A lot of beef. Looks like a female muscle all-star team.
Right now, I'm sitting on a hotel balcony overlooking the Cypriot coast. It's a balmy 25°C and it's not 10 o'clock yet. Down below, at the hotel swimming pool, my wife is lying out on a sun lounger. Her body looks great even from here, and I know when I finish this up (as well as "a few work emails") and I go down to join her, the closer I get, the better her body will look. It's all rather perfect. There's nowhere I'd rather be...
Although if you offered me a place at female bodybuilding's most exclusive get-together in exchange for my current situation, a sort of reporter on the ground kind of assignment perhaps, well, I would certainly have to think about it before I packed my bags, hightailed it to the airport, and hopped on the plane to Arizona.
I seriously doubt many other female muscle fans would be so circumspect.
The "Muscle Mansion Weekend" is a combination of business and pleasure for eight of the world's current best plus Wings of Strength spokesperson Lenda Murray, organised by Kristal and Jake Wood. And they know how to treat them right. Gifts, dinner, an evening out at the ice-hockey. Dressing up for photoshoots, a workout, and a little bit of contract signing as well it seems. A weekend of FBB wins all round.
There was reigning Ms Rising Phoenix Margie Martin, Helle Trevino, and Alina Popa. There was Aleesha Young, returning to the stage this year in Omaha, and Shawna Strong, Arizona local, scheduled to flex in anger again soon at the Toronto Pro, plus 2016 Puerto Rico champ Kim Buck. And there were two new pros, Margie protégé Brittney O'Veal, and Hot and Hard 100 runner-up, Theresa Ivancik.
Feast enough. But as well as Lenda, who still looks glorious at 55, I can't be the only one who's noticed just how much beef there is on Kristal Wood. No mean feat to make Alina's arms look insignificant. Being married to arms like Kristal's would be enough for most guys. Hulk Hogan lookalike Jake gets that and much much more besides.
To be fair though, he is 50% of 50% of the team who are slowly but surely cultivating the resurrection of professional Female Bodybuilding, so it's hard to dislike him.
Wish you were here? Perhaps the question should be "Wish you were him?"
More at #musclemansion
And - bonus - recorded at the NPC Nationals last year but only recently uploaded to the Wings of Strength YouTube channel, if you've ever wondered what Theresa Ivancik sounds like, well wonder no more... (even sexier than I imagined).