Some familiar faces (and bodies) among our twenty hot and hard women today, some of them among the eight new entries. There are also two re-entries who I was personally especially happy to see back in our collective female muscle lovin' consciousness in 2016. Let's boldly go towards and into our Top 50, shall we?
NICOLE WILKINS NEW ENTRY
4 x Ms Figure Olympia
I am surprised she has never appeared in your top 100s, wrote one Nicole-voting fan, I don't understand why! Surely some mistake! I thought. She must have made one... So I checked. No mistake. Incredible as it may seem, this is indeed Nicole's debut on the Hot and Hard 100. The smart money is on this not being her last appearance.
KATHY GARZA NEW ENTRY
NPC Physique Competitor
I first saw Kathy in the NPC USA pump room, well, in NPC News Online's video edit of anyway. It was swoon at first sight, and since then she's been similarly affecting more and more heads with her Gina Davis-like combination of beauty and muscle and arms you could just watch all day. Completely in love with her arms, confessed one voter, while another admitted (not entirely correctly says the teacher in me), I gotta big crush on her. We're all a little bit in love with Kathy, it seems, or at least those of us who notice things like who finishes fourth in their class at the NPC USAs are, and the rest of you will be falling in love with her before long as well. Those ARMS!!!
지연우 (YEON WOO-JHI) (#50)
IFBB Physique Pro
Again, she's not the #1 hot and hard Asian on our list, but last year Yeon Woo-Jhi had another great season, cementing her place as by far the most successful Asian IFBB pro currently competing. 11th in an ultra-competitive (and big) line-up at the 2016 Physique International, she then bagged 3rd at the New York Pro looking hotter than a strip of spicy beef fresh off the (Korean) barbecue. Yeon's glute to hamstring curve is something to behold, noted one (clearly knowledgable) commentator at the time.
JULIANA MALACARNE (#74=)
3 x (and reigning) Ms Physique Olympia
Undisputed... undefeated... Well, actually Juliana has been defeated once. It was in 2013 at the first ever Physique Olympia. She came 7th. 7th! But in every other Physique contest she's entered - all eight of them - she's walked off with the trophy. That includes the last three Olympias. That 7th must be a distant memory now, if she bothers to remember it at all. Clearly she is the IFBB judges idea of Physique perfection, and there are few who would argue with them in this case. Now 42, Juliana will no doubt descend from Mt Malacarne once more this year, and take the stage in Las Vegas as the woman to beat. I wouldn't bet against her making it four in a row.
GÜLÜZAR TÜFENK (#73)
Athlete, Gym Freak
Another year, another appearance for Gülüzar in the Hot and Hard 100, and I still really don't have any more factual information about her to share with you. I'm slightly more sure that she's Turkish, going on the language she used to wish her IG followers Happy New Year. Or perhaps Turkmen? She does have some rather Russian-sounding middle names. Oh, I don't know. But I do know what I like. And you know what you like. And we like those girl-next-door looks and muscle exhibitionism, don't we?
BRIE EUBANKS (#36)
IFBB Physique Pro
You could be forgiven for not having noticed that Brie made her pro Physique debut in 2016. It was hardly the stuff of dreams, finishing unplaced at the San Antonio Pro, and as far as I can tell from her social media, it's led to no little contemplation on her part re the future. She's still training herself, and training others, and still, no doubt, stopping every room she walks into dead with her sheer... well, Brieness.
SOPHIE ARVEBRINK (#27)
She's BAAAAACK! wrote just about everyone who voted for Sophie and had comments on their lists. Indeed. It was a death in the family that led to Sophie taking a social media break, but the female muscle lovin' community didn't know that at the time, and one forum poster turned the doom up to 11. She'll never come back, wrote the poor soul. Forget her, it's the best thing you can do... Well, first up, I am hardly likely to forget Sophie ever. And she was back within weeks of his none more black post. She is shorter of hair, and, to my eyes, if it were possible, even more beautiful.
LARISSA REIS (#74=)
Fitness Model & Restauranteur
Top Ten in the first Hot and Hard 100 in 2014, Larissa has forever been doing her "wake up and flex" thing, but has been sliding down our list year on year. She rises again this. She hasn't (to my knowledge) competed for nearly 3 years. Instead, she's opened her own chain of Protein House restaurants (newest addition - Kansas City), and become a fixture at Fitness Expos around the world. In fact, I don't think any event can actually call itself a Fitness Expo anymore unless Larissa is there. It's The Law.
ANITA HERBERT NEW ENTRY
IFBB Bikini Pro
Made in Hungary, based in Miami, Anita is the most popular Bikini pro (out of two) on our list, and one of the few non-British Bikini competitors who have ever featured on FMS. A five-time pro winner, only one title - in Fort Lauderdale - came in 2016.
MELISSA WEE (#10)
One way or another, Melissa spent a fair bit of time au naturel this year. There was the naked hiking, and more recently she had a series of photos of herself done that paid tribute to Bodybuilding.com's "Body in Motion" series from some time ago. And the result of all this noodity? Melissa dive bombs 41 places out of the Hot and Hard 100 Top Ten where she was last year, no longer the highest-placed Asian woman on the list. So, what are we saying? We prefer the string bikinis to the full monty? Really?!
KELSEY HAAS NEW ENTRY
NPC Figure Competitor
To me, Kelsey Haas (aka Kelsey Nicole) simply does not compute. I know it's the same 5'11" goddess, but the Kelsey on her Instagram who looks absolutely HUGE every time she flexes her arms and/or delts and the Kelsey I see in contest photos, the Figure competitor, seem to be two very different women. I mean, she can't stop flexing, she has the most wonderful bicep peaks, and yet when she goes on stage she doesn't get to show them off. It's almost sad enough to make me weep. Or maybe that's just the effect her muscles have on me - they bring tears to my eyes. Her Popeye forearms. Just incredible. Figure? Really?! Are we quite sure about this?
