Sunday, 19 February 2017

Beautiful by Definition

Given the midriffs I was exposed to in my formative female muscle lovin' years - Marjo Selin (above), Sharon Bruneau, (the, I think, somewhat under-rated) Sue Gafner, and many many more, plus all those swimsuits with a big "abs-hole" cut into them - it is hardly surprising that I am, and always will be, an abs man at heart.

And if I hadn't come across so much evidence to the contrary, I would probably find it all but inconceivable that there are actually men who don't like women with muscular abs. Take this fool for example: I really don’t want to date a woman whose stomach is more chiseled than mine. It’s just not natural to me. I think stomachs should be flat, but choosing between 6-pack abs and a little pudge, and I’ll take the pudge.

Not natural? NOT NATURAL?!

That, I would suggest, is the whole f***ing point, mate.

A girl with abs would normally indicate to most guys that she cares about her appearance and her health. This is a great quality that guys tend to appreciate.

Ah-ha! Here we go. This is much more like it. Tell me more.

It may actually inspire some of these guys to want to be like the girl. They may want to start working out with her or exercise with her. True. TRUE! In other words, the effect this tends to have can go a lot further than mere physical attraction...

Well yes, I suppose you could say that...

This guy may actually discern these abs as a sign that he wants to get healthier himself. Giving a guy inspiration is always a good thing. It makes the girl special.


She isn’t like just any other girl.

Indeed. Sadly for the likes of you and me, women who go the considerable number of extra miles for that sculpted midsection are few and far between, but considering how we are hearing women - especially younger women - are spending more and more time in the gym these days, they may not be so few and far between in the very near future.

Great news for us. Not so much for Mr Pudge Lover.

Less sarcastically, I'll just agree to disagree with PL. We clearly have a very different definition of female beauty. Mine involves definition, and total admiration for the dedication it has taken her to get her sexy 6-pack, of course. But mainly, and if I sound shallow here it is no doubt because I am, I just LOVE how her abs look.

For me, they are beautiful. And I LOVE how she thinks they are beautiful too. How much pride she (rightly) has in herself for achieving what so few other women (in history, mind you) have achieved, how she can't resist taking every opportunity to show them off, how she even laments their passing during her off-season as others might miss migrating birds who have nested in their garden throughout the summer only to leave as the nights draw in. [what the f*** are you on? - ed.]

I feel that if you have time to have 6-pack abs then there’s a long list of other things I’d like to see you focus on too, says Mr Pudge Man. Thing is, sir, there is literally nothing I would rather she focus on, because there is literally nothing I can imagine that would be sexier than waking up next to a woman with a sexy 6-pack.

Except waking up next to two of them. Or an 8-pack. Or two.

You take my point.

Sir, you are most welcome to the pudge.

2017 Hot and Hard 100 voting - 9 days left.

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