mental breakdown during Theresa's contest prep. Pretty good, pipes up our irony-less friend "alexanderbauer", could be bigger though. "Ultakaka" is somewhat less reserved: No one in the world has the beauty, definition and size of this woman. She has the look and appeal to put FBBing front and center. Can't help thinking I've heard that exact same sentence a few times in my female muscle lovin' life! Sometimes I think of us female muscle heads as the crowd in "The Life of Brian" - I say you're the Messiah and I should know, I've followed a few! Theresa: THE (latest) CHOSEN ONE!
This is where I ended up after hamstrings and legs day, admits Theresa, showing us she's mortal after all... But by Friday, she was risen again - up and at 'em, perky as hell. And topless. Again. Fasted cardio... Breakfast in check!!! Clients... Training quads, then massage!!! A massage?! Here comes the swoon... AMAZING BEAUTIFUL ETC replies "serge473", caps lock on as soon as he hit the "a", and it seems he just couldn't get it back off again. Or type more than a couple of words before giving up. I know it's hard with one free hand and all, but really, was it worth hitting return for that?
PEAK WEEK: 1 WEEK OUT
Getting closer to show time!!! she says.
I obviously need to eat a lot more protein 'cos I feel like I peaked somewhat early in the piece. But anyway, it's time for Theresa to work on those shoulders, which, like Moon River, are clearly wider than a mile (there's such a lot of delts to see...)
The hurricane is getting tighter and stronger, she promises. And those glutes certainly look strong and tight enough to cause some damage. Effortlessly taking up the extreme weather theme, Theresa-fan "reubenpatel" confidently predicts You'll blow away the competition lookin that Dayyyym fine. And hello, "serge473" has got his caps lock off: Get'em girl! he writes. Good on him. Me? Well, I'm kind of hypnotised by the eyes...
I don't think I've ever been in such a state of extreme excitement while actually writing a post and I've written a few! So what is it about Theresa these days? Such confidence in her eyes about how hot she is, writes one forum member. Female bodybuilders seem to understand tacitly that they have it all over other women. Indeed they do. And some female bodybuilders, it seems, understand it just that bit more than others.
FMS will have news of Theresa at the Nationals later in the week.