LAUREN MARTIN STOW NEW ENTRY
2016 OPA Provincials Figure Champion
You have got to be jealous of Canada. Though Lauren was good enough to win the Ontario Provincials in 2016, at the national championships, 14th. This is the 14th best Canadian Figure competitor in the "D" class. The riches of Canada. Truly amazing. As is Lauren's transformation over the last couple of years. A stunning woman.
SHARON MADDERSON NEW ENTRY
IFBB Pro Bodybuilder (retired), 2nd 2016 WABBA Universe
Retired from competition now that is. Sharon is still very much a Bodybuilder (with a big fat capital B). Her first appearance on the Hot and Hard 100 list comes after her jaw-dropping showing at the 2016 WABBA Universe at the end of last year, where she finished 2nd. I reckon she is in the best shape I have ever seen of her right now, noted one Sharon voter. It suits her, shame she has retired from competitions. I think we can all agree, but there's no disputing that Sharon has done her competitive time. She was British champ as long ago as 2006, and was often the lone UK FBB on the IFBB pro stage during that post-Gayle Moher pre-Rene and Lisa period around the turn of the decade. Now 51, Sharon has never looked - or felt - better. A thriving career, wife and a Mum [and grandmother]... who ever said you can't have it all?! she says.
RENE CAMPBELL (#34)
IFBB Pro Bodybuilder
I resist the temptation to also put the bracket retired bracket under Rene's name because, well... I hope she might compete again. After the problems she'd had during 2015, the 2016 Norfolk Pro was supposed to have been her last show. It would have been nice if she'd been able to say good bye in front of a home crowd, but the days when pro FBBs compete in the UK are not going to be any time soon. It would have been nice if Rene had won. Sadly, she had to settle for a modest 5th place. Globally I think I can say she is the best-loved of the UK's recent female bodybuilder vintage. Rene will be much missed if this was, indeed, her last on stage hurrah.
CHRISTINE ENVALL NEW ENTRY
IFBB Pro Bodybuilder
Surprisingly, this is Chris' first appearance in the Hot and Hard 100, perhaps made even more surprising because she didn't compete at all last year, and spent much of it travelling and doing her thing for the nutrition line she co-owns, International Protein. Lots of pics of the monumental Chris in front of monuments on her IG in 2016. Hardly a freakishly vascular calf muscle in sight, I'm afraid to say. Sorry about that!
ROSANNA HARTE (#43)
2016 IFBB Europa (Dallas) Physique Champion
So after having become Britain's second IFBB Physique pro, Rosie put her foot on the gas, as it were. 2016 saw her become the first British woman to win an IFBB Pro Physique title, which meant that later in the year she became our first ever Physique Olympian. 11th and the "Rookie of the Year" award. Rosie was pleased. I couldn't have asked for a better result for my first year at the "O", she said. Note that - my "first" year. As soon as she'd left the stage in Las Vegas she was planning how she needed to refine her genetically-advantaged body for 2017. A bona fide national treasure.
ARIEL GAIL (#37)
Goddess, Connection Creator, Artist, Energy Healer
That's Ariel's list of things that she is, anyway, and who am I to argue? In 2016 (and so far in 2017), she's competed in Physique rather than Bodybuilding, despite the fact that her coach is none other than Alina Popa these days. It's frustrating, even as you vote for her apparently. I love the thickness in her legs, and it doesn't hurt that she's very attractive too! said one voter. She certainly has the body type to add more muscle, I'm sure she would have cracked it had she remained a Bodybuilder.
BAKHAR NABIEVA NEW ENTRY
"Ms Iron Bum"
Written about by the global media, 1.1m Instagram followers and counting, and now a new entry on the FMS Hot and Hard 100. Bakhar Nabieva has truly arrived! Rumours there is a picture of her actually smiling have proved to be a hoax.
PENPRAGHAI TIANGNGOK RE-ENTRY
2016 IFBB Arizona Pro Physique Champion
Hardly a whisper from her for the best part of four years, and then suddenly she's back. Those stories that she'd been in jail, had a sex change and/or "massive amounts" of cosmetic surgery were finally put to rest. She'd added a bit more size to her perfect frame, and returned in style, rather appropriately claiming the Physique title at the same Arizona show as the Rising Phoenix. FMS reported our joy at her return, and she's back in the Hot and Hard 100 after a year out, the #2 highest re-entry.
JAMIE PINDER RE-ENTRY
2016 IFBB Chicago Pro Physique Champion
And here's our highest re-entry, and another woman whose return to competition had FMS - at least self-confessed "Pinderette" Swell - turning (proverbial, not actual) cartwheels. Like Penpraghai, Jamie returned to the stage a winner, taking her second title in Chicago three years after her first, before placing in the top 5 at the Physique Olympia. "So pretty" was all the comment I got from Jamie voters, so why don't we revisit what FMS had to say about her back in July: From those big beautiful biceps to the detail in her legs. From her wondrous chest to her glorious glutes. Her make-up and styling planned and executed in meticulous detail - hardly surprising given that she is a make-up artist herself. The suit, the routine. Everything she does is pure class. And you too can join The Jamie Pinder Fan Club. Write to Pinderettes United, c/o Female Muscle Slave, Sthenolagnia House, London, to receive your free badge.
So there you are, the first 60 women in our 2017 Hot and Hard 100 in just 3 days!
Just 40 women and 5 new entries left. We'll meet numbers 40-31 tomorrow.