Thursday, 16 March 2017

Arnold Classic 2017: I Wish...

I wish I was the backstage pizza delivery guy.

Though I wouldn't have lasted long in the job cos I would probably not have collected much money from the ladies. Heather Dees (left) would have definitely got a freebie for a single flex of that beautiful veiny bicep of hers, for example. Actually, if I'm honest, Heather would have got a freebie just for being Heather Dees.

I wish there were more strongwoman contests attached to bodybuilding events.

Not going to make a big impassioned argument for it, but I don't see how it could be anything but good. Might bring in a slightly bigger audience, showcases a different type of hot and hard woman, and adds a different type of competition to the event.

I wish all clothes shop assistants greeted you like this...

I would do a lot more clothes shopping if so. A LOT more. I'd be dragging the wife out to the lanes, where I'd see guys just like me, six bags in each hand, explaining to their better halves that there was plenty of time to drop into just one or two more boutiques before the parking expires. "You can never have too much gymwear, darling."

I wish the abs flash was compulsory at check-in.

So few women do it - trust me, I check these things religiously. Four out of thirty in the Physique International field represents an unusually bumper Abs Flash Rate (AFR). So much much love to B, Zoa, Cinzia and Diana for their blatant exhibitionism - if I'd been judging, they'd have started the contest with Abs Flash Bonus Points (AFBPs).

I wish I could see what that statue has seen.

Another abs flash. Note how the lighting seems to be just right.

I wish Natalia Coehlo would just let herself grow.

How thick are those pecs?! If she ever decides Physique is for her and we see her flexing her delicious muscles in anger I may just die and go to heaven. Although having said that, if this is the future of Figure then Figure has a very big and very bright future indeed. Natalia is on the right as you look in case you were in any doubt.

I wish I was Ariel Khadr's wardrobe assistant, and/or I was going to that party.

I would certainly be smiling at least as much as the gingernut over Diana's shoulder.

I wish Miss Fit was a movie franchise. Starring Denise, of course.

And I can totally see Theresa as the nerdy (but ultimately equally kick-ass) assistant.

I wish "The Freaky 3" were the new "Charlie's Angels".

I've got thousands of these TV and movie ideas, by the way.

All terrific, as Donald would say.

And, though the Physique International field was amazing and all that...

I wish Dani had competed.

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